Demi Moore is exhausted!

So the other night, Demi Moore was reportedly rushed to the hospital with what her people were trying to spin as “exhaustion”, which everyone read and thought “Sooo … basically drugs then?” Well it turns out, that’s exactly what happened, because sources close to the story are claiming that she was actually rushed in with everything from drug overdoses, anorexia, and seizures. To be fair, I’d be exhausted after all that too. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement tells us a 911 call was placed at 10:45 PM Monday night. Paramedics responded to Demi’s L.A. home and after assessing her for a half hour, she was transported to a local hospital. Sources tell us she is being placed in a facility to “seek further professional assistance.” Our sources say the treatment is for substance abuse. Demi’s rep tells TMZ, “Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends.”

Look, we wish Demi and her family all the best right now, but come on … let’s just call it what it is here. No one’s going to judge you for being under stress and wanting to get better if you honestly want to make the effort to improve. I just hate it when celebrity reps use the term “exhaustion” when they mean just about anything else.

Demi Moore

Brooke Mueller’s not taking her drug trip to Mexico!

Remember how Brooke Mueller was supposed to be taking a trip down to Mexico to cure her addiction to illegal drugs by taking even more illegal drugs? Well, it turns out that Brooke had to axe her plans because she doesn’t have a passport. See kids? That’s why you need to not do drugs ever.

“Brooke made it to the gate with her doctor, who was going to accompany her, but the airline staff wouldn’t let her board the plane. Brooke is going to get an emergency passport on Wednesday, and hopes to leave for Mexico as soon as she gets the new one,” a source close to the situation tells us. Mueller recently relapsed, after completing a 45 day outpatient program. Ibogaine is considered a hallucinogen, and has dangerous side effects. SOURCE

Here’s a thought: go to REAL rehab, work on what part of your life lead you to try and eat crystal meth for breakfast, then avoid anyone or anything in your life that might cause you to relapse instead of, oh I don’t know, going to Mexico to take drugs. But of course, (probably because of her ex-hubby Charlie Sheen) Brooke is a celebrity drug addict (seriously: she doesn’t have any other job but that) so by all means, keep that crack pipe warm, sweetheart!

Brooke Mueller

Brooke Mueller is a genius!

Pop quiz everyone! Let’s say you have a gigantic addiction to every drug know to man, including a few forms of bleach, and you want to get rid of it. Do you:

(A) Check yourself into a rehab clinic and focus on what lead you to your drug problems?

(B) Take a trip down to a Mexican rehab clinic so that you can take an illegal hallucinogenic drug that they say will cure you of your addiction?

If you answered B, congratulations! You’re Brooke Mueller and you’re a fucking idiot.

Mueller left around 7:40 a.m., with her personal physician, who will oversee her treatment in Mexico. Mueller has decided to proceed with an addiction program that isn’t legal in the U.S. Mueller will be taking ibogaine, which is supposed to stop cravings for drugs. Many U.S. medical experts concur about the dangers associated with ibogaine and the hallucinogen is classified as a Controlled Substance in the U.S. Ibogaine is approved in other countries, however, including Mexico, Canada, and elsewhere for the treatment of drug addicts. SOURCE

You have to give credit where credit is due: It’s really hard to go to Mexico in order to take illegal hallucinogenic drugs while saying with a straight face that it’s for your personal health, and yet Brooke has somehow found a way to do it. Is that what meth does to your brain? Because I thought this was the exact opposite of what meth does to a person’s brain.

Brooke Mueller

Amy Winehouse heads back to rehab … again!

Despite recently being photographed looking pretty damn good, it looks like Amy Winehouse is heading back to rehab. Again. One more and I’m pretty sure she gets a free Subway sandwich. Anyway, it all went down yesterday morning after Amy downed a mini-bottle of vodka, wandered into a salon and puked in their bathroom. Or didn’t. I’m not sure, the details are a little hazy.

The Sun is reporting that a bedraggled Winehouse was seen downing a miniature bottle of vodka at the liquor counter of a shop in London on Thursday morning, just before checking in for treatment at a rehab center. An eyewitness recalled the troubled singer’s condition in the store. “She seemed out of it. She was stumbling about, slurring her words.

“The person continued, “I was shocked to see her buy vodka so early in the day, and even more shocked to see her knock it straight back.” Just minutes later the 27-year-old singer, dressed in a tracksuit and sporting her trademark beehive hairdo, stormed into the restroom of a nearby hair salon. After using the facilities, she reportedly told the staff, “I just puked all over your bathroom.” However, Winehouse’s spokesman denied that the singer threw up at the salon and said that the singer’s comment was a joke. The spokesman also added, “Amy’s embarked on treatment at The Priory [a rehab center].” SOURCE

You know, it’s times like this I really wish I could come up with some sort of joke. Dammit, if only Amy had released an incredibly catchy and well-known song about her entering a treatment facility for her drug and alcohol abuse problems which I could reference for comedic effect. Hmmmm … you Know I’m No Good? Nah. Tears Dry On Their Own? Nope. Dammit, it’s like she never wrote a song about going to rehab! Man, what a waste …

Amy Winehouse

Whitney Houston seeks help … again!

Poor Whitney Houston, the soul stirring crooner (and a favorite here at PopBytes) is seeking treatment in a rehabilitation facility yet again. Reportedly the singer entered an outpatient program ten days ago, on a voluntary basis, to begin work on a ‘long-standing recovery process.’ This is just the latest entry into a very public battle Houston has been going through for quite some time now, she went from a mega established chart-topping career two decades ago to a complete 180 descent, including bouts with drugs, alcohol, and her fair share of abusive relationships, notably with her now ex-hubby Bobby Brown.

The singer has been through this before, in 2004 and 2005 the singer entered rehab programs, checking herself out prematurely both times. These stints in rehab came after her attempt to sneak a bag of pot past screeners at a Hawaii airport in 2000 and then a notorious interview with Diane Sawyer two years later, revealing sordid details of her drug driven life, including admittance to using not only marijuana but also cocaine, pills and alcohol but not crack, since that’s whack! She famously also said in that interview that the ‘party is over’, is the party really over now?

Whitney Houston has checked herself in to an out-patient rehabilitation program … TMZ has learned. A source directly connected with Whitney tells us … Houston enrolled in the program around 10 days ago. The program allows Houston to go out in public … as long as she has a monitor. Just last weekend, Houston was enjoying herself at a Prince concert in L.A. … with her daughter right by her side. Our source is not saying why Houston is seeking treatment … but we’re told, “She’s cleansing herself to get ready for a new movie.” SOURCE

Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston puts her daughter in rehab!

A few weeks ago, the National Enquirer published pictures of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown‘s daughter snorting cocaine, and now apparently Ms. Houston is saying ‘Oh hell to the no!’ and is ready to put Bobbi Kristina Brown (who just turned 18 on March 4th) straight into an outpatient rehab program! If this is indeed true (we are talking about the Enquirer) then this is definitely a step in the right direction before things get totally out of control, something Ms. Houston sadly knows all about!

A heartbroken Whitney Houston will put her daughter Bobbi Kristina into rehab after the Enquirer published world exclusive photos in our print edition of the troubled teen snorting cocaine. Crushed by our report that her daughter – known to friends as “Krissi” – is hopelessly addicted to cocaine and alcohol, Whitney begged her: “Don’t let drugs ruin your life the way they ruined mine,” sources say. The Grammy-winning diva and her ex-husband, Krissi’s father Bobby Brown, are blaming each other for their only child’s problems, according to insiders. “Whitney was devastated over the photos showing Krissi using cocaine, and the Enquirer story that quoted her telling friends, ‘I’m just like my mother,’” a friend divulged. “She called a family meeting and sobbed as she told Krissi, ‘I don’t want to lose you.’” READ MORE

Whitney Houston's daughter in rehab!

Stifler is in rehab!

Seann William Scott, who I’m just going to call Stifler because seriously? What kind of sick, twisted parent gives their kid three regular names with two identical, consecutive consonants in each one? Anyway, Stifler has entered a ‘treatment facility’ to get ‘treated’ for … something. Honestly, it’s anyone’s guess here.

Seann William Scott, the comic actor from the American Pie movies, has entered treatment for “health and personal issues,” his reps tell PEOPLE. Scott, 34, who also appeared in the Bruce Willis movie Cop Out and provided his voice for the Ice Age animated hits, did not disclose where he was being treated or what prompted the action. “Seann William Scott has voluntarily admitted himself for proactive treatment to address health and personal issues,” the reps say in a statement. “He appreciates the support of his many fans at this time.” SOURCE

Honestly, usually when they send celebrities into rehab, they at least try to put a pretty face on things by saying it’s something like “emotional issues” when they secretly mean “Mickey Mouse turned an eighteen-year-old girl into a coke mule”, but who the fuck knows on this one? Why don’t you guys just start a pool or something, we can figure this out later.

Seann William Scott

Does Christina Aguilera need rehab?

So apparently, after flubbing the National Anthem and spending the last few months riding the crazy train to Hasbeenland, Christina Aguilera‘s people are reportedly trying to get her into rehab. Of course, if we’re following the classic “Old Britney” template here, chances are that’s not gonna fly unless they leave a trail of Frappuccinos into Betty Ford.

Sources tell Page Six that Aguilera has been behaving erratically, and her staff thought it best she get help–a plan the pop diva resisted. “They wanted to talk to her carefully about the issue, but they’re not going to because they are scared after she threatened to fire them,” a source said. SOURCE

Really? It took people this long to figure out that Xtina might be, oh I don’t know, kinda completely insane? Have you seen her soon to be ex-husband Jordan Bratman? He literally looks like a foot. A giant foot. Plus she’s got that new (nobody) boyfriend Matt Rutler (who?), not to mention the fact that for the past six months, Christina has been calling her mouth “The Cupcake Graveyard”.

Christina Aguilera

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