Ray Rice: Suspended by the NFL–indefinitely!

Ray Rice

Anyone who knows me, even in the passing sense, knows that I have zero knowledge of football. None whatsoever. But I do know that Ray Rice is an jerk who was caught beating his (then-fiancee) wife Janay Palmer–which the NFL basically turned a blind eye to because $$$. Anyway, the good news is that after massive public backlash combined with today's release of a shocking tape showing how the assault went down, Rice has been cut from the Ravens MORE

The NBA is trying to get Donald Sterling to step down

Donald Sterling

Last week, the world was introduced to billionaire and owner of the Los Angeles Clippers Donald Sterling, who is ... just racist on a level I didn't think existed outside of the 1800s. I'm not convinced he isn't an old timey a-hole who found a time machine and used it to be racist in the 21st century. Anyway, after recordings of him being super racist leaked online (via his mistress V. Stiviano, the backlash came swift and hard, and according MORE

Boston Bruins Justin Bieber-proofed their locker room

Justin Bieber

If you know anything about hockey, first off, allow me to congratulate you on being the first straight guy to ever visit this blog! Second, you probably know that hockey teams have this thing about anyone standing on their logo in their locker room. So you could probably understand why the Chicago Blackhawks were justifiably pissed that Justin Bieber stood on their logo to get a picture of the Stanley Cup. Having learned from the pain of others, MORE

Carly Rae Jepsen sucks at pitching!

Carly Rae Jepsen

For some reason, Canadian popstar Carly Rae Jepsen ("Call Me Maybe") was invited to throw the opening pitch at a baseball game over the weekend, and already I'm way over my head in sports, so suffice to say the poor girl kind of blew it. Hard. Which isn't much of a judgment call on my part because I can't throw worth shit. I once tried to pantomime throwing a football during a game of charades with my family (the answer was Varsity Blues) and, no MORE

So the Super Bowl was last night …


Men threw an egg-shaped ball up and down a field a bunch of times until time was up and then someone got shiny metal. AMERICA! Here are all the the little parts that mattered, because like hell am I going to spend energy on this above the bare minimum required: The Baltimore Ravens won 34-31 over the San Francisco 49ers. If that means anything to you, it's probably because you either won or lost a lot of money on it. Although I do have a MORE