When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Because it's a day that ends in Y, Kim Kardashian has decided that she hasn't annoyed you enough, which means Kim and her mother Kris Jenner has decided she will televise her marriage to the hot-but-incredibly-stupid Kris Humphries on E! (On a side note, a quick red flag here, fellas: If you marry someone whose domineering mother has the same name as you, RUN.) But that's not the best part of the story here. The best part is that Khloé and MORE
Fresh off her new engagement with a $2 million dollar ring (I'm sure the small African child who lost his arm to find that diamond must be beaming with pride), Kim Kardashian has now decided that she's writing a book now with her sisters because screw the English language! Well, I guess "write" might be a bit of a strong word. That famewhore will probably try to spell her own name using a spoonful of Alpha-bits while a ghostwriter tries to stop MORE
Remember when I told you about that show H8R, where useless celebrities go out and try to convince people they're not completely worthless by yelling at them like spoiled children who had their candy taken away? Well, the CW was kind enough to post two clips online from the show (hosted by Mario Lopez) featuring Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi and Kim Kardashian and I was completely right: It's awful! And I don't mean bad as in "wow, Two and a Half Men MORE
Yes yes, I know: Two Kim Kardashian posts in one day? Believe me, I hate this as much as you do. I am thoroughly disappointed in myself. I will make myself sit in a corner later. Anyway, it looks like Kim's boyfriend, Kris Humphries, proposed to her (I'm assuming at gunpoint at the behest of Kim's mother, Kris Jenner), so it looks like Kim is getting more publicity married or shall we say pre-divorced! Yay! Humphries popped the question with MORE
You'd figure that Kim Kardashian, a woman whose career started because of a sex tape and who absorbs publicity like a plant absorbs sunshine and water, wouldn't mind if someone featured a picture of her naked on an album cover. Except whoops! They did it without her permission (and without payment), and now she's demanding they remove the picture the used from one of her magazine shoots - Wait, which one was that again? The one she bitch-slapped MORE
You know what I love about reality shows? It's the fact that, unlike real, scripted shows wherein progress is marked by character growth and new ideas, reality TV's progress is based entirely on how morally bankrupt they can make it. Which is why they're making a show where they take the most contemptible people on the planet and make them harass the people who rightly hate them. The premise is simple enough - celebrities confront the people MORE
Despite posing on the cover of Turkish Cosmopolitan and then, not even twenty-four hours after the fact, agreeing to do another photoshoot with the magazine, Kim Kardashian wants you all to remember the Armenian Genocide now, and for Turkey to finally come clean about the brutal slayings. You know, just as long as it doesn't get in the way of her receiving money, fame and attention. Gotta remember what's important in life, huh Kim? “My MORE
Because it worked out so well for Khloé Kardashian, Kim Kardashian is reportedly looking to get married to her new beau, Kris Humphries (side note: HOLY CRAP, she's dating a guy with the same name as her mother, WEIRD!) because she can squeeze another reality show/magazine cover/couple of bucks out of it, and is completely and totally in love! Right, I bet she loves Kris about as much as she loves all her ancestors who died in the Armenian MORE
Did you know that there's a Turkish version of Cosmopolitan magazine? Yup, it's true! So basically, now the women of Turkey have their own version of the magazine that glorifies every negative female stereotype under the guise of feminism! Yay for them! Unfortunately, they just used Kim Kardashian on the cover of their latest issue, which is super awkward because it turns out Turkey is responsible for the Armenian Genocide, and April just so MORE
Know what happens when you combine the trailer park trashiness of Bret Michaels with the high-class trashiness of Kim Kardashian? Well, I’m not really sure, but I’m pretty sure it’s classified as biological warfare. Anyway, she and Bret apparently had a “sexy” conversation last month, which can only mean one thing: We’re all going to die. Go out, buy a semi-automatic, and trust no one. "She was like, 'Oh, this is beautiful. Nice MORE
Remember that ceasefire between Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian over who was the biggest, most annoying famewhore that everyone hates? Well, it's off. It turns out Paris made a veiled dig at Kim in an interview for the Associated Press, which means that we now get to deal with America's two most irritating people being irritated with each other. Now would be a good time to stock up on penecilin and RU-486. While Paris Hilton may no longer be MORE
Because clearly, even fashion photographers are plotting Kim Kardashian's eventual demise, someone decided to have Kim pose with a tiger, and unfortunately, everything ended without a hitch. Yes, someone sat Kim next to a large dangerous animal and absolutely nothing bad happened. Way to go, universe. I tried posing with the white tiger at our family photo shoot for Keeping Up with the Kardashians season six last week, but I was so scared!!!! MORE
Kim Kardashian is on the cover of the new issue of Self magazine because ... well, honestly I don't know why. Life isn't fair like that. Anyway, she told the magazine about the craziest hookup story she's ever read about herself involving her and Terrence Howard and how totally fake it is, which of course means that Kim probably banged him. And Kardashian -- who's dated Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and Gabriel Aubrey -- just laughs at stories MORE
I don't watch any of Kim Kardashian's shows, mostly because I have a functioning brain and I don't care what two whores and a wookie choose to do with their free time. That being said, I can make fun of it for being stupid, like in last night's episode where Kim thought a guy was gay because he knew that Louboutin shoes are red, except whoops! He wasn't gay. *Cue Laughtrack* On last night's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, the MORE
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