Kim Kardashian: I failed at marriage!

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

So as Kim Kardashian tried to pull a last-minute Hail Mary on her show to try and convince everyone that she's actually capable of feeling emotions and that her whole 72-day scam marriage was actually just a 72-day really stupid marriage, Kim decided to spray on some of those fake tears (the same ones Chris Brown used to make everyone forget he nearly killed Rihanna and left her for dead) and told the camera about how sorry she is for all of MORE

What does Snoop Dogg think of Kim Kardashian?

Snoop Dogg

Did you know Snoop Dogg has his own Internet show? Well now you do. Anyway, on last night's episode, someone for some reason decided that Snoop was the best person to ask for advice concerning Kris Humphries now that Kim Kardashian big fake divorced him. That person is probably Kris Jenner, but I digress. Snoop answered by basically calling Kim a cold-blooded, money grubbing whore, and it was FUCKING AWESOME. Watch the video below, although I MORE

Someone thinks Kim Kardashian can act

Kim Kardashian

Despite the fact that Kim Kardashian can emote about as well as buttered toast on her own fake reality TV show, someone looked at Kim's all-consuming whore vortex and thought "yes, that will boost our numbers". And that's how Kim landed a recurring role on Drop Dead Diva, and now we can all pinpoint the exact moment that show jumped the shark, peed on it, then sold footage of it to Vivid Video. TooFab reports: "I am so excited to announce that MORE

Kim Kardashian needs Google Alerts about herself!

Kim Kardashian

Hope you enjoy this post guys, because it turns out someone on Kim Kardashian's team - or better yet, maybe even Kim herself - squee - might be reading this! While Kim leaving a salon in Santa Monica, a paparazzo snapped a shot of Kim and her phone, which showed that Kim was reading a Google Alert about herself. Which means there is a slight chance she's reading this right now, in which case, yes, those pants make your fake ass look fat, and all MORE

Don’t call Kim Kardashian’s marriage a ‘business decision’

Kim Kardashian and Kelly Ripa

Despite the fact that Kim Kardashian married Kris Humphries for the sake of turning it into a reality TV special and then making millions out of that TV special, she would really appreciate it if you didn't call it a "business decision". You know despite the fact that every decision she made regarding her marriage was about her business. Actually, every decision she makes is about her making more money and getting more attention, so I guess every MORE

A psychic helped Kim Kardashian get divorced?

Kim Kardashian

I remember when Kim Kardashian ended her big fake marriage after only seventy-two days, my first instinct was to role my eyes, mutter "well of course she is" and then cursing the horrid bitch for ruining Halloween for me. HALLOWEEN! You have some nerve, Kim ... anyway, prepare yourselves, because this next story will make your eyes roll so damn hard they pop out of your sockets and tear ass across the country: Kim filmed the "exact moment" she MORE

The Kardashian magazine will never exist!

The Kardashians

Because the Kardashians are not assaulting your eyeballs from enough media sources, Kris Jenner got it through her cavernous pit of greed and insecurity where her brain used to be that there needs to be a Kardashian magazine. You know, because you never see a Kardashian on a magazine cover, except for every single one of them. Anyway, a loving, all-powerful deity that created us looked down upon this, thought "Nah, the hell with that" and MORE

Old Navy is going after Kim Kardashian’s reputation

Kim Kardashian and Melissa Molinaro

In related news, Kim Kardashian has a reputation. Who knew? Anyway, as you might remember, Kim is currently in the middle of a lawsuit with retailer Old Navy after they cast a Kim lookalike in one of their commercials. Kim's pissed because how dare other people look like her while doing all the things she can't, like singing and acting and not looking like a constipated cat? Anyway, Old Navy is firing back, claiming that Kim is such an awful MORE

Kim Kardashian breaks down over her ‘marriage’

Kim and Khloé Kardashian

It's no secret that Kim Kardashian is doing everything she can to manipulate her "reality" television show to make herself look like the jilted, crushed victim and Kris Humphries look like Satan, despite the fact that he's just an idiot and she had her ass filled with pure concentrated evil and pee. Anyway, now Kim is making her editors work double time so that they can manipulate the show until it looks like she's actually capable of feeling MORE

Kim Kardashian allegedly knows how to fake it!

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner

Honestly, the only reason I put allegedly in the title is to cover my ass at this point. Anyway, here's another "bombshell" about how everything on Kim Kardashian's shows are fake. Some fans of the show noticed that in a scene between Kim and Kris Jenner involving the two of them discussing Kim's crumbling marriage in the back of a car, there are several plot holes, including impossible lighting, no actual emotions, and the fact that the two were MORE

Kim Kardashian is Elizabeth Taylor now!

Kim Kardashian

Elizabeth Taylor may have only died last year, but that certainly isn't stopping Kim Kardashian from digging up her lifeless body and trying to suck the talent and star power out of her. To promote her new 'True Reflection' perfume (Why does she need more perfume?) Kim went on Twitter and tweeted about how she was channeling the Hollywood legend in the ad campaign (see below), as long as you assume Dame Elizabeth was a piss-soaked, untalented MORE

Kim Kardashian is getting her own Barbie Doll

Kim Kardashian and Barbie

Remember how Kim Kardashian tweeted Barbie during Christmas, in order to wish an inanimate hunk of plastic and hair-like fiber a Merry Christmas? Turns out, that might have all just been a really shitty marketing ploy to introduce the world to Kim's new Barbie doll! As a special feature, the doll even gets famous when you submerge it in warm water! That comes out of a penis. I'm saying Kim is only famous because she got peed on. Starpulse MORE

Kim Kardashian is the 1%

Kim Kardashian

So I'm not sure you heard this, but there's a proposed initiative in California right now that, if passed, would raise taxes on those who make over a million bucks a year in order to help fund public schools. Because, and I know this must come as a shock, but it's probably a bit more important that little kids learn how to read than it is for the rich to have a few extra thousand dollars. In case you're wondering who they're really targeting MORE

Amber Rose: Kim Kardashian is a homewrecker!

Kanye West, Amber Rose and Kim Kardashian

A couple years ago, back before Kim Kardashian was the pop culture equivalent of Galactus (in that she's a giant, soulless monster who devours planets) when Kim was merely an annoying famewhore clawing for attention that I would casually ignore because I figured America would never stoop that low, you might remember that Kim was dating Reggie Bush before she broke things off and was spotted with Kanye West. Well, turns out Amber Rose remembers, MORE