TelevisionBytes: Bieber, SYTYCD, ANTM, and more!

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Happy June, y’all! While you were out celebrating the long Memorial Day weekend and short work week, I was keeping track of all the TV happenings. Here’s a rundown of what you should know for those Monday-morning awkward cubical discussions.

TelevisionBytes

Justin Bieber is getting his very own network television special. Justin Bieber: All Around the World will follow Bieber as he prepares for his upcoming tour, a feature performances of his new album, Believe, including his #1 single “Boyfriend”. NBC will air a one-hour special on Thursday, June 21 at 8pm ET. Queue the screaming girls!

The best show on television you’re not watching is hands down Hip Hop Squares. It’s like Hollywood Squares except with rappers like Biz Markie and Ghostface Killah. Genius, right? Yeah, it’s on MTV2 and it’s hysterical and go set your DVRs immediately. Tuesdays at 11pm EST!

While you’re setting your DVRs, if you’ve missed an episode of The Walking Dead, AMC is airing a 19-episode marathon on July 7 and 8.

Remember that time that So You Think You Can Dance contestant auditioned and made it to Vegas? You know, the one with the porn past (link NSFW).

America’s Next Top Model crowned the winner of their 18th cycle (ugh), and her name is Sophie Sumner. This was Sumner’s second trip to a Top Model finale – she was a finalist on Britain’s Next Top Model during its fifth season (apparently this season was a British all-stars vs American newbies theme, but I wouldn’t know since I stopped watching 100 cycles ago). Anyway, if you’re pissed off about that somehow, then don’t worry – you can have your say next cycle. Tyra Banks basically fired the entire judging panel (see: Nigel, Mr. Jay, Miss Jay), and is now having viewers vote. And since they’re filming the next cycle right now, you get to vote now. Voting starts each Monday at 11am PT. Enjoy!

What did everyone think of the Awake finale last week? I still have no idea what the fuck happened, and I loved every second of it.

Also in WTF moments: Did you see the What Not to Wear live season premiere? Ummm … that was terrible. Stacy, Clinton, I love you. Sooo much. But that was insane.

Are you guys watching Duets? It seems like you aren’t. The ratings dropped 12 percent from last week, from a 1.7 rating to a 1.5 rating (adults 18-49). Looks like ABC’s new “major music series” isn’t as major as they’d hope it to be. I’m kinda sad about it because I find all the judges totally likeable. John Legend, Jennifer Nettles, Robin Thicke, and queen Kelly Clarkson? That should be money, no? Sadly, it looks like boring talent, a silly format, and the worst scoring system on the history of reality TV competition shows are really to blame. Although I still point some shade towards robot host Quddus.

Speaking of reality singing competitions no one needed, NBC is launching a new show called The Winner Is, which will feature contestants of all ages performing in head-to-head battles, and then negotiating deals with their opponents to exit the show in exchange for a cash prize before the viewer-voted results come in. There will be a judging panel too, composed of yet-to-be-named celebrities who will most certainly outshine everyone else. Expect to see the show on the air this winter or next summer.

Oh, and by the way, that new singing competition means that NBC has cancelled The Sing-Off. Sadface!

In one of the smartest moves of the season, Joanna Garcia has replaced Amy Huberman in NBC’s upcoming Justin Kirk-led Animal Practice. In no offense to Huberman, this is great news, as Joanna is lovely and adorable and I still miss Privileged dearly.

The delightful Anthony Bourdain is ending his Emmy-winning reality series, No Reservations, after it concluded its eighth season this July. But guess what? Bourdain and his producers are launching a new show that’s basically the exact same thing on CNN. Yay?

Hey Private Practice fans. Shit is going down. Because so few of you tuned into the show this season, ABC has dropped the order for next season to just thirteen-episodes. They’ve also fired Tim Daly. Oh, and Kate Walsh is apparently leaving after this season. Which, effectively, means there won’t be a next season. Better be prepared to say goodbye!

Sad about Private Practice? Well there’s another medical show you should be watching anyway – Nurse Jackie. Showtime’s hit series is brilliant and amazing and just got renewed for its fifth season. Woohoo!

And now for our weekly feature I like to call “Showrunner Shakeup.” Good news, Dan Harmon and Theresa Rebeck. You’re not the only ones to lose your showrunner jobs this year. Seems like Whitney’s showrunner Betsy Thomas has been replaced by Friends scribe Wil Calhoun. Nurse Jackie showrunners Linda Wallem and Liz Brixius have been replaced by Clyde Phillips. And CougarTown’s showrunners Bill Lawrence and Kevin Biegel have been replaced by Ric Swartzlander. Eeek.

It’s almost Emmys time, which means networks and producers are furiously working to figure out which stars they’ll submit for which categories. But bad news for actors going for lead and supporting actor/actress in a miniseries. The TV Academy has decided to merge those two categories. I wouldn’t want to be the one going up against Jessica Lange

Finally, in “The Best News Ever,” Toddlers and Tiaras standout “Honey Boo-Boo Child” Alana Thompson has been given her own spin-off on TLC. The six-episode series will premiere in August, following Alana’s pageant life and home life in Georgia. And if that news wasn’t enough, let me tell you the name of the series: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. <Drops mic>

NineDaves About NineDaves

NineDaves is a part-time blogger, full-time tweeter, and all-around television-addict who spends way too much time thinking about what his Real Housewives’ opening quote will be. He’s so obsessed with TV, he’s basically like that kid from Willy Wonka. Only gayer.

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