Despite the fact that Will.i.am writes songs in the same way a wrecking ball builds homes, people not only continue to listen to his music, but apparently, he can’t even remember the goddamn lyrics. Seriously. In all fairness, it’s incredibly difficult to remember “rock your body, rock your body, rock your body”.

The Black Eyed Peas ringleader recently performed live on French TV show Taratata and the rapper resorted to using his cellphone to read lyrics for the act’s latest single, “Don’t Stop The Party.” To be fair, Black Eyed Peas were attempting a mash-up of Belgian rapper’s Stromae’s 2009/2010 European smash “Alors On Dance” with “Don’t Stop The Party,” but as soon as the Stromae portion of the live performance ended and the Black Eyed Peas’ portion began, will.i.am can be seen clearly cheating at around the one minute mark of a You Tube clip popular in Paris this week via using his cellphone to read lyrics. SOURCE

Yes, yes, I know, there’s a video that comes with that clearly shows this, but I’m of the belief that posting a Black Eyed Peas song for the public to listen to is nothing less than a hate crime. I love you all too much to subject you to that sort of crap. I mean, if you really need to hear them sing live, you could just throw some cutlery into a blender and throw it down some stairs. Then just loop the sound over and over for five straight minutes with some farts and a drum beat in the background. Boom, you have Tween Core.

Good news, everyone! Will.I.Am‘s hearing has apparently been restored, and he now realizes how much his song, My Humps, totally blows ass and has agreed to never play it again. Actually, the real reason is that he doesn’t feel the song is “lyrically” up to his standards, which sounds like a legitimate answer until you realize he really only hates one line of the song and not, you know, the entire goddamn thing.

He tells MTV.com, “Before … it was like, ‘We know we gotta play (hit songs) Pump It and Let’s Get It Started. We used to do Let’s Get It Started at the end, because that was our big finale, which didn’t really make sense. And for a while, (we did) My Humps and then it got to the point where we didn’t want to play My Humps no more. You know, ’cause ‘I met a girl down at the disco’ – I just didn’t want to say that no more, lyrically. It wasn’t like my best lyrically. But it was fun. It wasn’t lyrical miracles, but the beat was rocking, so we throw the beat in there and just let the beat linger.” SOURCE

… What in the fuck does that last sentence even mean? That wasn’t a phrase, that was the English language giving up on life. But I digress, back on point here: This song is awful and it’s a damn good thing someone finally put the thing out of its misery. Just to put how terrible this song is into perspective, they once played My Humps to a room full of deaf people. The last words they ever signed were “You will burn forever for this, Black Eyed Peas.”