When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Fun story time! When I was a younger, my older brother had a friend who used to joy ride down residential streets, get into fights at the local bar, and basically acted like an entitled douche every opportunity he got. Why? Because his parents totally allowed it, and they were rich enough to bail him out every time. One day, the cops caught him driving drunk and threw the book at him. And you know what happened? He stopped acting like an asshole, MORE
Hey, so you know how Lindsay Lohan convinced a judge to sentence her to lockdown rehab, which DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, before they eventually found the one rehab in NY that could conceivably contain her? Yeah, she's trying to get out of even that now. Why? Because LILO. RadarOnline reports ... “The judge told Lindsay that she had to be enrolled in the rehab by May 2, but it’s possible that her defense attorney might try and say that she is MORE
If there's one thing that you can always count on with Lindsay Lohan, it's that she'll always find a way to not only do the exact opposite of what she's supposed to, but she'll find a way to make it blow up in the most spectacularly awful way she can think of. So of course, despite the fact that Lindsay was scheduled for a deposition in Los Angeles, she was off in New York because sushi is delicious. Did we really expect anything less of her? No, MORE
Granted, most of what I know about the California legal system has so far come from watching Lindsay Lohan bend it over her knee and wail on it, even though she's broke and dumber than narwhal. So when I heard that Justin Bieber's battery/spitting case is being taken seriously by the D.A., I just assumed what they really meant was "we're going to send him to bed for the night without any dessert. Okay, fine, one scoop of ice cream. But not MORE
So last week, shortly after Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in lockdown rehab, TMZ broke the story that there are no actual lockdown rehabs in New York. So of course, LiLo screwed herself again, except now it's gotten even worse: According to TMZ, there's no such thing as lockdown rehab. At all. As in lawyer Mark Heller could have scored Lindsay a plea deal where she spent 90 days driving around on Rainbow Road and it would be about as MORE
Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to ninety days of lockdown rehab for lying to the police, because hey, it didn't work the first two times but surely the third time's the charm! Except according to TMZ, Lindsay's registered as living in New York, where lockdown rehabs don't exist and now she might end up going to jail instead ... We've done some digging, contacting numerous rehab facilities in NY, and we're getting the same story MORE
Earlier today, Lindsay Lohan dodged jail and got 90 days of rehab instead because that worked out so well the last time she went. But what you probably didn't catch was the whispered exchange between Lindsay and her lawyer, Mark Heller, while in court. According to TMZ, at one point you can hear Lindsay (who in no way looks completely hungover after St. Patrick's Day ... not at all) tell Mark to shut up and stop talking, and when he eventually MORE
Well, Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to dodge the jail bullet yet again! There's a bunch of terms and conditions that come with the plea deal she finally accepted but the main part of her 'punishment' is a ninety-day stay at a lockdown rehab facility, no day passes allowed! This seems to be the very last chance for her to straighten up her messy act, I don't think the court is going to be so kind again if she violates her probation one more time. MORE
UPDATE: It's official, Lindsay Lohan is late! Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan missed her plane to L.A. for her court date because she's LiLo, and it would be more surprising if she ever showed up anywhere on time and behaved herself than if she just showed up two hours late and soaked in gin. Well, Lindsay decided to book another plane ride, only to get off that one because she thought the plane was unsafe, all before she convinced an energy MORE
Oh here we go again ... Lindsay Lohan is due back in court tomorrow (she is required to be there in person), but I guess she was partying it up over in NYC and missed her flight back to Los Angeles. Apparently she's now scrambling to get a flight out of the east coast as soon as possible. If she doesn't make it in time, a bench warrant could be issued and she'll likely end up in jail with a brand-new mugshot to add to her growing collection. At MORE
Lindsay Lohan is due back in court next week to stand trial in her lying to the cops case, which she somehow thinks she'll win despite the fact that her lawyer Mark Heller is essentially Lionel Hutz and, well, she's LiLo. Which is exactly what the prosecutors are banking on in their case against her, as they'll be reminding everyone that getting into car accidents and then claiming that someone else was driving is kind of her gimmick. TMZ reports MORE
So far Lindsay Lohan has already passed on one easy out in her lying-to-the-cops case, wherein she was offered a rehab stay instead of going to jail and she rejected it because she's a moron. But since the LA legal system is nothing if not accommodating, they offered Lindsay another plea deal where she would have spent ninety days under house arrest, and of course LiLo turned it down. Via MSN ... If nothing else, Lindsay Lohan has attitude. MORE
Who's ready for a hypothetical thought experiment? All right, let's say you fire your old lawyer who you never bothered paying in favor of a new lawyer who costs way less but is also way less ... competent. As in, he's sponsored by someone who never actually practiced law, barely knows how to file the correct paper work, and thinks hitting on the judge is a good idea. After a while, the judge tells you to either hire a lawyer who knows what he's MORE
In case you haven't heard by now, California's Proposition 8 (the bill that outlawed gay marriage in the state) is heading to the Supreme Court, which if all goes well could strike a huge blow for equal rights in the states. To help things out, Ellen DeGeneres, the single most likeable celebrity in the world, filed a brief with them to try and convince them that banning gay marriage is unconstitutional. Portia and I have been married for 4 MORE
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