‘The Situation’ is worth how much?!

Who has two thumbs, four abs, and is worth $5 million per year? That guy down there! Seriously. The Situation apparently makes about $5 million bucks off Jersey Shore, public appearances and endorsements per year, and all because he has abdominal muscles that look like a happy puppy. Take this information and kill yourself with it.

Mike Sorrentino, 29, reportedly earns $60,000 per episode of Jersey Shore and commands an appearance fee of $15,000 to $50,000. These paychecks put him at about $1 million before his many endorsements and branded products.

“We are really excited about all the opportunities coming Mike’s way,” his manager, Mike Petolino of Gotham Entertainment, told THR. “He has been able to secure many endorsement deals, business opportunities and additional television offers based on the success of the show. Our goal has always been to try to build a brand if the situation presented itself.” SOURCE

Hey, I like Jersey Shore as much as the next person (Read: It makes me want to set myself and everyone I love on fire), but are you fucking kidding me? He makes that much for having four abs? You can grate cheese and wash your laundry simultaneously on Erik Rhodes‘ abs, and even he doesn’t make that much. Well, maybe he would if he painted himself orange and acted like the biggest douche to ever douche a douche.

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Whitney Houston / Yaya Dacosta ANTM's Yaya DaCosta takes on Whitney Houston in Lifetime biopic of the singer's life OMG Blog
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes 'literally could not be more excited' about their baby Celebitchy
Lea Michele and the Glee cast share heartfelt messages about Cory Moneith :( PopSugar
Hugh Jackman recently shaved his head to play Blackbeard in the Peter Pan movie! SOW
Zac Efron has apaprently been hooking up with Michelle Rodriguez since 2011?! The Blemish
Glee's Becca Tobin's boyfriend, Matt Bendik, was found dead in his hotel room! ICYDK
The day we all haven't been waiting for is here, Paris Hilton has a new single out Celebslam
Oh my word ... this is one red carpet fashion disaster that no one should see! Hollywood Tuna
Watch: Sexy Dolce & Gabbana models hit on you ... while they suck on helium! Oh La La
Someone tell Lindsay Lohan that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words Evil Beet
Brody Jenner went to Reggie Bush's wedding after skipping Kim Kardashian's wedding! Dlisted