Heidi and Spencer are getting their UK TV special?

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

Once upon a time, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were famous, and then they weren't. The End. Except then the U.K. (the people who brought you Katie Price and Geordie Shore) decided they could just import terrible American celebrities and give them another shot at infamy by putting them on Celebrity Big Brother, and lo and behold, Speidi limped out of their grave and back into sorta-relevancy. So now they're getting their own one-off TV special MORE

Why did Heidi and Spencer spend all their money?

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

Back when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were still relevant, they went through what I affectionately call their "crazy phase," where they basically blew millions of dollars on healing crystals, pretended they were military heroes, and spent all their time trying to convince people not to get tattoos because they were a sign of the apocalypse. So it shouldn't be too surprising that they also believed in the Mayan apocalypse, and ended up blowing MORE

Heidi and Spencer faked sex on ‘Celebrity Big Brother’

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

When we last left Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, they were banished to a cold dark basement by complete strangers and Spencer was acting like a douchebag. Basically, the universe was as it should be. Anyway, because nothing brings in the page views like a sex tape, even if it's a sex tape by useless nobodies -- Hello, Octomom! -- Spencer and Heidi figured that there was no better place to make another fake sex tape than on Celebrity Big MORE

Did someone hack Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag?

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

When we last left vapid reality famewhores Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, they had been banished to live in the cold, dark basement of the Celebrity Big Brother house (in the UK) like the inbred monster children they are. Except somehow, Spencer either got his hands on a phone or someone hacked into his Twitter account, because someone is currently douching it up on Twitter under the guise of Spencer and his magical flesh-coloured MORE

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back!

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

For those of you who weren't around a couple years back, when Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (aka Speidi) were ever present on gossip blogs despite the fact that they did literally nothing, let me sing you the song of their people: Once upon a time, Heidi and Spencer were on an MTV reality show. They realized they would get more camera time the worse they were, so they spent all their time being terrible, to the point where Spencer actually MORE

Heidi Montag is booking gigs at strip clubs

Heidi Montag

Oh heck, we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later, right? Heidi Montag, or at the very least, the shrieking collection of meat and silicone that stole her face, has finally decided to start booking gigs at strip clubs. Granted, only as a hostess, but still, I'm sure if you stick a couple quarters in the coin slot located on her neck, she'll probably start rocking back and forth like one of those child-sized metal rocket ships outside MORE

Heidi Montag is writing an autobiography!

Heidi Montag

A couple years ago, Heidi Montag wrote a book with Spencer Pratt, which was about as well-received as a letter full of anthrax. Of course, Heidi Montag hasn't learned anything from that, because she's decided that she's going to dig herself out of the bottomless grave of debt she put herself in by writing an autobiography. I hope she knows that being able to spell out her own name on the "fridgerator" using letter magnets does not constitute MORE

Heidi and Spencer aren’t broke, so say Heidi and Spencer

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

Earlier this week, reports surfaced that famewhores Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were flat broke and couldn't get any work because they never paid their agents. Except now Heidi and Spencer are claiming that they still have money and that they totally aren't in any sort of debt at all because they never had agents to begin with! Which makes total sense when you remember that this is Heidi and Spencer and lying is what they do when they're bored MORE

Everyone hates Spencer Pratt!

Spencer Pratt

When we last left Spencer Pratt, he and plastic wife Heidi Montag were broke (HA), living in their parents' pool house (DOUBLE HA) and they both basically looked like fifty-year-olds who realized that everything they would ever accomplish was years ago (SCHADENFREUDIAN HA). Anyway, it gets better: according the Us Weekly, it turns out Spencer can't find work now because the only skill on his resume is "terrible human being", he also screwed his MORE

(Most of) Heidi Montag turned 25!

Heidi Montag

Can you believe famewhore Heidi Montag turned 25 over the weekend? Well, some of her anyway. Her tits are three, her lips are two, her back scoop is four … point is, legally her birthday was this weekend and legally she’s 25 years old. And she looks like hell. Good to know that those thousands and thousands of dollars worth of cosmetic surgery weren’t a complete waste, as long as she wanted to look like a bloated 45-year-old MORE

Heidi and Spencer: We’re broke and awful!

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag

When we last left Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, they were probably doing ... something. I don't know. It probably involved the two of them lying in order to remain tethered to last fading tatters of their relevance, which I'm not going to lie, has sort of become a running theme with most of the people we make fun of here. Anyway, they somehow managed to land an interview with The Daily Beast, where they pretty much openly admit that everything MORE

Sparah vs. Speidi: You’re kidding, right?

Speidi vs. Sparah

So remember how Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag got mad at Virgin Mobile's latest ad campaign for Sparah because they felt like they copied their bit about being a fake, loveless celebrity couple staying together for the publicity? Well, Sparah answered back, saying that they're not even going to bother fighting because pedo-beard and franken-tits barely count as celebrities, or even people, and because THEY'RE AN AD CAMPAIGN. As we previously MORE

Spencer Pratt is still a colossal dumbass!

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

So you know that Sparah ad campaign that Virgin Mobile is running about a fake celebrity couple they've created? Well apparently, Spencer Pratt thinks they're ripping him off and are now demanding that they pay up for using his idea. Yeah, great way to tell the public that you and your wife don't actually love each other and are only staying together for the publicity, numb nuts. If you haven't seen the commercials ... Virgin Mobile's new ad MORE

Spencer Pratt: Banned from another reality show!

Spencer Pratt

It takes a lot of work to be such an annoying famewhore that you get kicked off the set of a reality television show made of nothing but famewhores, but Spencer Pratt has found a way: He's been banned from the set of his franken-whore wife Heidi Montag's new TV show by the producers, presumably after realizing he was Spencer and no one wants to be around him for fear of people thinking they're associated with a child molestor. Sources MORE