EVERYBODY PANIC: It’s M.I.A.’s middle finger!

And now for this year’s contrived faux controversy from the half-time show, brought to you in part by easily offended old people who don’t actually know how real people interact with each other. During the half-time show, M.I.A. — who performed with Madonna along with LMFAO, Nicki Minaj and Cee Lo Green — flipped the bird to the cameras for all of, like, a fraction of a second. Of course, this millisecond of slight offense was enough to enrage the Parents Television Council, the arbiters of cranky old people who want you to get off their damn lawn already, which quickly prompted apologies from everyone and their dogs. RadarOnline reports:

Both the NFL and NBC were quick to issue apologies in the wake of the off-color display, which was seen by more than 110 million viewers on NBC. NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said “the obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans.” NBC spokesman Christopher McCloskey — noting that “the NFL hired the talent and produced the halftime show” — said the network’s “system was late to obscure the inappropriate gesture, and we apologize to our viewers.”

Honestly, I think the more appropriate response to this would have been something along the lines of “blow it out your asses, you goddamn ninnies.” It’s a flash of middle finger for Christ’s sake. Are you that immature that you cannot handle a fleeting glimpse of a solitary finger? God help you if you were to actually go outside and interact with real people, because then you would have to come into contact with people who look and think differently than you. SAVE US, INVISIBLE BEARDED CLOUD GIANT!

M.I.A.

Gisele Bündchen slammed the Patriots!

The Super Bowl was last night in case the deafening media coverage didn’t completely tip you off, and before we delve into this year’s fake half-time show controversy, we have to talk about supermodel Gisele Bündchen. By now you probably know that Gisele is married to Tom Brady, the quarterback of the New England Patriots, and after the New York Giants beat them to win the Super Bowl (sorry, Pats fans) Gisele apparently threw a big ol’ bucket of shade on them. Guess who’s angry about that? TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ, the teammates are “disappointed” Gisele decided to air her grievances after the game last night — when she said, “My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.” According to sources, Tom’s teammates feel betrayed by Gisele’s behavior — the Pats organization is a brotherhood and Gisele’s pot shot violated the code — which is basically … win as a team, lose as a team.

I didn’t actually catch the Super Bowl, mostly because yesterday it was my birthday and I had more important shit to do than to watch a bunch of grown men pass a lump of pig skin back and forth among themselves — which reminds me, did anyone else catch Madonna‘s half-time show? — but I doubt Tom single-handedly carried the team on his own here, and I doubt every single one of his throws was delivered with pinpoint accuracy, so yeah, Gisele may have been talking out of her ass a little bit.

Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady

Watch: Madonna’s Super Bowl performance!

Just in case you missed Madonna‘s incredible twelve-minute performance during the Super Bowl‘s (go Giants!) half-time show earlier today, watch it below! Overall it was hands down the best half-time show ever, from the detailed costumes to the elaborate sets, it was an amazing spectacle that completely blew me away. Let’s also not forget girlfriend is 53 and still appears to be at the top of her game, so to all the haters with their snide little comments, please step aside! I feel bad for whoever will perform next year, it’s bound to disappointing compared to Madge’s performance, she seriously set the bar super high!

I originally thought she got paid to put on that show, yet it turns out the lady wasn’t paid a dime, all the major worldwide press and publicity is payment enough (of course all expenses incurred were covered), especially since she’s about to release her highly-anticipated new album MDNA next month! I’ve been a Madonna fan for almost three decades, when I was eight ( back in 1984) Like A Virgin on vinyl (along with the EurythmicsTouch) was my first music purchase, instantly I became hooked for life. Even if you’re not a fan there’s simply no arguing about her unmatched energy and stamina, she’s a true original, no one is ever going to take her place. Discussions about who could possibly be the next Madonna are completely pointless (sorry Lady Gaga), there will never be anyone quite like her (the same could probably be said about Michael Jackson), I feel blessed to still be a witness to her enduring phenomena!

Madonna - Super Bowl

PHOTO | MADONNARAMA

Mashup: Super Bowl Anthem

Mashup: Super Bowl Anthem

So, did we just feature DJ Schmolli two weeks ago? Why yes, we did. But little did we know he had this little pigskin nugget up his sleeve and on the way! As everyone is buzzing about the Super Bowl this weekend – and by that, we mean Madonna‘s much-hyped, half-time performance – this raucous, multi-artist blend will get you cheering loudly on the sidelines! There’s Madge, of course, along with LMFAO, Reel 2 Reel, House Of Pain, Tag Team and a bunch more. Touchdown! Score!

Download DJ Schmolli‘s Super Bowl Anthem

Enjoy — DJ Paul V.

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PS to my LA peeps: This Saturday, February 4th we present Bootie LA at The Echoplex. And ooh la la, we bring you some French kisses with our guest DJ Reno. I’m DJing along with Bootie creators A+D, plus an 11pm performance from B. Veri, and our fabulous dance crew R.A.I.D. on stage in the Midnight Mashup Show. As a bonus, you can download DJ Reno’s hella great No Doubt vs. Daft Punk mashup here.

Bootie LA

The Black Eyed Peas just ruined music forever!

We’ve already covered a commercial, we briefly mentioned the game, so now it’s time to cover the last part of the Super Bowl: The half-time show. For some reason, they decided to have the Black Eyed Peas perform because … well, actually I haven’t figured that part out. They’re barely listenable in studio, and they actually managed to find a way to auto-tune themselves live. I’ve seen orphaned, amputee puppies less sad than this.

So how did they do last night? Well, they sucked. They sucked in a way I had no idea people could suck. Their performance really only consisted of either shouting, screeching, or having their voices auto-tuned into robotic gobbledygook. I’m not saying that it was the musical equivalent of assault, all I’m saying is that this is what is playing in Ben Roethlisburger‘s head at any given moment.

Black Eyed Peas

Kim Kardashian sluts it up for useless shoes!

Now that we have the actual game out of the way, let’s move on to the things that really matter: Commercials! Wee! Continuing her tradition of selling anything for the sake of money and a few seconds of your precious, precious attention, Kim Kardashian ended up shilling for Skechers Shape-Ups the only way she knows how: By using as much sex appeal as she can pull out of her ass dimples.

The ad in a nutshell: Kim writhes around on the floor and makes a bunch of double-entendres that can be misconstrued as sex, then says she’s ditching her personal trainer because she bought spiffy new Shape-ups! You know, the shoe that says it tones your ass but has actually been proven to be no more beneficial than literally any other pair of running shoes on the market? Yeah, those. She traded in a personal trainer for fake shoes. Of course, in real life I don’t she’s ever actually been in a gym, mostly because the idea of doing actual, physical work instead of just selling things is some sort of foreign concept to her, like men pissing in toilets. Ha ha! Pee doesn’t go in there!

Kim Kardashian

So the Super Bowl happened last night …

Yup, looks like today is the annual post-Superbowl come-down day here on PopBytes, and I couldn’t be more ambivalent about a sport that isn’t even named right (Football? I see no feet or balls. Maybe if they called it Handegg … ) Anyway, the big story, other than the Packers winning which is great if you support teams that don’t feature a sexual predator, is that Christina Aguilera continued to dig her own grave by flubbing the lyrics to the national anthem.

Christina Aguilera has spoken out about her major mistake singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl. In a statement to the AP after the performance, Aguilera said, “I got so lost in the moment of the song that I lost my place. I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.” SOURCE

How the hell do you forget the lyrics to the national anthem? Even I know them, and I was raised in Quebec! In all fairness, it’s hard for Christina to pay attention to anything not covered in chocolate.

Christina’s Son: Mommy, can we go to the playground today?
Christina: Not now baby, Mommy needs a nap.
Christina’s Son: (*Sprays whipped cream on her head*) How about now?
Christina: LEAD THE WAY, DESSERT!

Christina Aguilera

‘Glee’ returns tonight after the Super Bowl!

Who else is excited for the return of Glee tonight after the Super Bowl?! Not only do we get a new episode tonight, there’s another new one airing on Tuesday (February 8th) called Silly Love Songs! Below is a video featuring some of the cast members (my favorite hottie on the show is Chord Overstreet, he’s so damn adorable) talking about their favorite game-day recipes! I’m just going to keep it simple with chips and salsa (and perhaps some red wine).

Glee

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