Once again, since I have no intention of spending fifty bajillion posts on an awards show that the rewards sparkly vampires and tiny canadian lez-bots. Therefore, I’m taking all the most important parts from last night’s MTV Movie Awards and condensing them into one mega-post. Like a mutli-vitamin of bitchiness.
- Twilight won fucking everything. No, really, it won everything. Best movie, best actor, best actress, best fight scene and best kiss. Awful. On the plus side, Chloe Grace Moretz won best badass and breakout star, while Emma Stone won best comedic performance and Ellen Page won an award for acting terrified in basically one scene, so all in all, it’s not that bad.
- Oh, wait, I take it back. Justin Bieber‘s Never Say Never won Best Jaw Dropping Moment because … fuck if I know. It’s because he’s Justin Bieber basically. And in his acceptance speech, he pandered to his audience by saying that his girlfriend would never change him and that his fans always come first. Guess who didn’t get any that night?
- Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson kissed for the first time. The first time in public at least. So that’s fun.
- Reese Witherspoon won a generation award, and in her acceptance speech, she dissed reality TV famewhores (yay!) and people who like to show it off on the Internet (boo!) and everyone is saying that this was a dig at Blake Lively. Sure, why not?
- For a full list of the winners, go here.