Lindsay Lohan’s Parents: Banned from her reality show!

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan's parents only means of employment are coasting on their daughter's image and that's it, so of course both of them would attempt to jump on Lindsay's reality TV series (coming to Oprah Winfrey's OWN network early next year) the first chance they got. Except it turns out even the producers, people who profit directly from creating dramatic circumstances around their central star, think it's a bad idea to have them on the show and MORE

Michael Lohan talks Ashley Horn’s plastic surgery

michael-lohan-ashley-horn

Michael Lohan is pretty much an expert on judging when someone is riding Lindsay Lohan's coattails, specifically since that's really his only means of making money. When he has to list his occupation on his taxes, he just writes "my daughter is famous." Anyway, one of Michael's illegitimate love children, Ashley Horn, decided to spend $25,000 to look like LiLo, and now Michael is calling her out for using Lindsay for an easy buck. That's his MORE

“I got plastic surgery to look like Lindsay Lohan!”

Ashley Horn and Lindsay Lohan

Oh lordy, this is all kinds of crazy! In Touch magazine has an exclusive interview with Ashley Horn who is Lindsay Lohan's half-sister (Michael Lohan had an affair with Ashley's mom), and apparently she got plastic surgery to look like LiLo. Ashley claims she spent $25,000 on a bunch of procedures to look like 'Lindsay in her good days.' Talk about a complete waste of money, I could think of a million things better to do with that kind of money, MORE

Can Oprah save Lindsay Lohan?

Lindsay Lohan and Oprah Winfrey

Well, that's what Lindsay Lohan's (super annoying) dad Michael Lohan thinks. Once Lindsay completes her three-month stint in rehab, she's apparently going to sit down with Oprah Winfrey for an exclusive interview plus star in an eight-part docu-series about her long road to recovery that will air on OWN. The good thing about all this for LiLo is the two million dollar paycheck that Oprah is going to give Lindsay in exchange for her story. I'd MORE

Lindsay Lohan makes progress but not her parents!

Lindsay, Dina and Michael Lohan

We've been pretty happy about Lindsay Lohan hunkering down and taking her rehab seriously, and not just because we've ran out of ways to say "TURN IT AROUND, BITCH!" We're honestly, genuinely happy she's taking responsibility for herself. But of course, something has to go wrong, so here come her parents of the year Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan to take a big crap all over her progress by refusing to play nice for Lindsay's family therapy MORE

Lindsay Lohan’s parents may join her for therapy?

Lindsay, Michael and Dina Lohan

It's pretty much universally agreed upon that the root of Lindsay Lohan's problems are her parents, both of whom have failed at even the most basic principles of raising a kid in the most spectacular ways possible. So of course, The Betty Ford Center is trying to bring in Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan so that they can they can all get some family therapy. Come back tomorrow when the three of them escape from Betty Ford and go on a drunken MORE

Lindsay Lohan’s parents are writing tell-all books

Michael, Lindsay and Dina Lohan

At this point, Lindsay Lohan's famewhoring parents have divulged enough dirty details about their daughter's life that we can basically pinpoint the precise moment where they ruined LiLo forever. But of course, you can never not make enough money off of destroying a human being you created, so now both Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan are getting their own tell-all book deals. This is such a crime against American literature that I'm pretty sure God MORE

Lindsay Lohan has a new (doomed) baby brother!

Kate Major and Michael Lohan

Because you cannot deny the seductive magic of kicking someone in the vagina, Lindsay Lohan's dad Michael Lohan knocked up reporter Kate Major last year, and it looks like the toxic, sloppy entangling of whatever the hell these two are packing has produced a child. Consequently, the average IQ of the Lohan family has now doubled. TMZ reports ... While Lindsay Lohan was sweatin' it out in court, Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital. MORE

Michael Lohan: Lindsay is and isn’t a hooker

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

Over New Years, a severely broke Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to fly to London with her mother so that she could party it up with a rich Prince in exchange for $100,000. Joke all you want, but at least she's actually doing something that makes her money. So of course, Michael Lohan sniffed the air suspiciously, smelled a story about Lindsay, and immediately ran to RadarOnline to call his daughter a prostitute and Dina Lohan a pimp in exchange MORE

Links: Dina Lohan’s blame game!

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

→ Dina thinks her daughter Lindsay Lohan is messed up because her dad is messed up! Celebitchy → Here are the thirteen worst things that can happen to you at Downton Abbey! BuzzFeed → Is there trouble in paradise for Harry Styles of One Direction + Taylor Swift? PopCrush → Need inspiration to quit smoking/drinking/drugging? These pics of LiLo should help! Yeeeah → Kim Kardashian and Kanye West rejected a big paycheck MORE

Michael Lohan: Lindsay is being destroyed by partying with Dina!

Lindsay and Dina Lohan

So remember how Lindsay Lohan swore up and down that she was going to stay in on New Year's Eve? Guess how long it took before pictures of LiLo out at night with her mother Dina Lohan in tow looking like a hot boo-boo mess? NOT VERY. So here comes Michael Lohan, to simultaneously be the voice of reason and also a complete a-hole, via RadarOnline ... "Can you believe this?" the outspoken show business parent told us exclusively of images of MORE

Lindsay Lohan was fighting over Max George of The Wanted

Lindsay Lohan and Max George

So by now, you've probably heard that Lindsay Lohan was arrested for punching a woman in the mouth, which, you know, typical Thursday for her I guess. Well, it's been a couple hours, so details of the incident are slowly leaking bit by bit to the press. So far, the story seems to be that Lindsay Lohan wanted the member of The Wanted member Max George, but when she got too drunk for him, he moved onto someone else. So of course, she tried to win MORE

Lindsay Lohan wants nothing to do with her new half-sister Ashley Horn

Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan and Ashley Horn

I'm not sure if you heard this, but last week, Lindsay Lohan found out that she had a half-sister named Ashley Horn after Father of the Year Michael Lohan took a paternity test on a daytime talk show because that's how he rolls. You would figure that having a blood relative who is at this point more-or-less sane and stable would be a good thing for LiLo, except it turns out she's adamant about no wanting anything to do with the only non-crackhead MORE

Lindsay Lohan’s publicist just quit

Lindsay Lohan

Because you can really only deal with the Lohans for so long before your psyche collapses under the weight a thousand gallons of whiskey, TMZ reports that Lindsay Lohan's publicist Steve Honig finally quit yesterday, presumably by pointing at a picture of Lindsay, screaming "THE DEVIL! AIIIIIIIE!" and jumping out of a seventh story window. Lindsay Lohan's longtime publicist Steve Honig has called it quits -- and TMZ has learned, it was all MORE