Jose Canseco: The new Charlie Sheen?

While everyone else was busy freaking out over Kim Kardashian possibly running to be the Mayor of Glendale, or Amanda Bynes slowly turning into Lindsay Lohan‘s messy doppelgänger, former MLB player Jose Canseco decided to make a public splash via yet another bizarre meltdown on Twitter, after he was caught sending flirty (and creepy) direct messages. Basically, imagine Charlie Sheen, only instead of intelligence and drugs, Jose has aimless anger and an Internet connection.

• 11:15a.m.: “Slap a hater ,can’t wait to confront you haters face to face on my website .”

• 11:21a.m.: “Class in session will be part of the site ,I will teach you morons everything about life .because most of you have no life only me .I complete you”

• 11:26a.m.: “Wake up disfunctional world time to play.won’t you be my neighbor”

• 11:29a.m.: “Welcome to my world ,coming soon .hahahaha”

• 11:29a.m.: “Welcome to my nightmare ,come on in”

• 11:31a.m.: “I am going to drag all you haters with me into my nightmare”

• 11:32a.m.: “Welcome to earth”

• 11:33a.m.: “I am here I a simple mission to slap a hater and complete you”

• 11:46a.m.: “Haters look in the mirror now do me a favor and slap yourself”

• 12:04p.m.: “Slap a hater then hug him right after”

• 12:30p.m.: “I am a part of all of you .the good the bad and the ugly”

• 12:55p.m.: “I am getting bored can anyone say something funny and original .”

• 1:05p.m.: “If god was a man and we are created in his image then why dl we look so different and what are woman”

• 1:32p.m.: “So if half my followers love me and half hate me who is right ,I think we have a war about to begin”

• 1:38p.m.: “Life is terrifying and funny”

Too late, Jose (re: 11:31a.m.). I just watched Courtney Stodden‘s YouTube show. I’m already there, bitch.

Jose Canseco

[SOURCE]

Nicki Minaj deleted her Twitter account!

To be honest, I kind of figured that Twitter feuds were really only for indie musicians and gay porn stars! Am I the only one who would pay to see Jayden Grey and Wavves get into a bitch fit? Make this happen, Internet. Yet every once in a while, a mainstream star will get into a snit, as demonstrated by Nicki Minaj who deleted her Twitter account after a fan site was accused of leaking her music. MTV reports:

The Barbz have gone mad. On Sunday (April 15), Nicki Minaj deactivated her Twitter account leaving millions of her fans and followers awaiting her comeback– but that may not happen. After getting into a Twitter tiff with some of her followers, Nicki pulled the plug on her account. “Like seriously, its but so much a person can take. Good fucking bye,” she wrote. before vanishing from the social networking site.

Minutes before, Nicki had vowed to get rid of the account after she blocked a fan site that she accused of posting leaked music. The offending site, NickiDaily.com is also down, stripped of all of it’s content with only the word “closed” posted. Instead of their Barbie-related content, the site just plays the somber sounding Dear Old Nicki in a loop. The track which appeared on Minaj’s 2010 debut is rather appropriate. On it she raps to her former self: “And tell me that you coming back that you just took a break/Maybe I blamed you for everything, that was my mistake.”

All right, here’s the thing: I know people really love getting stuff for free and all. That being said, if you’re going to be a fan of someone’s music and kiss their ass, it might be best if you didn’t, oh I don’t know, steal their stuff. It’s basic courtesy on that one: If you really like an artist, don’t take all their shit and put it on the web for millions of people to grab for free.

Nicki Minaj

Frances Bean: Twitter should ban my mother!

We’ve seen a recent rise in the amount of crazy that Courtney Love has allowed to spill out of her head, either because she fired the one person reigning her in and keeping her from posting insane libel on the web, or everyone around just decided that it would be hilarious to give someone who destroyed their brains with drugs an open mic. Anyway, after she accused Dave Grohl of sleeping with her daughter Frances Bean Cobain because of some sort of weird psycho-sexual thing for Kurt Cobain, Frances went on the record to ask Twitter to ban her mom for being crazy. Billboard reports:

Frances Cobain is calling for a Twitter ban on mother Courtney Love after a Wednesday rant that alleged Dave Grohl had made a pass at the 19-year-old.

“While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn,” Cobain said in a statement. “I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way.  I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother.”

As much as I think Frances Bean has a point in wanting her Mom to stop spreading lies about her, I don’t think she can really have Twitter ban her mother for being crazy. Hell, if you banned crazy people from Twitter, I think you’d have all of 1,000 people left. And then how would I be able to watch indie musicians, drag queens and gay porn stars fight with each other over the web? I couldn’t. And that would be terrible.

Frances Bean Cobain and Courtney Love

Don’t leave Courtney Love alone with a keyboard!

Stop me if you heard this one: Someone let Courtney Love have an Internet connection, and then she used it to spray batshit all over Twitter. This time, instead of accusing Kermit the Frog of raping her, she’s now claiming that Dave Grohl had sex with her daughter, Frances Bean, because he had a crush on Kurt Cobain. See what I mean? Bat. Shit. Gawker reports:

Last night on her private Twitter account @cbabymichelle, Courtney Love accused 43-year-old Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl of putting the moves on 19-year-old Frances Bean Cobain, whom she claims went home with Grohl. “He had that romney rape thing about him,” she mysteriously concludes about the “gross old man macking on Kurt Cobain’s only child.” Courtney has a longstanding beef with Grohl, whom she accuses of wasting Nirvana’s money and riding Kurt Cobain’s coattails. He also knew Frances when she was a baby. Courtney aired the story to @cbabymichelle’s 795 followers last night, interspersed with rage tweets about Frances’ boyfriend and rambling tweets about Buddhism.

UPDATE: Dave Grohl has responded to Love’s accusations in a statement: “Unfortunately Courtney is on another hateful Twitter rant. These new accusations are upsetting, offensive and absolutely untrue.”

Once again: KIDS. See this? See all of this? THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,  EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER DO DRUGS. EVER. Also because they’re dangerous and they can kill you.

Courtney Love and Dave Grohl

Betty White is on Twitter now!

It’s a bit of a slow news day, so what the hell, here’s everyone’s favorite Golden Girl, the legendary Betty White making her debut on Twitter. Feel free to follow her if you want. It’s not exactly hard, since she’s 90 and moves at a snail’s pace, God bless her!

  • Hello Twitter! And they said it would never happen. Oh wait, that was me.
  • My new show “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” airs 8 PM tomorrow on NBC… I’m new at this… ;)
  • Hey @RyanSeacrest – my new show airs tomorrow and I hear we’re in the same time slot. I’ve always dreamed of sharing a night with you…

Oh gosh, Ryan Seacrest? Ewww. Betty, you can do way better than that!

Betty White

Beliebers want you to unfollow Lady Gaga

Because people still care way too much about how many people follow and read their 140-character missives, Justin Bieber fans have launched a campaign to ensure that Justin is the most followed person on Twitter instead of Lady Gaga by urging people to unfollow Gaga. Yes, this is a thing that is really happening. No, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Page Six reports:

“To all beliebers this is operation unfollow Lady Gaga,” the typo-ridden message reads. “I’m sorry if your a ‘little monster’ but don’t ou want Justin to be #1 followed on Twitter? Well here is the plan we all know that all beliebers with twitter follow Justin and we don’t have to ceate a million accounts with this plan. First, it’s simple to lok up Lady Gaga on Twitter. Next unfollow her. Simple! I’m not trying to trash Gaga or anything I am a fsan of her music but I think Justin should be #1 followed on Twitter! That’s all but believers please spread the word for me okay? Thank you all that helped!”

Bieber fans even created a hashtag dedicated to this mission: #OperationUnfollowGaga.

The campaign went into its most active phase yesterday, which happened to be Gaga’s birthday. The popularity of the #OperationUnfollowGaga tag led Lady Gaga fans to post responses like, “Really Beliebers? That’s pathetic.”

Just a quick FYI here, but these are the people who will one day be in charge of the world and who will have to maintain peace and balance. And they’re waging a Twitter battle over two pop stars who won’t be relevant in about ten years. Mike Judge was completely right about the whole Idiocracy thing.

Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber

Kim Kardashian thinks she isn’t dumb!

One of the most important things my mother ever taught me growing up is that stupid people have no idea that they’re stupid, and that it was the job of the non-stupid to mock them until they took their heads out of their asses and stopped being dummies. Which is why Jon Hamm had to break it to both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton that they are stupid: if they were left to their own devices, they would have never learned! Except famewhore Kim is a delusional moron, so of course she’s still under the assumption that she’s a smart, hard-working girl when in fact she’s a stupid, lazy bitch. As evidenced by the fact that she posted this on Twitter:

I just heard about the comment Jon Hamm made about me in an interview. I respect Jon and I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that not everyone takes the same path in life. We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another. Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, “stupid,” is in my opinion careless

HAHAHAHAHA – oh gosh, she’s serious. Does she actually think she’s an intelligent person? Oh sweetie, no. You’re not. You fell out of a rich vagina, and were then coddled to the point where you became willing to do whatever your pimp of a mother told you to do, so then you released a sex tape, pretended you didn’t, and now all you do is act out a fake reality TV show while people do all the work for you while you rake in the credit and fame. Yes, we should all respect one another, but the operative word in that sentence is should. If you not only don’t respect yourself, but you do nothing that would warrant any sort of respect, then how in the hell do you expect people to respect you?

Oh, and in case you’re wondering about Paris: so far, she hasn’t said a word. Either she’s accepted the fact that she’s stupid, or she tried to write an angry letter, became confused by all the letters on her keyboard, and went back to patrolling the waters of Amity Beach.

Kim Kardashian

Patricia Heaton sounds just lovely

I’m not sure if you heard about this, but there’s this little debate about women’s contraception raising that could be one of those make-or-break moments for sexual liberation. Maybe you’ve been following it. We can’t, because we’re a gossip blog, so covering a serious issue would sort of be like if Sesame Street hosted a roundtable discussion on nuclear proliferation: It’s not that we can’t, it’s just that we need to try and maintain something of a steady tone here. Anyway, Patricia Heaton, who you might recognize as the joyless shrew on every sitcom ever, decided to get in the debate by publicly slut-shaming Sandra Fluke, and much like Rush Limbaugh before her, was promptly raked over the coals by the public before apologizing on Twitter:

Just caught up on all the debater re Ms. Fluke’s testimony. Mea culpa! We have diff opinions but I was too flippant in my attempt at humor.

re @SandraFluke Mea culpa Sandra! Wasn’t being respectful 2 u re my tweets as I hope people wd b w/me. Don’t like you being dissed -so sorry

Tweatons: Finally heard all the commentary. I crossed the line w/@SandraFluke. Don’t agree w/her views, but I was not showing Christ’s love.

Well, considering that Jesus hung out with prostitutes and treated them like people and only really spoke out against hypocrites pharisees, then yeah, I’d say you weren’t exactly being Christly, no. In fact, I’d almost say that you were being … oh, what’s that word again … hypocritical? Oh yes, that’s it, hypocritical. That thing Jesus spoke out against? Yeah, that.

Patricia Heaton

Chris Brown responded to Miranda Lambert on Twitter

So after Miranda Lambert fired a round of justified criticism at him on Twitter, Chris Brown decided to respond to her on Twitter exactly the way you thought he would … well, actually he didn’t trap her in a car and repeatedly punch and bite her face then leave her for dead, so I guess it wasn’t exactly the way you thought he would.

@ChrisBrown: Using my name to get publicity? I love it! Perform your heart out!

@ChrisBrown: Go buy @miranda_lambert album! So motivational and “PERFECT”!

So yeah, Chris was a whiny, passive-aggressive little bitch on Twitter because someone didn’t like how he nearly beat a woman he claimed to love nearly to death. Shocker? Bitch, you’re a public figure, and all your actions are too, and like it or not but people are going to hold you accountable for the shit you do. That’s the cost of being rich and famous. And if you think you can just beat a woman and everyone is going to let you sweep it under the rug because you did the bare minimum to redeem yourself while learning nothing from your actions, you’re a fucking idiot.

Miranda Lambert

Links: Jennifer Lopez gets sexy with Casper!


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