Oh look, Scott Disick covered one of the Kardashians in money. Isn’t he swell?

Scott Disick and Khloe Kardashian

Dear Scott Disick, I see you enjoy flaunting your wealth by covering things in money, even though I have no idea what you do for a living. If I had to guess: tertiary character on a horrible reality TV show? Am I close? Just say warm or cold, I'll do the guesswork here. Well, while I appreciated your fondness for the American dollar, I should probably tell you: Sometimes, I imagine you being kicked to death by a horse and it makes me feel MORE

Watch: Kanye’s recreation of ‘American Psycho’ scene

Kanye West

Last week, we reported that Kanye West redid a scene from American Psycho to promote his new album, Yeezus. Well, the video is here and it's so gawddamn awful it makes me want to sh!t myself. Who would have thought that hiring two talentless people associated with the Kardashians wouldn't pan out in the end? On the plus side, it does give us the opportunity to watch Jonathan Cheban, the greasy, vaguely human-shaped dumpling that serves as Kim MORE

Kanye West made a video w/ Scott Disick & Jonathan Cheban

Kanye West, Scott Disick and Jonathan Cheban

Kanye West is calling his upcoming new album Yeezus (June 18th) because he wants you to think he's an artist (read: shameless attention whore) and decided to drive that point home by recreating that one scene from America Psycho where Bale repaints his apartment with Jared Catalano's grey matter. So basically, lazy plagiarism thinly veiled as "reference" is now artistic. Super. In case you needed any more proof that this is going to be a MORE

Scott Disick wants Kourtney Kardashian to lose weight

Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian

Because today's theme is apparently "stupid, misogynist a-holes saying horrible things," Scott Disick reportedly told his girlfriend and baby mama Kourtney Kardashian that she needed to lose weight faster after her pregnancy, because Scott is literally that guy from American Psycho. Kourtney needs to DTMFA before he drops a chainsaw on her from atop a stairwell while ranting about obscure 80's bands. RadarOnline reports ... “Last time MORE

Here’s the 2012 Kardashian Kristmas Kard!

The Kardashians

Some of you might remember a little while ago when Kim Kardashian's ex-cat, Mercy, suddenly died after she gave it away. Well, the brand new Kardashian Kristmas Kard -- The hard-C is the family's mortal enemy -- has made its way onto the internet, and the creepiest part is that they somehow found it appropriate to include a picture of Mercy, looking the most miserable I have ever seen a kitten look before. From Us Weekly ... The card features MORE

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are not engaged

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

On paper, you would figure that a story about Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick finally getting engaged would be true, because Kris Jenner needs to fill some air time on E! with another contrived wedding special. But here's Kim Kardashian claiming that the story is completely untrue, because hey, if there's one person who knows fake weddings put together for publicity, it's Kim! Via TMZ ... Kim Kardashian may be a scaredy-cat when it comes MORE

Kris Jenner wants Kourtney to get married on TV too

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

Thus far, both Kim Kardashian and Khloé Kardashian have gotten married for the sake of putting together a crappy reality TV. And in all fairness, it's worked out super well, in that Kim immediately got divorced and everyone realized what a horrible fake she is. Well, Kris Jenner is now trying to recreate that magic by trying to get Kourtney Kardashian to do a shot-gun reality TV wedding! I know, how romantic. RadarOnline reports ... "[Kris] MORE

Kourtney Kardashian filmed her baby’s delivery for TV

Kourtney Kardashian

I remember about a year ago when Kim Kardashian ended her big fake sham wedding, I was talking with my mother when she said something along the lines of "Well, at this point the only way they could get worse is if one of them pulled a baby out of their vagina on TV." Well, Kourtney Kardashian went ahead and filmed her baby's birth, which actually involved her pulling her daughter out of her vagina with her own hands. The lesson learned in all of MORE

Kourtney Kardashian gave birth!

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

In the wee hours of yesterday morning, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick were proud to welcome a new magazine cover baby (I meant baby) into the world. Penelope Scotland Disick, their beautiful baby girl, will have a wonderful life with caring parents, assuming they're able to keep her as far away from Kris Jenner as they possibly can. Most kids check their closet and under their bed for the boogeyman; these ones make sure grandma isn't MORE

5 Things Wrong with the Kardashian Kristmas Kard!

The Kardashian Kristmas Kard

Because it wouldn't be Christmas without the Kardashians releasing an off-putting Christmas card while bastardizing the English language with enough K's to make a white supremacist jizz in his pants, here's the 2011 version of the family's Kristmas Kard. I actually thought this was originally a still from American Horror Story, but then I realized that no one was dead (sadly) so clearly that wasn't the case. Oh well ... here are five things wrong MORE

Kourtney Kardashian vs. Teen Mom

Farrah Abraham and Kourtney Kardashian

Mark it down on your calendars, people: December 5th, 2011 will go down in history as the day that pop culture, having already devoured itself, began to poop itself back out again. After Kourtney Kardashian announced her brand new TV special-- oops, I meant baby. Which she had for a TV special --Farrah Abraham from Teen Mom went on Twitter and called her out for using a baby and a relationship to get on television, which erupted in a good ol' MORE

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again!

Kourtney Kardashian

So somewhere between Kim Kardashian doing the whole "wah, no one wants to impregnate me" and Daniel Craig calling out the Kardashians for turning the birthing process into a TV special, here's news of Kourtney Kardashian's new pregnancy. And if you don't think that we won't be seeing Kourtney's Fairytale Paycheck - Oops! We Mean Baby on E! this June, did you know that cyanide is actually magic cake? It's true! Us Weekly reports: "Now I'm nine MORE

Kristin Cavallari didn’t bang Scott Disick!

Kristin Cavallari and Scott Disick

So a couple days ago, Scott Disick didn't show up with the rest of the Kardashians to a taping of Dancing with the Stars (does it confuse anyone else as to how the hell Rob Kardashian even made it to the final three? He's this season's Bristol Palin, I'm tellin' ya.) and everyone assumed that it was because he was rumored to have had an affair with Kristin Cavallari while he and Kourtney Kardashian were on break. Except Kristin says the entire MORE

Kim Kardashian’s fake wedding was scripted by E!

Kim Kardashian

Yeah, I know, quelle surprise. So it turns out that just in case anyone got the idea that there was even a single, tiny trace of genuine human emotion in the proceedings, E! pretty much went ahead and scripted Kim Kardashian's entire fake whore wedding according to TMZ, right down to an exchange between Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick hinting at yet another fake whore wedding because money > love. So much >. While Kim Kardashian and MORE