"Mile, if twerkin woulda been invented…. And I had a foam finger…. I woulda done the same thang you did." – DAD
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) August 28, 2013
So have fun getting the mental image of a twerking Billy Ray Cyrus out of your head.
So on that note, I’m officially retiring this stupid, lame story back to hell where it belongs. Because OMG is this ever exhausting. Miley Cyrus shook her ass and we all acted like it was the most important thing in the world when it was really just a kid who saw some women twerking and thought “me too!” She’s a kid trying to show us how mature she is and trying to get as much attention as she possibly can out of it. That’s all this is. So congrats Miley, you now join the ranks of bender-era Charlie Sheen and psychotic meltdown-era Amanda Bynes in The Hall of I’m Not Talking About This Anymore.