Because the only thing missing from your Christmas tree was a terminal STD, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi decided to release a line of Xmas ornaments. Everything about that sentence filled me with a rage that can only be cured by binge-drinking. Entertainment Weekly reports:
In case you missed HSN’s A Very Snooki Holiday Gift Special, well … shame on you! You may have missed the fact that yet another holiday has been guido-fied. That’s right, GTL now stands for ‘Glitter, Trees, Lights.’ For the November 10th special, Snooki partnered with Kurt S. Adler to create an exclusive collection of holiday ornaments (close-up after the jump) inspired by the Jersey Shore kids.
It should be noted, however, that if you put these on a tree, CDC will break into your home, quarantine your tree, and castrate you before you spread either your diseases or your genes to anyone else. Putting Jersey Shore ornaments on your tree is a festive way to tell guests at your holiday party that you have so much gonorrhea, your penis looks like a dying snake vomiting wasabi.