Over the weekend, I randomly thought to myself “Hey, is Tila Tequila dead?” So I asked Twitter and it turns out, nope, everyone’s favorite thalidomide slut-baby is still alive, which I guess means I need to hunker down and finish my penicillin fortress. Anyway, for the sake of curiosity I did some research and it turns out the bitch “quit” Hollywood and is now moving to NYC (dammit, this is why you must answer the bridge troll’s riddles three!), despite the fact that you actually have to have a job before you quit, but okay, whatever skank. Oh, and she’s looking for roommates on her blog, because that’s how a mogul does it.
The 29-year-old made a name for herself doing reality-TV shows and was often seen zooming around LA in her bright blue Lamborghini, but she’s trading in all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood for the hustle and bustle of the East coast. “I’m so over the LA scene. I’m ready to just be a normal city girl and do normal things and meet new people and friends and just live my life,” Tila told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “It’s time for me to move on. I want to fall in love, get married and make babies!” SOURCE
Yeah, until you realize she “fell in love” by making straight boys and lesbians eat bull testicles, got fake engaged to a fellow drug addict, and then got fake pregnant and subsequently had a fake miscarriage, so chances are none of that will ever really happen to her because … well, actually, I was about to say that lying addicts don’t have babies, and then I realized that Dina Lohan had three of them. Well played, universe. Well played.