TrailerBytes: The Paperboy, Skyfall and Nobody Walks

TrailerBytes with Dan Spritz

The Paperboy

This is the movie where Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron. That very fact probably makes any associated marketing strategy superfluous. If it doesn’t though, this trailer isn’t going to do it any favors. In the opening clip, Kidman, Efron, and Matthew McConaughey appear to be engaging in some sort of competition to use the most ludicrous southern accent imaginable. It’s not a good look, but it also might be the most lucid part of the trailer. After that, it’s just a mess. Kidman wants to get her fiancé (John Cusack) out of jail, and she enlists journalists Efron and McConaughey to help her. I don’t believe she understands the legal process. Regardless, they seem to do very little, while Efron and Kidman do have an affair. Then, to everyone’s surprise, Cusack is let free. Why? I suppose the better question is, why not? He emerges from jail, and violence ensues, because what else is a movie going to do with a character who’s just been set free? (No, Nicole does not pee on Zac in this trailer.)

The Paperboy

Skyfall

I don’t believe this trailer is two and a half minutes. Only time dilation could allow so much information to be so clearly conveyed in such a short period of time. It sounds like an amazing movie, so let’s just run down the beats:

  • After a lack of room forces a sniper to shoot at someone James Bond (Daniel Craig) is fighting with, Bond is hit with the bullet, forcing him to fall off a train, presumably to his death. Why didn’t they trust Bond to kill the thug himself? It’s what he does, and pushing someone else off would certainly have been easy.
  • A flash drive with the identity of every agent embedded in a terrorist organization has fallen into the wrong hands. Why would they put all of that information on something like that? That’s just asking for trouble.
  • Bond comes back from the dead, because resurrection is apparently his only hobby. Aren’t drinking and womanizing his hobbies? Whatever.
  • There’s a new Q (Ben Whisaw), and he looks like he’s 24. Precocity is hilarious!
  • Bond is given a gun that only responds to his signature. I imagine this will come into play at a climactic moment.
  • Javier Bardem plays a villain (and brothel owner) who traffics in a deeper fear that anyone can imagine. Settle down Cillian Murphy, I’m sure he also has tricks up his sleeve.
  • Bond meets a blond Bardem who is, in fact, terrifying.
  • Bond has a sex scene where a woman shaves his beard. I have no further comments.

Nobody Walks

This movie, co-written by Lena Dunham(!!!) offers up the rare love sextet. In the top tier of maybe-philandering, we have filmmaker/producer/rich LA person John Krasinski helping young filmmaker/not-yet producer/up-and-coming LA person Olivia Thirlby with the sound on her movie. In the next tier of maybe-philandering we have Rosemarie DeWitt entering into a doubly-forbidden relationship with Justin Kirk (she plays Krasinski’s wife / Kirk’s therapist). I don’t predict it will end well. In the third tier we have not philandering, but a relationship that is presumably frowned upon between DeWitt’s (and Krasinski’s?) daughter and Krasinski’s assistant. Amazingly, Dylan McDermott shows up and has no romantic interactions with anyone. As convoluted as that may all sound, it makes for a compelling trailer. It’s amazingly sensual, to the point that it sexualizes a lemon in a way that makes sense. I’d be worried about the acidity. though More importantly, this trailer introduces angry John Krasinski. Have you ever seen John angry? I certainly haven’t, and I want to see more. The potential there is limitless.

Dan Spritz / Cherry On Top / @DanSpritz

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