It’s that time of the year again: the 85th Annual Academy Awards are a-coming, and once again we all have to pretend like we don’t know exactly who will win. (Beasts of the Southern Wild has no chance, but I hope it picks up a few wins.) Anyway, here’s the list of the big awards, via HuffPo, because these are really the only ones I can make informed bets on when it comes time to make my Oscar pool.
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Life of Pi
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Bradley Cooper for “Silver Linings Playbook”
Daniel Day-Lewis for “Lincoln”
Hugh Jackman for “Les Misérables”
Joaquin Phoenix for “The Master”
Denzel Washington for “Flight.”
Jessica Chastain for “Zero Dark Thirty”
Jennifer Lawrence for “Silver Linings Playbook”
Emmanuelle Riva for “Amour”
Quvenzhane Wallis for “Beasts of the Southern Wild”
Naomi Watts for “The Impossible.”
Best Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin for “Argo”
Robert De Niro for “Silver Linings Playbook”
Philip Seymour Hoffman for “The Master”
Tommy Lee Jones for “Lincoln”
Christoph Waltz for “Django Unchained.”
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams for “The Master”
Sally Field for “Lincoln”
Anne Hathaway for “Les Misérables”
Helen Hunt for “The Sessions”
Jacki Weaver for “Silver Linings Playbook.”
Michael Haneke for “Amour”
Benh Zeitlin for “Beasts of the Southern Wild”
Ang Lee for “Life of Pi”
Steven Spielberg for “Lincoln”
David O. Russell for “Silver Linings Playbook.”
Best Animated Feature Film
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Best Original Song
“Before My Time” from “Chasing Ice” by J. Ralph
“Everybody Needs a Best Friend” from “Ted” by Walter Murphy and Seth MacFarlane
“Pi’s Lullaby” from “Life of Pi” by Mychael Danna and Bombay Jayashri
“Skyfall” from “Skyfall” by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth
“Suddenly” from “Les Misérables” by Claude-Michel Schonberg, Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublil.
I know what you’re saying: What happened to Ben Affleck? Or Kathryn Bigelow? Well, sure, those are some glaring oversights, but the biggest snub of the night should be obvious…
Lindsay Lohan: Why didn’t I get a nomination for my starring role as Elizabeth Taylor in Liz & Dick?!
Ginny, the Magical Talking Gin Bottle: They’re just jealous of your youth and beauty!
Lindsay: You’re right, Ginny! I am the best person ever!
Ginny: Put me in your face, we’ll go on a magical adventure!
Lindsay: WEEEEEE! LINDSAY AND GINNY, MAGICAL BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!