TrailerBytes: Prometheus, Avengers and Battleship

TrailerBytes with Dan Spritz

Prometheus

A trailer for a trailer? What the hell is this? There was already a theatrical trailer, and this teaser barely builds off it. It fails at effectively teasing the movie, and isn’t the point of a teaser to build anticipation? You can’t go back and forth on something like this. The order is all wrong. With all of that in mind, what is this video really teasing? There’s a ship flying to planet. That ship lands on the planet, and a few vehicles leave it to explore the surface. Then, we see individuals exploring, some strange energy orbs flying down a tunnel, and general chaos. This chaos takes us through to the end of the teaser, but consists almost entirely of footage or events we’ve already seen. The only new element is the red orbs. Is that what I’m supposed to be excited about? “Ooh, I can’t wait to see two more seconds of a thing that won’t make sense out of context anyway!”

The Avengers

This is the Japanese trailer, so you’ll have to wade through a little Japanese voice-over. Amusingly, there is no word in Japanese for Avengers. The trailer itself rehashes many of the beats of previous trailers (The Avengers don’t like each other, etc.), but throws in a few carrots. The most notable of these is the realization that Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts will be in this film. To me though, the most important part of the trailer is that Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye is finally allowed to speak. He’s only an Avenger, for goodness sakes. A couple other nuggets: Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury shoots a bazooka and Cobie Smulders also gets to speak for the first time. It’s definitely a trailer worth seeing, if for nothing else than to hear the Japanese VO guy say, “Avengers.”

Battleship

I bet they released this trailer this week to capitalize on John Carter (zing!). Since this was my lasting impression of the previous trailer, I didn’t have any idea what to expect from this trailer. It begins with a scene reminiscent of (but ¼ as interesting as) the operation scene in Independence Day. Some random violence ensues, along with the revelation that Hong Kong is the city that is being destroyed. I suppose a person with knowledge of international skylines would already know that, but I am not that person. After causing me to worry about the effect Hong Kong’s destruction will have on the world’s economy, this trailer of course culminates with an exchange between both of Friday Night Lights’ representatives in this film.

Landry: ”What are your orders?”

Riggins: “We’re not going down without a fight.”

Oh, I thought you would sit there placidly as you were exterminated. My bad. On the bright side, Rihanna is able to show off her acting chops with the fantastically-written, “Boom!” I’m pretty sure her songs have more depth than this movie.

Quick recap: an unconscionable number of explosions combined with Taylor Kitsch’s lackadaisical charisma. It’ll probably be a serviceable action movie, but I’m not expecting anything special.

(That’s right, I just did a recap in a recap. Take that, teaser for a trailer people!)

Battleship

Dan Spritz / Cherry On Top / @DanSpritz

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