Drunken assault? Oh, Lindsay …

So by now you've probably heard about how The Betty Ford Clinic gave Lindsay Lohan an inch of freedom and how she in turn took a mile of vodka shots. Well, it gets better: Turns out Lindsay may have physically assaulted one of the staff members at Betty Ford after her night of debauchery. That's our Lindsay! [Cue Laugh Track] The Palm Desert Police Department is now investigating an altercation that occurred after Lindsay and her roommates MORE

Someone is keeping tabs on Lindsay Lohan!

Now that Lindsay Lohan is nearing the end of her rehab stay, and she's resorting back to her "everyone sucks but me" attitude, it looks like Lindsay might have a new stalker who is keeping tabs on her freckled-ass. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ Lindsay has been receiving harassing phone calls and text messages from unknown numbers -- and the unidentified person behind them has been making disparaging statements about her recovery MORE

Jane Lynch to Lindsay: STFU!

With everyone's least favorite mother spouting her mouth to anyone who will listen, Jane Lynch is offering her opinion about the now infamous crack about Lindsay Lohan on Glee. Long story short, she basically just tells her to shut the fuck up in the nicest way possible. "I just wish her the best at Betty Ford. I've been sober many, many, many, many years and it's the way to go, so I wish her the best ... Don't take things so personally," Jane MORE

Dina is still yapping about ‘Inferno’!

So it's been a couple weeks since Lindsay Lohan got shitcanned from Inferno, which was slated to be the lamest comeback Hollywood has ever seen. Well, according to the ultimate stage mom Dina Lohan, Lindsay never wanted to play a drug addicted porn star anyway. What, was she afraid she'd be typecast or something? "The movie is about a drug addict and a porn star ... it is hard when you are a serious actor with what she has been through, we don't MORE

Lindsay is mad at CNN too!

You know, considering the amount of time the bitch has spent in rehab, you would have figured by now that Lindsay Lohan would have learned to take responsibility for her actions. Either that or grammar. But apparently she hasn't learned either, because now Lindsay is mad at CNN for putting her on their list of the year's most provocative stars. CNN ran a special last week counting down the most provocative celebs of the year, and Lindsay made the MORE

Let it go Dina and Lindsay, just let it go!

Never one to let a non-story go if it means squeezing a couple more dollars out, Dina Lohan is still talking about how hurt Lindsay Lohan was after Gwyneth Paltrow poked fun of her on Glee. Because, you know, Gwyneth wrote the episode herself and has full creative control over a show on which she only appeared once. Believe me, it makes sense when you drink as much as Dina does! "Lindsay was watching it while in Betty Ford, then she called me and MORE

Seriously Lindsay Lohan? Seriously?

Alright, so Lindsay Lohan is nearing the end of her vacation stay in rehab, which means now is the perfect time for her to start bitching and moaning about their services. Specifically, the fact that she had to pay for security that regularly showed up late. Lindsay Lohan was paying an extra $500 PER DAY for additional security at Betty Ford -- but we're told LiLo felt totally ripped off because her protectors were habitually showing up to work MORE

Who let Lindsay behind the wheel again?!

Now that Lindsay Lohan is slowly starting readjust to normal society, some dipshit has decided to let the girl drive a car again, because Lindsay Lohan and automobiles go together like Coke and Mentos. In an unrelated story, sales of armor-plated baby carriages have skyrocketed in the past hour. The L.A. County Probation Department and officials at the Betty Ford clinic signed off this morning, so Lindsay can drive just like us. And speaking of MORE

Lindsay Lohan as Linda Lovelace is a no go!

And just like that, the final nail in the booze and cocaine-soaked coffin of Lindsay Lohan's career has been hammered in, now that Lindsay has officially been shitcanned from the Linda Lovelace biopic, Inferno. Instead, Malin Akerman is taking over the role, because if her performance in Watchmen taught us anything, it's that she's very good at making everyone feel uncomfortable watching her have sex. Required to remain in rehab until January for MORE

Dina Lohan might be suing Glee!

Did any of you catch the episode of Glee this week with ... ugh, Gwyneth Paltrow? She's on our nice list here, which means I can't say anything bad about her, but ... ummm, the lighting on her was really good. Anyway, her character on the show made a couple cracks about Lindsay Lohan at one point in order to connect with the kids, which of course set off Dina Lohan's 'Money-grub For Attention' alarm. She told US site Gossip Cop her lawyers were MORE

Lindsay Lohan hates her mom too now!

It was only a matter of time before Lindsay Lohan started catching on that her mom totally failed as a parent; reports are beginning to go around that LiLo is pissed off at her mother, Dina Lohan, for talking with Matt Lauer on the Today show, and is starting to realize that Dina may have been using her to achieve fame and fortune for herself. Gee, you don't say. Our sources say ever since the interview Lindsay has been wary of her mom and is MORE

Dina Lohan is ready to ruin her third child!

With Lindsay Lohan in rehab while her career is on life-support, and Ali Lohan still stuck in D-list obscurity, Dina Lohan has decided that it's high-time she started pimping out her third meal ticket son, Michael Lohan Jr., by sticking him in a movie about privileged white kids who become heroin addicts. The irony of all of this is so rich, thick and delicious, I'm going to go drizzle it over my Eggos. Defiant Pictures is set to start production MORE

Lindsay Lohan satisfies her need for … coffee!

A smiling and very healthy looking Lindsay Lohan gets away from her sober living home for some coffee and freedom in Rancho Mirage, CA on November 10th, 2010. Far from the disheveled person who walked into The Betty Ford Clinic, Lindsay looks radiant sporting full cheeks, great color in her face and hair neatly pulled back. Looks like she is well on the road to a full recovery. (Let's hope so, she doesn't have many chances left!) PHOTOS | MORE

Dina Lohan is still delusional!

Because Dina Lohan needs a way to exploit Lindsay regardless of where she currently is, Dina decided to go back on Today and lie to Matt Lauer's face again so that she could put food on the table. And by 'food', I mean vodka. And by 'table', I mean her mouth. Lindsay Lohan's mother says her daughter's treatment for addiction at the Betty Ford Clinic has been "life-changing." Dina Lohan says the world-renowned addiction center in Rancho Mirage, MORE