I never understood Kris Jenner‘s incessant need to give everything a name starting with the letter K. So far, my only theory on the matter is that she lost her virginity while watching an episode of Sesame Street brought to you by the letter K, or while she was eating a bowl of Special K, but those are both super creepy. Anyway, Kris’ weird OCD obsession with the letter K finally bit her in the ass when she sent a press release to The Observer wherein she calls her family “The Klan”, because nothing gets attention like getting people to mistake you for a group of super nerdy white supremacists.
Hi, I hope you are doing well! Kourtney, Kim and Khloé personally invite you to join them in celebrating the launch of the Kardashian Kollection. Join the stylish Kardashian Klan on September 6th at the private studio of the legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz for an exclusive preview of their fabulous new fashion Kollection for Sears.
** Please note: RSVP to [REDACTED] no later than Friday, September 2nd as space is limited.
“Afterwards, we’ll have punch and pie while we have ourselves a good ol’ fashioned cross burning and sacrifice a goat to our Level 70 Grand Master Dragon. Then we’ll shoot off our rifles into the air, maybe drag someone who thinks differently than us from the back of our Racistmobiles, and then we’ll all try and forget that my daughter is only famous because she let a man pee on her on film. WHITE POWER!”