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The Hiltons represent everything that sucks about America?

The Hiltons represent everything that sucks about America?
December 10, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

The Hiltons

So I’m guessing this whole stupid Lindsay Lohan / Paris Hilton‘s useless brother fight thing is going to be the big story for the next little while, so f*ck it, let’s just get to it. Apparently, punching a Hilton in the face is making LiLo’s pal Ray LeMoine (31) something of a celebrity, which I don’t disagree with. It’s a better reason to be famous then, say, being shat out by rich people and then buying yourself a reality TV show. Which brings me to the crux of this post, which is that apparently LeMoine is telling everyone that Barron Hilton and his ilk represent everything that sucks about America which, once again, I DON’T DISAGREE WITH. What is happening to me? RadarOnline reports …

“It was 5 a.m. by the time I got home to the rented mansion and discovered a huge party. I didn’t know anyone there, the crowd was lame, and I went to bed. In the morning I woke up to discover that a bunch of people had been up all night doing Molly.”

“My friend’s name was on the lease of this mansion, and we didn’t want anyone to trash it, so we started kicking people out,” he wrote. “I walked out to the patio, and I saw this blond brosef in a top hat and John Lennon glasses. He seemed nice at first, but when I asked him to leave, he went bonkers.”

LeMoine said Barron barked at him, “Don’t f**k with me! Do you know who my sisters are? Paris and Nicky!” LeMoine said Barron got in his face, “and wouldn’t shut up about his stupid family.

“Eventually things got so heated that he pushed me. And that’s when the alleged assault, which of course I deny, took place.”

Barron got on the horn with his sisters, who notified the media of the alleged attack, LeMoine said.

[…] “I’ve always wanted to go to Cuba by boat,” he wrote. “The Hiltons represent everything that sucks about America, and I’ll be happy to get away from them.

Normally, when someone has a brush with a pseudo-celebrity and becomes one themselves, I usually brush it off as famewhoring, but … he actually makes a lot of salient points. He seems smart and level-headed, and more than anything, he just seems like some guy trying to deal with an entitled asshole who got pushed too far. So yay random person who allegedly punched a Hilton in the face! You’re allegedly doing the lord’s work.

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Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.