When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Justin Bieber's only been in Atlanta for about five seconds, but of course he's already having run-ins with the law, because have you seen the people around him? They'd tell Justin he could fly as long as they could get enough yes-men to act as his crash pad. Anyway, apparently Justin's bodyguards have been arrested for felony theft after stealing a photographer's camera, which ... yeah. Didn't take them terribly long, did it? TMZ reports MORE
So apparently, Justin Bieber was offered a plea deal in his DUI case, which any sensible person would have taken because ... well, have you seen his mugshot? Those eyes are as red and glazed as a red velvet doughnut. Except that would entail Justin being on probation and submitting to random drug tests, and no one in Justin's camp wants to actually make him act like a responsible adult, so Justin's turning down the plea deal and going to court to MORE
After making himself a persona non-grata in Los Angeles, Justin Bieber decided that he was going to move to Atlanta to connect to his hip-hop roots. Yes, the little white twink from Stratford, Ontario thinks he has hip-hop roots. Awwww, isn't he precious? Except his soon-to-be neighbors are fully aware of the kind of f*ckery he brings with him, and have banded together to try and stop the eventual swag-ification of their neighborhood. Via HuffPo MORE
A couple weeks back, we reported that Justin Bieber had another video of him taking a leak floating around out there, and it could be released because of Florida's open records law. Except now a judge is closely reviewing it to make sure it's appropriate for release. Billboard reports ... "The right of privacy cannot trump the right of access to public records," said Deanna Shullman, the attorney for the AP and several other media outlets. "My MORE
So apparently, after having one hell of a bad month and turning himself into a social pariah, Justin Bieber has decided to move to Atlanta. As in, the hip-hop capital of the US. It's adorable how he thinks he's hip-hop, ain't it? Anyway, TMZ immediately jumped on the opportunity to burst Justin's bubble, pointing out that even a small of weed will get you sent to jail for a decade while sizzurp lands you up to fifteen years. Oh, and Georgia also MORE
Yes, yes, I know: There's already a video of Justin Bieber urinating floating around out there. But this one is DIFFERENT. Because last time, he was pissing in some poor worker's mop bucket like the little jerk he is, but this time, he's pissing in jail and you can apparently see his penis. Which is funny, because I didn't know they made cameras with definition high enough to see something that small. BLAMMO! Right in the low-hanging fruit! TMZ MORE
All right you guys, I get it: An American journeyed up to Canada years ago, grabbed Justin Bieber, and turned him into a star because teenage girls will pay for anything as long as it has a cute face on it. Except then you ruined it and now you want to return him. Well HA! The jokes on you, because you can't deport him! At least not for another two years, because that's when his O-1 work permit ends and his crimes could make it impossible for him MORE
For a second there, it looked like Justin Bieber was going to get off easy in his vandalism and speeding/DUI charges. Granted, he'll still get off easy, because he's a rich celebrity in America and there's no group the justice system will bend over for faster, but now it'll just be a bit harder: Turns out, the evidence against him is mounting pretty quickly. We'll start off with his speeding/DUI charge, which might be back on since a GPS in his MORE
So yesterday, we all found out that Selena Gomez has gone in for a quiet rehab stay for pot, booze and Ambien after breaking things off. Well, there's some good news in all of this: Selena has finally been forbidden from being around Justin Bieber. Thank GAWD too; girl can do way better than the unevolved form of Vanilla Ice. Via HollywoodLife ... “Everyone between friends, family and handlers want Justin completely out of her life,” a MORE
When news first broke that Justin Bieber was on U.S. Custom's "always check" list, a lot of people wondered whether or not something that harsh would be necessary. Except it turns out, it totally is. RadarOnline reports that Justin was smoking weed on a flight and the fumes got so bad that the pilots had to put on oxygen masks just so they wouldn't end up getting high while PILOTING AN AIRCRAFT. According to an official report, the troubled MORE
Amid the burning empire that was once his career, Justin Bieber's last refuge has always been strip clubs. They were the one place where Justin could go and suck stripper nipples with his friends without the judgment of the haters. But lo, the darkness encroaches from all sides, as Justin has now been turned away from one of New York's biggest strip clubs. Page Six reports ... After he was turned away from a slew of Super Bowl parties, MORE
From what I've heard, based on a few people who've worked for her, Selena Gomez is apparently just super nice in real life and a complete professional. Well apparently, last month she quietly entered rehab to fight an addiction to booze, weed and Ambien. Although apparently she's also blaming it on Justin Bieber, which ... well, let TMZ explain it and then we'll discuss that part ... But we're told Selena's decision was largely based on"that MORE
For those of you who don't know, allow me to explain baptism: In the Christian faith, getting baptized is a sacrament meant to cleanse you of sin. Most of the time, we give it to babies so that we can get them on board early, although occasionally adults do it as a means of cleaning house. Well, after Justin Bieber's transgressions, he's decided to best move for him is to get baptized, because apparently you can just use sacraments to score MORE
So as it turns out, when you spend a year tarnishing your reputation in the most public way possible, certain people take notice. Certain people like US customs, who are not too keen on people going in and out of the states with lord only knows what. Anyway, now Justin Bieber has landed himself on the U.S. Customs and Border Protection watch list, which means he and his little group of enablers will always get the stop-and-frisk treatment MORE
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