When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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It's pretty much universally agreed upon that the root of Lindsay Lohan's problems are her parents, both of whom have failed at even the most basic principles of raising a kid in the most spectacular ways possible. So of course, The Betty Ford Center is trying to bring in Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan so that they can they can all get some family therapy. Come back tomorrow when the three of them escape from Betty Ford and go on a drunken MORE
At this point, Lindsay Lohan's famewhoring parents have divulged enough dirty details about their daughter's life that we can basically pinpoint the precise moment where they ruined LiLo forever. But of course, you can never not make enough money off of destroying a human being you created, so now both Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan are getting their own tell-all book deals. This is such a crime against American literature that I'm pretty sure God MORE
Because you cannot deny the seductive magic of kicking someone in the vagina, Lindsay Lohan's dad Michael Lohan knocked up reporter Kate Major last year, and it looks like the toxic, sloppy entangling of whatever the hell these two are packing has produced a child. Consequently, the average IQ of the Lohan family has now doubled. TMZ reports ... While Lindsay Lohan was sweatin' it out in court, Kate Major went into labor at a Florida hospital. MORE
Over New Years, a severely broke Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to fly to London with her mother so that she could party it up with a rich Prince in exchange for $100,000. Joke all you want, but at least she's actually doing something that makes her money. So of course, Michael Lohan sniffed the air suspiciously, smelled a story about Lindsay, and immediately ran to RadarOnline to call his daughter a prostitute and Dina Lohan a pimp in exchange MORE
→ Dina thinks her daughter Lindsay Lohan is messed up because her dad is messed up! Celebitchy → Here are the thirteen worst things that can happen to you at Downton Abbey! BuzzFeed → Is there trouble in paradise for Harry Styles of One Direction + Taylor Swift? PopCrush → Need inspiration to quit smoking/drinking/drugging? These pics of LiLo should help! Yeeeah → Kim Kardashian and Kanye West rejected a big paycheck MORE
So remember how Lindsay Lohan swore up and down that she was going to stay in on New Year's Eve? Guess how long it took before pictures of LiLo out at night with her mother Dina Lohan in tow looking like a hot boo-boo mess? NOT VERY. So here comes Michael Lohan, to simultaneously be the voice of reason and also a complete a-hole, via RadarOnline ... "Can you believe this?" the outspoken show business parent told us exclusively of images of MORE
So by now, you've probably heard that Lindsay Lohan was arrested for punching a woman in the mouth, which, you know, typical Thursday for her I guess. Well, it's been a couple hours, so details of the incident are slowly leaking bit by bit to the press. So far, the story seems to be that Lindsay Lohan wanted the member of The Wanted member Max George, but when she got too drunk for him, he moved onto someone else. So of course, she tried to win MORE
I'm not sure if you heard this, but last week, Lindsay Lohan found out that she had a half-sister named Ashley Horn after Father of the Year Michael Lohan took a paternity test on a daytime talk show because that's how he rolls. You would figure that having a blood relative who is at this point more-or-less sane and stable would be a good thing for LiLo, except it turns out she's adamant about no wanting anything to do with the only non-crackhead MORE
Because you can really only deal with the Lohans for so long before your psyche collapses under the weight a thousand gallons of whiskey, TMZ reports that Lindsay Lohan's publicist Steve Honig finally quit yesterday, presumably by pointing at a picture of Lindsay, screaming "THE DEVIL! AIIIIIIIE!" and jumping out of a seventh story window. Lindsay Lohan's longtime publicist Steve Honig has called it quits -- and TMZ has learned, it was all MORE
Last year, Lindsay Lohan made $2 Million, so you would figure that she wouldn't really have any money problems when you consider that people make a fraction of that and still make things work. And besides, it's not like she ever has to buy clothes, since people just leave them lying around for her all the time! Oh, what a charmed life she must have ... rxcept it turns out, gin must be way more expensive than I thought, because she's apparently MORE
On the Lindsay Lohan cycle, we've just cleared the massive alcohol-induced blow-up stage and are now well on our way to the intervention put together by her team, which I'm pretty sure will involve Shawn Holley leaving a trail of jewelery leading into Promises. "Jewelery lying out in the open? I'd be an idiot not to hide it in my bra! Wait a minute ... CURSE YOU SHAWN HOLLEY!" TMZ reports ... The emails are between Michael, Evan Hainey (LiLo's MORE
In the space of a couple days, Lindsay Lohan and her mother, Dina Lohan got into an insane crack fight, Michael Lohan leaked Lindsay's phone call to him, and everyone found out that Dina's been using Lindsay as her own personal coin purse. So now's a good time for Lindsay to sit down with Barbara Walters for the softests of softball interviews. TMZ reports: Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ she has been close to Walters for years and that MORE
A couple days ago, Lindsay Lohan called up her dad, Michael Lohan, for help after her and her mother, Dina Lohan, got into a physical fight because Dina wanted more money out of Lindsay. So like any good father, Michael immediately recorded that phone call and sold it to TMZ because hey, he's one of LiLo's parents. He can't get a job! Anyway, now Lindsay is claiming that everything she said about her mother in that phone call was a lie and that MORE
So in the space of half a day or so, Lindsay Lohan and her Mom, Dina Lohan, have gone from being in a physical, screaming fight (after Dina downed four glasses of wine) to hugging it out for the paparazzi. You know how it is ... parents! One minute the cops are being called in to separate the two of you, the next minute your hug's on the web. Anyway, sometime last night, Lindsay apparently called up her (famewhore) dad, Michael Lohan, during her MORE
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