TelevisionBytes: Mad Men, RHONY, Game of Thrones, and more!

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

What a tragic week in television. A Mad Men suicide. A fiery Game of Thrones death. Oh, and Jill Zarin was replaced on The Real Housewives of New York City by a woman with one leg (Okay, maybe that was kind of awesome). Check out the other happenings of the week!

TelevisionBytes

There’s really only one place to start this week, and it of course involves Don Draper. You guys. YOU GUYS. I don’t even know what to say about this week’s episode of Mad Men. I’m completely distraught. Lane was never one of my favorite characters in the first place, but holy shit, I didn’t see that coming. How is Joan going to handle this? Fuck – how is Don going to handle this?  I don’t even know what could possibly happen next. Also, what’s going to happen to Peggy? WHERE IS PEGGY!?!? AHHH!! What are you guys thinking about this season? Are you totally freaking out, like me? Are you practically dying for the finale?

Also leaving me speechless this week? FOX’s awful dating show The Choice. Am I the only one who watched that? Christ, I don’t even know where to start. SYTYCD’s Cat Deeley hosts the six-part series that uses the same “blind audition” technique from NBC’s The Voice (Get it? The titles rhyme!). Only in the place of celebrity judges comes celebrity bachelors. On Thursday’s premiere, we got DJ Pauly D, Romeo, soap star Jason Cook, and some mogul skier named Jeremy Bloom. Maybe it’s cause I’m gay, but I don’t really anything entertaining about a bunch of dudes lusting after ladies like this. It feels annoying and sexist and sooooo 10 years ago.

Oh, and did you see the premiere of the new season of The Real Housewives of New York City? What do you think of the new ladies? Do you miss the old ones? Do you like the old ones who stayed around? Personally, I’m a little worried that the show is going to become the ‘I hate Ramona Singer Show.’ Which, I just don’t want to watch. That three-hour reunion last season is still sitting with me in all kinds of negative ways. And if the Countess is just going to drag all that shit up and bitch about it to the new girls and get them to go against Ramona, then I’m going to give up.

But for every two bad reality show, there’s a good one. And this week, the second season of The Glee Project premiered. Yay! Oxygen’s hit show kept the format the same for the second season, with wannabes singing, dancing, acting, and “inspiring” their way to a spot on Glee. Though this season the contestant quota has been upped from 12 to 14, and the guest mentors are more substantial (episode one gave us Ms. Lea Michele herself), that same ridiculous talent is there. I’ve already made a pretty substantial argument as to why The Glee Project is better than Glee. You won’t want to miss this show this season. Summer TV at it’s best.

I have one thing to say about the Game of Thrones finale: Stop, Drop, and Roll.

The CW has a new reality signing competition coming down the pike, and like The Voice and Duets before them, they’ve got four celebrity recording artists on staff Gloria Estefan, John Rich, Joe Jonas, and Nelly have all signed on for The Next: Fame Is at Your Doorstep – set to premiere later this summer. They’ll travel across the country, find talent, and then immerse themselves into their everyday lives until the live TV sing-offs. Sounds like every other music reality show on TV? Yeah, I agree. But hey – at least we know where Nelly is!

Oh and if you’re going for The Next: Fame Is at Your Doorstep, then a little word of advice: don’t expect that just because you’re on the show, you’ll be a huge recording star. Season one winner Javier Colon just parted ways with his record company. As he told Buddy TV, “The unfortunate part of the situation, however, was the unforeseen bad marriage between the label and I. I went into it with high hopes. But when you pour your heart and soul into a new album that you think is really great, and your label who is supposed to support, market and promote your music does neither, it’s really hard not to be upset. The truth is, we are all better off going our separate ways.” Hot damn!

Remember when I told you Andy Samberg was leaving SNL? Well he confirmed it this week. Bye Andy! I look forward to not seeing you in any of your movies anytime soon!

Two weeks ago, producers fired a bunch of actors from ABC’s Private Practice. This week, the axe came down on a few actors from another ABC show: Body of Proof . Seems that when the procedural returns for it’s third season, it’ll be without John Carroll Lynch, Nicholas Bishop, and Sonja Sohan. All three actors, who’ve been with the show since the pilot, have been let go in efforts to cut the show’s budget. Here’s what I don’t understand though: what’s the point? Does ABC really think that without there three minor characters, Body of Proof is suddenly going to become some major hit? Just put it out of its misery already!

Oh, and don’t feel so bad for John Carroll Lynch. After appearing in the pilot, he’s joining NBC’s Do No Harm as a series regular.

Another guest star promoted to series regular for next season? Catherine Tate on The Office. Her unbearable, obnoxious, not-at-all-funny character Nellie will be once again overstaying her welcome over at Dunder Mifflin. But considering they’re losing Mindy Kaling next season too, isn’t it time we all stopped watching?

Also getting jobs this week? Lost’s Jorge Garcia. He’s picked up a guest spot on the sixth season of Showtime’s Californication. He won’t be the only Flight 813 alum on the show. Maggie Grace will also be on the show, for a nine-episode arc. Hurley and Shannon in one place again? Whatever you do, don’t play those numbers.

In other casting news, all-around-badass Mads Mikkelsen has been cast in Hannibal, NBC’s new Hannibal Lector prequel series. Let the nightmares begin!

When NBC announced their fall schedule a few weeks ago, the highly anticipated Munsters reboot Mockingbird Lane was surprisingly nowhere to be found. But don’t worry – it’s not dead. Creators Bryan Fuller (Pushing Daisies) and Bryan Singer (X-Men) needed some extra time to get their cast together. And good news – this week, they found their Herman Munster. Jerry O’Connell will take the role of the Munster family patriarch – a surprising choice if you ask me. Then again, with Eddie Izzard signed on to play Grandpa, do you really it matters who’s playing Herman? Game over – it’s Grandpa’s show!

MTV, meanwhile, is developing a Scream TV show. With or without Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson (no decision has been made yet). Just what nobody wanted! Aren’t you not-at-all-excited?

While we’re on the topic of lost pilots, two big pilots we previously considered dead may see life after all. CBS dropped Rebel Wilson’s Super Fun Night – but now ABC apparently wants it. Of course, they want to change just about everything, including dropping co-stars Jenny Slate and Edi Patterson. They’ll also reedit the show to fit a single-camera format. Seems that Wilson’s turn in Bridesmaids was enough to turn her into a bankable star, at least by ABC’s standards. And while ABC fixes up that show, a show they dropped – Marc Cherry’s Devious Maids – is potentially getting snatched up by Lifetime (I swear, that network loves sloppy seconds!). Maids follows four housekeepers (ScrubsJudy Reyes, Ugly Betty’s Ana Ortiz, Without a Trace’s Roselyn Sanchez, and HeroesDania Ramirez) as they work for rich bitches in Beverly Hills (characters played by Susan Lucci, Mariana Klaveno, and Melrose Place hunk Grant Show). If you ask me, Lifetime would totally win if they grabbed this series. Not only is the cast great, but Cherry (Desperate Housewives, The Golden Girls) is the kind of writer you want on a series like this. And Lifetime could use some more original scripted programming. Unless any of you out there are big Army Wives fans. In which case, I’m sorry. For you.

Louis C.K.’s brilliant, critically acclaimed series Louie returns for a third season this summer on FX. I for one will be depressed when it’s over, but I’ll have something exciting to look forward to: a new FX series called Legit, which stars audacious Australian comedian Jim Jeffries as – who else – a comedian trying to get a hold on his crumbling life. Jeffries holds the distinct pleasure as being one of the few comedians whose comedy has almost made me pee my pants laughing. That’s not that easy! The show will premiere in January.

CBS is doing everything to try and block the premiere of ABC’s Big Brother-like reality show Glass House. So far, nothing. We’ll see if the temporary restraining order they filed on Thursday night gets the somewhere. If not, the show is set to premiere on ABC on June 18.

Finally, because I like leaving on a positive note, how crazy good is the poster for the new season of Breaking Bad? July 15! Save the fucking date!

Breaking Bad

NineDaves About NineDaves

NineDaves is a part-time blogger, full-time tweeter, and all-around television-addict who spends way too much time thinking about what his Real Housewives’ opening quote will be. He’s so obsessed with TV, he’s basically like that kid from Willy Wonka. Only gayer.

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