#DOOM: Kim Kardashian & Paris Hilton together again!

Kim Kardashian & Paris Hilton

There are a lot of things Paris Hilton has done in her (I guess you can call it a) career to be ashamed of: her terrible reality television gigs, her failure as a film actress, her horrid music … the list goes on. But possibly the worst thing she ever did was pass on her famewhore torch to Kim Kardashian, thereby branching out the tree of man's inhumanity to man via her and her sisters. But then Paris compared Kim's ass to a trash bag full of MORE

Paris Hilton has a new song out? Terrific

Paris Hilton "Come Alive"

You know, we rag on Paris Hilton a lot, but we have to give credit where credit is due: Girlfriend is resilient. When the world said to her, "you have no acting ability," she made The Hottie and The Nottie. When the world said to her, "you have no singing ability," she released an album. And when the world said, "you've overstayed your welcome, so we're going to move onto a bigger, more unrepentant famewhore (aka Kim Kardashian)," she continued MORE

Leonardo DiCaprio has no love for the Kardashians

Leonardo DiCaprio

Keeping Up With The Kardashians may be the kind of unkillable cultural fixture that will some day shame us as we try to describe what a Kim Kardashian was, but if there's one silver lining, it's knowing that actual celebrities hate it as much as we do. Which brings us to our next story, which involves Keeping Up With The Kardashians trying to get Leonardo DiCaprio on the show, only to be turned down. Oh, and also the same thing happened with MORE

Justin Bieber and Paris Hilton aren’t doing it

Justin Bieber and Paris Hilton

You know, Justin Bieber's career has kind of been circling the drain for the past year or so, thanks to a steady diet of Sizzurp, entitlement, and Brazilian prostitutes. But behold, the lowest possible low one can achieve in their personal and professional lives: Justin Bieber now has to deny rumors that he and Paris Hilton are banging. That's it. Hang it up. Justin is over. He better pray that The Surreal Life makes a comeback, because there's MORE

The Game admitted to banging Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and The Game

A couple weeks back, we talked about how The Game was probably going to be cast on Keeping Up With The Kardashians as Khloé Kardashian's love interest since Lamar Odom was written off the show by the writers. (Yes, I'm aware it's reality TV, but tell me that didn't happen.) Except, funny story, The Game and Khloé never ended up hooking up, and as it turns out, he and Kim Kardashian apparently did it. A long, long time ago. Back when Kim was MORE

Paris Hilton: One of the top five DJs in the world?

Paris Hilton

What's that? You were feeling good about yourself after the holidays? Got to see your family and now you're all happy again? Got some nice presents? Gave some sweet gifts yourself? Well, here comes the suck: Paris Hilton thinks she's one of the top five DJs in the world, and she actually makes a stupidly huge amount of money for being so useless. And it's gotten so bad that Paul Oakenfold actually had to step in to tell her off. TMZ reports MORE

The Hiltons represent everything that sucks about America?

The Hiltons

So I'm guessing this whole stupid Lindsay Lohan / Paris Hilton's useless brother fight thing is going to be the big story for the next little while, so f*ck it, let's just get to it. Apparently, punching a Hilton in the face is making LiLo's pal Ray LeMoine (31) something of a celebrity, which I don't disagree with. It's a better reason to be famous then, say, being shat out by rich people and then buying yourself a reality TV show. Which brings MORE

Lindsay Lohan is getting thrown out of parties again

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, I worried that we were seeing the resurgence of the old, messy Lindsay Lohan who couldn't control herself and made terrible gawddamn decisions. Well, today TMZ has footage of Lindsay getting kicked out of a party in Miami and then trying to get back in, because why wouldn't you try and get back into a party where people beat the sh!t out of each other? Barron Hilton's bloody beatdown led to Lindsay Lohan getting kicked out of the MORE

Lindsay Lohan had Paris Hilton’s brother beaten up?

Barron Hilton

Last week, I threw Paris Hilton a pity post, because it was a slow news day and I figured that her career and public profile had fallen so far that she could use a bit of notoriety. Well, apparently she got a taste and wanted the whole pie, because over the weekend, her brother Barron Hilton got his ass kicked in Miami and now she's trying to blame Lindsay Lohan for organizing the beat down in the first place. And now, I'm stuck in the unenviable MORE

Paris Hilton didn’t confuse Nelson Mandela with MLK Jr.

Paris Hilton

Nelson Mandela died yesterday, at the age of 95 after spending his life to making the world a better place instead of, say, making a reality TV show about how rich people are better than stupid poor folks. Which brings us to Paris Hilton, who's none too pleased that a fake tweet about her confusing Mandela with Martin Luther King Jr. made the rounds. Although let's be honest: She kind of dropped off the face of the Earth. She should be thankful MORE

Links: Paris Hilton gets with Uncle Terry

Paris Hilton and Terry Richardson

→ See Paris Hilton's pics from her shoot with photographer Terry Richardson Hollywood Tuna → Charlie Hunnam thought he could re-write Fifty Shades script, the studio disagreed Celebitchy → Twenty WTF moments from this week's episode of FX's American Horror Story: Coven BuzzFeed → Kim Kardashian just Instagrammed a photo of herself in a very revealing bathing suit! SOW → Everybody panic ... the Jonas Brothers have MORE

Paris Hilton debuts her “Good Time” video

Paris Hilton "Good Time" Music Video

I'm not sure who opened the seventh seal or solved Lemarchand's box or whatever the hell just happened, but Paris Hilton has a new music video, and the only explanation is that someone messed around with forces most dark and tied our fates to The World Beyond Sight And Sound. Watch this thing called "Good Time" (featuring Lil' Wayne / produced by DJ Afrojack) and tell me that didn't just happen. Try it. Well, it looks like Anguish is our new god MORE

Links: Paris Hilton doesn’t do toilets!

Paris Hilton

→ Paris Hilton on if she has ever cleaned a toilet in her entire life ... Hell, no! Celebitchy → See twenty-three beautiful and perfect photos of Clint Eastwood's son Scott BuzzFeed → Josh Duhamel and Fergie's son Axl Jack is just 18 days old and super adorable! SOW → Find out what Eva Mendes will not do in front of her boyfriend Ryan Gosling ... The Blemish → Irina Shayk is probably the hottest mail order bride MORE

Lil’ Wayne signed Paris Hilton to Cash Money

Paris Hilton

Remember when Lil' Wayne released Tha Carter III and everyone hailed him as a musical genius? And then he basically drowned that critical goodwill in a bucket of cough syrup and bad auto-tuned rock music? Yeah, say goodbye to the rest of Lil Wayne's credibility as an artist, because he just signed Paris Hilton to his record label, Cash Money. TMZ reports ... Lil Wayne's crew just signed Paris Hilton to a record deal ... and she's planning on MORE