TrailerBytes: The Dark Knight Rises and more!

TrailerBytes with Dan Spritz

The Dark Knight Rises

This is the final trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, and it is more subdued than the previous two. It favors crippling citywide depression to action, even though two bridges blow up and a football field implodes. It is dark, and drives home how much danger Bruce Wayne is actually in while focusing on Anne Hathaway and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s characters. He appears to be an everyman member of Gotham PD, and she appears to be a sumptuous member of the Gotham elite. While previous trailers have painted her as being in favor of Gotham’s populist uprising, her fear of Bane hints at something else. Speaking of Bane, he’s seen a voice coach! (Or a sound mixer). He claims to be, “Gotham’s Reckoning,” and feels Bruce Wayne deserves a punishment more severe than death. He is also involved in some sort of insane mid-air hijacking of one plane by another. Even that awesome action sequence is downplayed considerably. In all, it perfectly sets up a world that falling apart and has no hope.

The Dark Knight Rises

Beasts of the Southern Wild

I know nothing about this movie. I’ve watched the trailer twice and I don’t even have a passing understanding of what the movie is about. Here’s the list of things I think this movie focuses on:

  • The interconnectedness of everything in the world.
  • The fragility of that interconnectedness.
  • A special boy
  • Fatherhood
  • Community
  • An Orox, whatever that is
  • An Orox’s escape from under the ice
  • A flood
  • Crabs
  • Past, present, & future
  • More Oroxes
  • Wonderment

The Expendables 2

This trailer is exactly what you would imagine it would be. It’s basically a parody trailer, except it’s real. Sylvester Stallone introduces it in his characteristically hard to understand tone. He makes a point of enunciating here, but imagine if he played Bane. Moving forward, there are absurd explosions, absurd fight sequences, absurd set pieces, and a couple absurd lines. The plot doesn’t matter, but it revolves around the wrong people acquiring some absurd amount of plutonium. Liam Hemsworth gives the cast some youth, and he does not appear to be hungry . Also, Chuck Norris is back, apparently. I didn’t realize he had been gone. You’ll know if you’ll like this trailer before you watch it.

Dan Spritz / Cherry On Top / @DanSpritz

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Kim Kardashian Things We Don't Want To See: Kim Kardashian upcoming book of her selfies! Evil Beet
Jennifer Aniston: Justin Theroux 'will put a gun to my head' if I get fillers like Botox! Celebitchy
Britney Spears is flaunting her (26th) new body with some very sexy pictures ... PopSugar
Jared Leto has been looking like Jesus for a while–now he is taking it even further ... SOW
Perennially constipated Kristen Stewart has lots to say in the new issue of ELLE The Blemish
Sorry everyone, but Kate Upton is not planning to get naked anytime soon! ICYDK
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have way more money than they should have! Celebslam
OMG, smelt it, dealt it ... Lady Gaga dropped a new fragrance–EAU DE GAGA OMG Blog
Madame Tussauds just unveiled their brand-new Selena Gomez wax figure Hollywood Tuna
Hottie Matthew Terry covers DANSK magazine's new autumn / winter issue! Oh La La
Oh, it's just Beyoncé reminding us (AGAIN) she's still in love with her husband ... Dlisted