Kris Jenner is angry that Khloé revealed how horrible she is!

Kris Jenner and Khloe Kardashian

Just the other day, everyone found out that Kris Jenner wanted her daughter Khloé Kardashian to get a nose job when she was nine, and everyone just sort of rolled their eyes and went "well of course, she's the devil." Now comes the inevitable second step of any story involving Kris being called out for being a terrible mother: self-righteous, vindictive outrage! Yeah, instead of looking at that and having any sort of moment of clarity, she got MORE

So when did Kris Jenner suggest Khloe get a nose job?

Khloe Kardashian and Kris Jenner

I'm not sure if Kris Jenner is intentionally angling for the title of "worst mother ever" or if she's just sort of falling into that niche naturally, but credit where credit's due: She really is just the worst mother ever. Like, such an awful mother that she said Khloe Kardashian needed a nose job when Khloe was just nine-years-old. You know, that age when people's faces and bone structures and bodies haven't even finished growing and adjusting? MORE

HA: ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ is losing viewers by the millions!

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

I know most people would call this a Christmas miracle, but who are we kidding? That's not for another twenty days, while the last day of Hanukkah ends this evening. So I'm calling it now: Keeping Up With The Kardashians is apparently hemorrhaging viewers by the millions, and it's a Hanukkah miracle. L'Chei-im! RadarOnline reports ... The once-popular reality TV show has been on a steady decline over the last four seasons, and RadarOnline has MORE

Ugh: Kris Jenner actually loved that “Bound 2″ video

Kim Kardashian

A couple days ago, news broke that Kris Jenner apparently threw a fit over Kim Kardashian going topless in Kanye West's music video for "Bound 2," because ... I don't know. Their empire was built on a foundation of boobs, pee and ass, which made it all possible for them to build their castle of mediocrity and awfulness. Anyway, I'm guessing Kris realized that Kim still needs to dig in the golden hills of Kanye's fortune, so she has apparently MORE

The Kardashian Kristmas Kard kost $250,000!

Kim Kardashian

Yesterday, the Kardashian family revealed their annual Kristmas Kard, and it was ... well, sh!t. It's basically one huge pile of violently expelled human excrement artfully arranged by David LaChapelle WHO IS ABOVE THIS. As it turns out, it takes a lot of money to get David to make a tableau decrying the hypocrisy of American excess that you thrive upon, because the entire thing apparently cost $250,000 to shoot. They could have used that money MORE

Kris Jenner thinks Kim Kardashian is destroying her credibility

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

It's pretty safe to say that Kanye West's "Bound 2" music video is kind of a flop, and no amount of explaining that "It was supposed to look like sh!t!" will ever change that. Anyway, one of the most noticeable parts of the video -- aside from Kanye's complete misunderstanding of physics or taste -- is that Kim Kardashian was topless through the whole thing, and now Kris Jenner is apparently pretty pissed that Kim would show her boobs for MORE

Kris Jenner might be doing it with ‘The Bachelor’

Kris Jenner and Ben Flajnik

If you're in the US, chances are your prepping for Thanksgiving. Well, in order to help you and make sure you don't accidentally over eat, allow me to completely ruin your appetite by telling you about what Kris Jenner's vagina is doing! You're welcome! Well, according to Us Weekly, she may or may not be f**king former Bachelor Ben Flajnik. Somewhere out there, a mortician is saving himself some trouble by filling out Ben's death certificate in MORE

Kanye West: The Kardashians are helping America!

The Kardashians

Yesterday, Kanye West called himself a god, and oh how we laughed and laughed, assured that he would never say anything dumber than that. Except here he is saying that the Kardashians actually help America, so congrats! You said something worse than self-deification. Via RadarOnline ... “A lot of what the Kardshians do,I don’t think they get enough credit for what they do. They prep America to accept interracial relationships,” he said MORE

Kanye West still wants Kim Kardashian on Vogue

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Ever since they started dating, Kanye West has been trying to use his ties with Anna Wintour to score Kim Kardashian a Vogue magazine cover. There's only one problem with that: Wintour hates Kim, to the point where she only let her come to the Met Gala in the ugliest dress possible, then proceeded to crop her out of all the pictures on Vogue.com. It was actually really funny. Anyway, Page Six reports that Kanye has now taken to forcing them to MORE

Trailer: Kardashian’s Kristmas special (Hoe, hoe, hoe)

The Kardashian's Christmas Special

Remember how a couple months back, the Kardashians filmed their big fake Christmas special because they're not even trying to hide the fact that it's all one huge sham to bilk idiots out of their money? Well, that has a trailer, and it looks even bigger and faker and dumber than usual. And they're even going to reveal their Christmas card on their show, because they actually think that's important! Somewhere out there, The Grinch is hanging up MORE

Kris Jenner is full of it on ‘In Bed With Joan’

Kris Jenner and Joan Rivers

Here's the latest episode of Joan Rivers' webseries, In Bed With Joan, featuring Kris Jenner because she needs to do some damage control after her husband escaped her house of lies. Anyway, it probably shouldn't surprise anyone that Kris is pretty much full of sh!t through the whole thing, such as when she calls out the tabloids for writing about her (she loves it) or when she says she made Scott Disick into the villain on her show (mother of the MORE

Kris Jenner might secretly be Joan Crawford!

Joan Crawford and Kris Jenner

I've made a lot of jokes about Kris Jenner is secretly Joan Crawford (as well as the devil / an evil spider demon / a monster who eats orphans / an example of how society rewards shameless self-promotion over actual talent) but I never actually believed she was Mommie Dearest. Well, according to RadarOnline, Kris had a "Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?" moments when she found out her daughters weren't watching her terrible MORE

Kris Jenner has blacklisted ‘Access Hollywood’

Kris Jenner

Remember when Kris Jenner had her own daytime talk show? HA! Just kidding! Of course you don't remember! So few people actually watched it that it retroactively ceased to exist. Well, apparently she's still pretty sore over the fact that no one wanted to watch her feign enthusiasm over someone other than herself, and has even gone so far as to blacklist Access Hollywood because they didn't like her crappy show. It's apparently gotten so bad that MORE

Kylie and Kendall Jenner: Under investigation for underage clubbing!

Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner

Earlier this week, Kylie and Kendall Jenner were caught sneaking into a 21+ sex-themed nightclub using fake IDs, because when your mom is Kris Jenner this is literally the best case scenario. Anyway, the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control is on the case now, I guess mostly to keep up appearances. Hey, they let Lindsay Lohan skate by during her trouble days, so I guess this time they're nipping it in the bud instead of waiting MORE