When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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A couple months ago, it was announced that Kris Jenner was getting her own daytime talk show and that America would be a lesser place for it. We're all slightly worse people now because she has her own talk show. That's how it works. Anyway, there is some good news here: It turns out, absolutely no one wants to go on her show, and even Ryan Seacrest can't convince anyone famous to actually associate themselves with Kris. Via The National Ledger MORE
Did you know that vapid self-involved people don't magically stop being vapid self-involved people the moment they have kids? I know, I'm amazed too. To prove that point, here's a former nanny for the Kardashians telling RadarOnline that Kris Jenner is basically a complete failure as a mother who teases her daughters over their weight and made sure her kids grew up to be as materialistic and cut-throat as possible. In related news, the sky is MORE
Yesterday, it was announced that Khloé Kardashian got dropped from her co-hosting gig The X Factor because dumb-dumb couldn't even read a teleprompter without her brain taking a dump in her mouth. But wait, it gets even better! Turns out, Pimp Mama Kris Jenner was pissed that Mario Lopez was showing up Khloé, so she tried to have him fired from the show by claiming that they had no chemistry. So they fired Khloé. HAHAHA! RadarOnline reports MORE
A couple months ago, diary entries from the late Robert Kardashian's journal started making their way online, which basically called out Kris Jenner as a terrible mother, alleging that she abused, threatened and neglected her children while she basically looked after no one but herself. Well, the Kardashian family is now suing Ellen Pearson, Robert's widow and the woman who released the entries, for slander and libel and- Oh, wait, they're only MORE
After six years on the air, it seems like America has finally come together to realize that the Kardashian sisters and their show are completely terrible, and their ratings are now plummeting so low that a show about rednecks calling ducks received double the viewership of E!'s Kourtney & Kim Take Miami. Gosh, I just can't imagine why that may be. Via RadarOnline ... The most recent episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami from March 17, 2013 MORE
Some of you might remember this one, but a couple months ago, the Kardashians were accused of stealing the name of a makeup line, Kroma, for their own line, Khroma. Yeah, that's not much of a stretch. Well, the Khroma line just sent the Kardashians and their line a cease and desist, and in the interrim, the Kardashians' makeup line is being pulled from the shelves until the matter is settled. Side-note: HAHAHAHAHA! You suck Kim Kardashian! MORE
Hey, remember how Kim Kardashian only became famous after her sex tape 'mysteriously' leaked? (By which I mean she purposely signed a stack of release forms before handing over two valid forms of government I.D.) And remember how Kim said she wanted to leave reality television forever, thus removing the only reason her mother Kris Jenner is famous? Well, according to the National Enquirer, momager Kris may possibly have a sex tape of her own, MORE
Last month, Kim Kardashian gave an interview where she hinted that she wouldn't be on reality TV for much longer, thus ending our long national nightmare. Of course, Kris Jenner has made millions of dollars out of pimping out her daughters every chance she got, and Kim is basically her bottom bitch, so naturally Kris had a conniption at the thought of losing her money. I mean daughter. Her daughter who makes all her money for her. From MORE
Earlier this week, rumors started swirling that Kim Kardashian was going to quit Keeping Up With The Kardashians, thus pulling the lynch pin that would basically end Kris Jenner's reign of terror. Except nope, Kim's still signed on for two interminable seasons. But I'm guessing that Kris knows her days are numbered, because a new report from In Touch seems to indicate that Kris is going to start using her younger daughters, Kylie and Kendall, to MORE
Considering that Kris Jenner's entire life plan can be summed up as "exploit my kids until I land my own television show," it probably shouldn't come as a surprise that Kris is getting her own daytime talk show where she'll give advice (ugh) and wisdom (double ugh) to bored housewives. Advice like "make your kids perform sham weddings for money and attention," or "your daughter's sex tape will sell for more if you make the guy pee on her!" Salon MORE
Over the years, Kris Jenner has made millions of dollars and amassed tons of publicity by essentially turning her family into a 24/7 fame-whoring plant, to the point where even Joan Crawford would look at her and go, "wow, you really suck at this whole 'maternal' thing, don't you?" And then I like to imagine that Joan would beat Kris with a wire hanger before smashing her face into a bathroom floor covered in scouring powder. Anyway, yesterday, MORE
So earlier this week, a quote was attributed to Kris Jenner saying that Kim Kardashian's critics are hoes, and everyone believed it because it sounded like it was written by an uneducated teenage girl, which is Kris' writing style down to a T. Well, it turns out the quote was actually from a Kris Jenner fan page, but Kris wants you all to know that while she didn't actually write the quote, she does agree with it, you stupid hoes. RadarOnline MORE
Considering that the Kardashian family is filled with more hazardous, radioactive waste than a Chinese toy factory, it's a small wonder that the CDC hasn't bothered quarantining them from the rest of society. Seriously, I'm pretty sure Kris Jenner is 73% silly putty, 25% used Gak, and 2% Grade F cat meat, all shaped into a vaguely hominid form. Well, allegedly Rob Kardashian is getting in on the game, as the most anonymous Kardashian allegedly MORE
Some of you might remember a little while ago when Kim Kardashian's ex-cat, Mercy, suddenly died after she gave it away. Well, the brand new Kardashian Kristmas Kard -- The hard-C is the family's mortal enemy -- has made its way onto the internet, and the creepiest part is that they somehow found it appropriate to include a picture of Mercy, looking the most miserable I have ever seen a kitten look before. From Us Weekly ... The card features MORE
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