Meet Twilight’s Chuckesmee … creepiest doll ever!

Chuckesmee

I've been going back on forth whether to post this piece for the better part of a day now. The "for" argument being that it gives me another chance to sh!t on those awful Twilight movies again, and the "against" argument being that the last one came out over a year ago and now the series is no longer relevant. That being said, I just wrote the most depressing post I've ever written for this site, so here comes the levity! Apparently, Breaking MORE

Oh yeah, The Razzies were last night too …

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2

Every year, The Razzies take place right before the Oscars, as a means of pointing out the absolute worst crap that Hollywood decided to foist upon us. To the surprise of no one, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 managed to sweep up, winning seven out of ten awards. Via VeryAware ... Worst Picture: BREAKING DAWN PT.2 Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart for SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNSTMAN & BREAKING DAWN PT.2 Worst Actor: Adam Sandler MORE

‘Twilight’ star Bronson Pelletier peed on LAX’s floor

Bronson Pelletier

A little while back, the story broke of Twilight actor Bronson Pelletier -- he plays "Jared" if that means anything to anyone -- getting massively wasted and peeing on the floor of LAX before getting arrested. Originally, we didn't bother posting it because who is Bronson Pelletier? Except now we have video of him whipping out his dangly bits (slightly NSFW) and peeing all over the rug while security politely waits behind him to arrest him. MORE

Robert Pattinson on Team Edward vs. Team Jacob

Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson

Back when those damnable Twilight movies first came out, every impressionable girl out there had either a Team Edward or Team Jacob shirt, because nothing says "I'm going to grow up to have mature, fulfilling relationships!" like forcing a completely personality-devoid female character to choose between two emotionally manipulative monsters. Anyway, in an interview with Yahoo! Movies, actor Robert Pattinson went on the record to tell everyone MORE

Kristen Stewart got booed!

Kristen Stewart

Oh, how I cannot wait until this week is over so I don't have to write about freaking Twilight again, but we're still two days away, so just ... bear with me. Anyway, last night was the Hollywood Press Screening for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, which HuffPo's Mike Ryan decided to live blog for the sake of milking something good out of the whole thing. The highlight of the night's awkwardness came when an audience member booed Kristen Stewart MORE

Taylor Lautner on ‘Breaking Dawn 2′ imprinting

Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart

If you haven't read Twilight: Breaking Dawn yet, then slight spoiler alert ahead: at one point in the story, Taylor Lautner's werewolf character Jacob Black "imprints" on Bella Swan's baby girl Renesmee Cullen, which means he would basically act as a father figure for her until she's old enough for him to bang. Totally not weird and creepy at all! Anyway, in an interview with Hit Fix, Taylor talked about the scene, saying that it was a "touchy MORE

Ashley Greene on Kristen Stewart’s scandalous affair

Ashley Greene

You know the story: Boy meets girl on the set of a terrible movie. Boy and girl fall in studio mandated Love™ (Love™ being a wholly owned trademark of the Monsanto company.) Girl cheats on boy with the married director of her movie. Boy and girl break up. Studio realizes that movie featuring a horribly unhealthy relationship can't be sold to impressionable young women without the staged real-life romance between the leads. Boy and girl MORE

Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart must stick together (for now)

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Remember how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart conveniently got together just in time to promote the final Twilight movie? Well, yeah, about that ... it turns out, it's not so much that they're in love, or willing to move past the incident, so much as they're contractually obligated to promote the movie together. And now it turns out that the producers have gone so far as to book them into separate hotels just to make sure they don't end up MORE

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: Back together?

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Back when news first broke out about how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart broke up, RuPaul posted something on Twitter about how the whole thing was a sham meant to hype the final, terrible Twilight movie. Which was weird, because it seemed like a lot of work to make the stars of their movie look just downright terrible in order to pimp a crappy movie that glorifies weak female characters and unhealthy relationships, but then again, I'm not a MORE

Kristen Stewart is a Trampire!

Kristen Stewart

On the chance you've never met a Twihard, the first thing you should know is that they are INSANE. Seriously, I have an inbox in my email just for angry Twihards calling me a dumb poop-head every time I make fun of their precious sparkly vampires. Yes, one of them actually called me a poop-head. Once again: They read Twilight. Literature is clearly not their strong suit. Anyway, it should be assumed that nothing is off limits to them; if you MORE

Bill Condon: Please respect Kristen Stewart!

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

It's been a couple weeks since everyone found out that Kristen Stewart was totally biting on some married father's lower lip behind Robert Pattinson's back, HOW COULD SHE BREAK EDWARD CULLEN'S HEART, HE LOVES YOU BELLA SWAN EVEN IF HE IS A BORDERLINE EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSIVE VAMPIRE?! Ahem, sorry, I get caught up in books that glorify unhealthy relationships. Anyway, Bill Condon, the director of the upcoming final Twilight Saga MORE

‘Twilight’ Producers: Let’s pretend it didn’t happen!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2

In light of Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson with her director, who happened to be married himself with kids, the question on everyone's mind was "What about The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (November 16th)? WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK ABOUT TWILIGHT?" Well, don't worry, the movie is going to be fine. I mean, one relationship is already broken and another is essentially clinging to life, but at least the movie is still okay! MORE

Fine, FINE. Here’s Breaking Dawn 2’s trailer

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2

The only good thing I have to say about this trailer is that it's the last installment of these movies, so I'm just going to shut up and let you enjoy the trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2, if that's your thi- Wait, what do you mean they're already planning a reboot of the franchise? You can't do that! You can't just re-release a movie from four years ago just so you can squeeze a couple more dollars out of impressionable girls MORE

Breaking Dawn Part 2’s wild child Renesmee

Breaking Dawn Part 2

Entertainment Weekly has the first look at Breaking Dawn 2, the final installment in the sadly unsinkable juggernaut that is the Twilight series. And what better way to end the series than with a baby daughter with the single worst name ever and the adult werewolf that is in romantic love with her? (Yes, continue telling me how this series promotes healthy relationships, I'm all ears!) It’s the beginning of the end. When The Twilight Saga: MORE