Kris Humphries wants $$$ from Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Because being fake married to Kim Kardashian is a fate worse than even the deepest, darkest circles of hell, it's understandable that Kris Humphries managed to claw himself out of the pit of lies and skankery and now he wants a little compensation for being strung along into a plotline for Kim's fake reality show. Which is why he's demanding $7 Million for an out of court settlement with Kim, and claiming that Kim also took his share of the $18 MORE

Kim Kardashian’s ‘secret adoption’

Kim Kardashian

You know what Kim Kardashian hasn't done yet? She hasn't pretended to adopt a baby yet. So of course it was only a matter of time before Kim whipped out her phone and started spreading a rumor that she was adopting a baby because if you honestly believe that the Kardashians don't meticulously plan everything you read about them in magazines, money is poison and I am the only person in the world with the antidote. OK! reports: When Kim MORE

Nice bald spot, Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

It looks like the stress of getting paid millions of dollars to do absolutely nothing is finally getting to Kim Kardashian, because the poor girl was recently spotted in Paris with a massive bald spot (see photos here), which I'm guessing is a result of erosion from all the d-list rapper pee she's been pouring on herself. Don't lie: now that you've heard my theory, it actually sort of makes sense, doesn't it? Via RadarOnline: Kim Kardashian is MORE

Kim Kardashian donated her wedding gift money

Kim Kardashian

Remember a while back when Kim Kardashian said she would be donating the cash value of her wedding gifts to charity, like that's some sort of colossal accomplishment when you donate like 1.5% of the money you earned from staging a fake wedding to charity? And then she went ahead and kept the money anyway because her family needed new watches? Well, Kim is now vowing to donate twice the money to charity, so yay. Good for her for donating 3% of MORE

Kim Kardashian is ready to gold dig

Kim Kardashian

BREAKING NEWS: Kim Kardashian is a money-grubbing famewhore who will fake being in love if it means she can scam people out of their money. Oh, wait, that's not breaking news. Anyway, this time around, Kim is trying to land herself a Saudi billionaire so that someone else can take care of her and she'll never have to work again. Wait, Kim works? Hollywood Life reports: During Kim and Kris Jenner‘s trip to Dubai in October 2011, many Saudi MORE

Ray J leaks his sex life with Kim Kardashian

Ray J and Kim Kardashian

HA! Get it? Because the only reason Kim Kardashian is famous is because Ray J peed on her in a sex tape that she sold herself because she's an opportunistic cretin? Oh, I am good sometimes ... anyway, Ray J is the latest celebrity who thinks that an ability to do something entirely removed from writing somehow means he can write, which means he's going to (get a ghostwriter to) pen his autobiography in which he discusses how Kim loves the black MORE

The Kardashians are being sued over QuickTrim

Kim and Khloé Kardashian

Stop me if you've heard this one before: the Kardashian family was paid to endorse a product that either doesn't work or completely screws over the user, and then everyone was all like "wait, this product is bullshit!" and then the Kardashians get sued for trying to pimp out a useless product. Oh, wait, you have heard this one before? Well, what if I told you that instead of a credit card for teenage girls that will send them to the poor house, MORE

Jeremy Lin isn’t dating Kim Kardashian

Jeremy Lin and Kim Kardashian

Because you can't be a successful athlete without someone claiming that you're doing Kim Kardashian (that someone is Kim) Jeremy Lin had to shoot down rumors that he's dating Kim. The best part? His reasoning is she isn't even his type. So if you need another reason to love Jeremy, he doesn't go for the whole "attention-seeking famewhore" type. And I found the perfect man. USA Today reports: In it, the single, 23-year old Harvard graduate MORE

Khloe Kardashian asked Kim to be her surrogate?

Khloé and Kim Kardashian

I used to think that Khloé Kardashian would be a good mother because as far as I could tell she was probably the least money and attention hungry out of the Kardashian whorebeast clan. Except now Kim Kardashian is claiming that Khloé asked her to be a surrogate mother, and now I'm starting to think I might have been wrong, because who would willingly put anything in Kim's vagina unless they wanted to watch it dissolve into a screaming puddle? MORE

Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush: Back on?

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush

Remember when Kim Kardashian made the whole "I'll never date another football player" thing, which had nothing to do with the fact that the Super Bowl was happening, and I called her a lying liar who tells lies for attention because she's a morally corrupt famewhore? Well, score one for me, because it looks like she's back together with her football player ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush. See how that works? TMZ reports: Kim Kardashian has reunited MORE

Kim Kardashian finally agrees not to have herself on TV

Kim Kardashian

For those of you who never thought they would see the day where Kim Kardashian would refuse to air part of her private life on reality television for money and attention: well, congrats on being alive I guess. I reported yesterday that Kim and Kris Humphries' divorce could potentially be aired since the footage of it would have been legally deemed public property. But for once, Kim has refused to air her personal business in order to get more MORE

Kim Kardashian & LeAnn Rimes: Church buddies?

LeAnn Rimes and Kim Kardashian

Despite the fact that one faked a marriage for money and attention and the other cheated on her husband to sleep with another woman's husband, it seems Kim Kardashian and LeAnn Rimes have become church buddies and might start a Bible study group. Because, why not? We've made plenty of other attention-starved, money-grubbing con artists into televangelists, why not these ones? TooFab reports: The stars had lunch together Friday in Calabasas MORE

‘Kim’s Fairytale Divorce’ could be a thing!

Kourtney, Kim and Khloé Kardashian

So back around the middle of October, I joked about how E! would start putting together a new special called Kim's Fairytale Divorce sometime in the spring, because ha ha! Laughable! Turns out, I may have totally been right. Thanks to a weird legal loophole, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' divorce trial could be legally public, which means that there's a very good chance the famewhore herself could turn it all into one big reality TV special, MORE

Kim Kardashian is done dating football players?

Kim Kardashian

In case you needed any further proof that Kim Kardashian is a lying whorebeast, aside from anything and everything she's ever done ever, here's the most damning piece of evidence you can think of: after rumors circulated that she was dating football star Mark Sanchez, Kim claimed that she would never date another football player ever again, which I think means she's banging one as I type this. And chances are she'll be banging a different one by MORE