When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
 |  |  |
I remember when Kim Kardashian ended her big fake marriage after only seventy-two days, my first instinct was to role my eyes, mutter "well of course she is" and then cursing the horrid bitch for ruining Halloween for me. HALLOWEEN! You have some nerve, Kim ... anyway, prepare yourselves, because this next story will make your eyes roll so damn hard they pop out of your sockets and tear ass across the country: Kim filmed the "exact moment" she MORE
It's no secret that Kim Kardashian is doing everything she can to manipulate her "reality" television show to make herself look like the jilted, crushed victim and Kris Humphries look like Satan, despite the fact that he's just an idiot and she had her ass filled with pure concentrated evil and pee. Anyway, now Kim is making her editors work double time so that they can manipulate the show until it looks like she's actually capable of feeling MORE
Last week, Kris Humphries was welcomed back to the NBA with a whole lotta booing from the crowd, which is weird because Kim Kardashian has pretty much banged the entire league at this point so at this point, why even bother? Anyway, Kris' coach has come forward asking the fans to boo even more, because apparently he likes it when his players are actively aware of who hates them. Us Weekly reports: "People were talking crazy last year," MORE
In case you were wondering whether or not the Kim Kardashian stench has washed off of Kris Humphries yet? Well, not yet. During a pre-season basketball game, Kris spent his time on the court getting booed straight to hell and back. Which is weird, because I'm pretty sure if they booed every basketball player who ever stuck his dick in Kim, it would be nothing but boos. People reports: Humphries, 26, who re-signed with the New Jersey Nets on MORE
Why is it news when people call Kim Kardashian's shows fake? I mean seriously, at this point, that's like freaking out because someone called The Simpsons a cartoon. Just ... gah. Anyway, Kris Humphries is reportedly telling everyone that Kim's show is fake, and is citing a moment where Kim mysteriously finds her missing earring IN THE OCEAN as a prime example. And it turns out, Khloé Kardashian is the only good egg, which once again: Well d'uh. MORE
So during the premiere episode of Kim and Kourtney Take New York, famewhore Kim Kardashian apparently took a playful swing at Kris Humphries after he accidentally stepped on her toe. And now, we enter into some weird moral territory about whether or not this constitutes domestic abuse. From The Huffington Post: Are people quick to defend her because she is physically smaller and weaker than her husband therefore he should be able to "take it?" MORE
While it's nice to see the media finally catching up to us on the whole "Kim Kardashian has faked every meaningful moment in her life for money and attention" thing, I gotta say, the way they breathlessly sputter over each and every new act of famewhoring Kim gets herself into is really starting to just seem quaint and naive. For example, Kris Humphries is trying to file for annulment from his marriage to Kim, claiming that he was just a pawn for MORE
Because in Kim Kardashian's mind, a crappy sham of a reality television show is more important than a real, loving marriage, it turns out Kim might have forced her soon to be ex-hubby Kris Humphries into being on her show, even though he never wanted to be part of the fakery. But in all fairness, marriages come and go. TV shows? Those are special. One of those will last you a lifetime! Or, you know, until the public finds someone who's an even MORE
You know how for some reason, following the dissolution of Kim Kardashian's big fake wedding to Kris Humphries, a bunch of stories from "anonymous sources close to the story" (i.e. THE KARDASHIANS) popped up in tabloids accusing Kris of being abusive and dumb and lazy and homophobic? Well, Kris has finally decided to fight back by suing Kim for $10 Million bucks for portraying him badly on her fake reality show where everything is a lie from a MORE
With Christmas slowly creeping up on us, and Santa preparing to work the one day of the year he's required to work (unless he's bailed out by yet another cartoon character who has to save Christmas ... seriously, every year it happens. Santa hasn't actually worked since 1959.) it's time to break out everyone's favorite almost tolerated holiday obligation: Christmas cards! And like all irritating newlyweds, Kim Kardashian decided to use a picture MORE
Like every other conniving, vindictive harpy lady who breaks up and immediately declares that any mutual friend who supports her ex in even the slightest fashion is dead to her (eat a dick, Kayla Walker) Kim Kardashian has decided to cut off any friend of hers that dares to lend their support to Kris Humphries, including professional ... something, Brittny Gastineau. Wait, who names their daughter Brittny? Either her parents were too poor to MORE
Because you should always trust people who are paid to tell you what someone wants you to think, Kim Kardashian's lawyer wants you all to know that Kim's marriage to Kris Humphries was real and that she didn't do the entire thing for money and attention like everyone knows she did! No, she actually did it because she had that feeling in her heart that you humans call 'love'. Or that might have just been a nasty case of gas. Who knows? Anyone's MORE
Man, I never thought I'd type those words, and yet here we are. During a concert in New York City, Canadian crooner Michael Bublé took the opportunity to publicly bitchslap Kim Kardashian, saying that she'd never set one slutty foot on his stage, and then dedicated a song to Kris Humphries in order to relieve the stress that comes with getting big fake married to a big ass famewhore. ContactMusic reports: According to the New York Post, MORE
Someone over at E! must have realized that a reunion special would bring in way more ratings than a divorce one, especially since Kim Kardashian has for some reason decided that now would be the appropriate time to stop letting cameras capture every boring, uninteresting, unfunny moment of her stupid life. So of course Kim was just shipped off to Minnesota to visit Kris Humphries and the minister who fake married them so that she could try and MORE
 | |
 | |
 |
 |
 |
