While no one was looking, NBC apparently decided to start running an episode of The Voice on Wednesday, which totally doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that The X Factor is premiering next week at the exact same time, which once again adds fuel to my theory that all the major networks are run by the popular bitchy girls you knew in high school. Anyway, Simon Cowell has thrown his man tits into the fray, claiming that The Voice is afraid of Britney Spears, and you didn’t hear this from him, but The Voice is a total slut who goes down on guys behind the 7/11 near the park. I KNOW RIGHT? TMZ reports …
Simon says NBC is turning on its own audience, forcing them to choose between Christina Aguilera’s show and Britney Spears’ new show. And speaking of them, Simon says, “Britney’s not going to appreciate the fact that Christina — who has been a bit of a rival — isn’t allowing Britney to have a night of her own.”
Simon tells TMZ, he believes the move is as personal as it gets, because The Voice came to England and went head-to-head with Simon’s show, Britain’s Got Talent and got its ass kicked. Simon says, “These guys have really got it in for us. It’s nothing short of dirty tricks.”
Cowell adds, “The reason they’ve done this is they don’t want people to see X Factor because they’ve heard how good the series is. They don’t want their audience to see Britney Spears. They don’t want their audience to see Demi Lovato.”
Just putting this out there, but ummmm … you guys realize this is a karaoke competition, right? This is what I do when I down way too many Cowboy Cocksuckers at O’Grady’s on a Thursday, only instead of the manager telling me that I need to put my pants on when I’m on-stage or he’ll call the police, it’s L.A. Reid. And also there are sweet potato fries. You can’t get sweet potato fries on The X Factor.