The 2011 MTV Movie Awards happened …

Jason Sudeikis

Once again, since I have no intention of spending fifty bajillion posts on an awards show that the rewards sparkly vampires and tiny canadian lez-bots. Therefore, I'm taking all the most important parts from last night's MTV Movie Awards and condensing them into one mega-post. Like a mutli-vitamin of bitchiness. Twilight won fucking everything. No, really, it won everything. Best movie, best actor, best actress, best fight scene and best MORE

Lady Gaga got an honorary degree from MTVU!

Lady Gaga

What's more annoying than celebrities getting honorary degrees from real universities despite not actually doing anything? Celebrities getting honorary degrees from fake universities for not doing anything! But for some reason, Lady Gaga will be getting a degree from MTVU (yes, it does stand for MTV University) for doing ... something. I think. Also, Daniel Tosh from Tosh.0 is getting one too. I suddenly feel way better about dropping out of MORE

Bad News: The next season of ‘Jersey Shore’ is still on

Jersey Shore

Dammit, and we were *this* close too ... anyway, despite rumors that the next season of Jersey Shore was delayed indefinitely (which is just fancy talk for CANCELED) because the Italian government didn't want a bunch of slutty, drunk, faux Italians running around their city, it turns out the show is still on and it's only been delayed slightly because the president of Italy is in town, and therefore they can't film until the president leaves or MORE

MTV’s Judy McGrath steps down!

Judy McGrath

Judy McGrath, MTV Networks Chairman and Chief Executive is leaving the network she’s been with for three decades now. McGrath began as a copywriter in 1981 and quickly rose to the top over the years, serving in different positions such as editorial director, creative director as well as executive vice president until finally in 2004 she ascended to the Chairman position she holds today. During her tenure she has helped the powerful network and MORE

Obvious Teen Moms are obvious

Teen Mom

In another fantastic example of closing the barn door after the horse has run off and gotten pregnant for money that the horse then spent on big fake tits and crystal meth, the cast of MTV's Teen Mom went ahead and made a PSA about how becoming a mother at such a young age was the worst thing to ever happen to them. You know, as long as you ignore the fact that they actually make decent money for doing exactly that, and they really didn't have MORE

Teenage famewhores get pregnant to be on MTV?

16 and Pregnant

Because this is exactly what happens when you announce you'll give money and attention to inbred, uneducated white trash if they can get knocked up, it turns out Jennifer Del Rio, one of the 'stars' of MTV's 16 and Pregnant physically abused her baby daddy over the weekend, and now it's been revealed that (gasp) she's a compulsive liar, and (super gasp) she lied to her boyfriend in order to get pregnant because (mega gasp) she wanted to be on TV. MORE

‘Jersey Shore’ spin-offs are on the way!

Jersey Shore

Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that MTV is going to be breaking out two new spin-offs of one of their most popular shows and it's not Teen Mom. The bad news is that its Jersey Shore, and while there are no stupid, pregnant, white trash teenage whores on that show, it does mean we're going to have to suffer through yet another show where Snooki, JWoww and Pauly D get drunk, try to fuck things and generally act like total MORE

It’s like ‘The Hills’ never ended …

Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port

Oh look, two of the whores from The Hills are fighting. Again. Honestly, it's like fucking clockwork with these people. Anyway, Whitney Port, who I thought was actually dead until this story popped up, is pissed off at Lauren Conrad, who I didn't think was dead but secretly wished she was, because Whitney thinks her show was canceled to make way for Lauren's show, which was canceled before it even made it to the air. Try and figure out how that MORE