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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce!
June 29, 2012 JEREMY FEIST
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

I momentarily considered titling this post “Tom Cruise got rid of his beard,” but then I realized it was too on the nose I don’t like getting sued HAHA! What a hilarious joke that is completely untrue! (But seriously, first amendment! Parody! Please don’t sue us!) Anyway, after five years of marriage, it looks like the couple is filing divorce (on a Friday, before an upcoming national holiday distraction). Or more accurately, Katie Holmes filed for divorce and she’s also trying to take sole custody of Suri. TMZ reports:

We know Katie filed the divorce docs in New York on June 28, citing “irreconcilable differences.”  She is asking for sole legal custody and “primary residential custody” of the couple’s 6-year-old daughter, Suri. We also know Katie is asking for a “suitable amount” of child support. Katie also asks for a division of property in her divorce docs, although we know there was a significant prenup that is based on California law.  Katie makes no mention of the prenup in her filing.

Normally, this is where I’d make a joke about this scenario, except once again: I don’t like getting sued. To be honest, I would very much enjoy not being sued. So I’m just going to shut up and also maybe link to this video of polar bears playing in the snow. It was either that or throw a smoke bomb on the ground and run.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes