When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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So, just gonna go ahead and ask this, but ... WHAT THE HELL? Selena Gomez, this is directed straight at you, because you're supposed to be the one who knows better. But seriously, what the hell? Justin Bieber? You're giving Justin another go? What were you thinking? "Oh, the last seventy-two times he turned into a raging douche beast on me and we broke up and it was awful, but I have a good feeling about round seventy-three!" Was his calling you MORE
All right kiddies, gather round, because I've got something to tell you: I'm currently bundled up in about five layers of sweater because I caught my boyfriend's cold. My throat is killing me, my head's swimming, my nose is on fire, and my level of "Bitch I can't even with you right now" is currently set to Eleven. Thousand. Eleven thousand. So here's Justin Bieber acting like a snotty little sh!t during his deposition, and oh my gawd you stupid MORE
In all the hubbub surrounding Justin Bieber's jailhouse pee videos -- look forward to Justin Bieber Pees In A Cup 3: Revenge of the Fallen -- I almost forgot that there are ton of other things he's in trouble for. Like that photographer who is suing Justin for allegedly sending a bodyguard to rough him up in Miami. And according to TMZ, that's not going terribly well, as Justin walked out of the deposition after they asked him questions about MORE
Oh gosh, there's another Justin Bieber jailhouse urination video. All right everyone, hold on tight, because we're doing this again ... All right, Justin enters the cell, banks around the corner, and a mystical black square is summoned from The Realm Time Forgot to cover his penis. Justin pees. And he pees. And he pees. YEEZUS H. CHRIST, this goes on for fifty seconds. How much has this kid had to drink? After nearly a minute, the accursed square MORE
UPDATE: Here's the sequel ... Justin Bieber Peeing Into A Cup 2: Electric Boogaloo All right, the latest jailhouse video of Justin Bieber is up on TMZ, and for the sake of those who can't watch it. I'm just going to transcribe it action for action. Here we go ... Okay, so some tool wearing a tacky-ass sweater is sitting in the middle of the screen. Off to the far left, Justin Bieber is transported into some sort of cell? A cop walks in MORE
Remember that jailhouse video of Justin Bieber urinating that was supposed to be released? Well, apparently there's a bit of a problem: The judge who okayed the release did so with the caveat that they had to blur Justin's little Bieber. For some reason though, Justin moves a lot when he pees, and they're having some trouble blurring a moving target. A tiny, moving target. TMZ reports ... Law enforcement sources tell us ... they fully intend MORE
I'll be honest here: sizzurp confuses me to no end. I mean, I know idiots have put everything in their bodies from animal tranquilizers to random chemicals they pull out from under the sink, but drinking cough syrup just sounds gross no matter how you try and spin it. Anyway, according to TMZ, it looks like Justin Bieber may already be back on the sizzurp, despite the fact that Atlanta has a pretty strict policy when it comes to codeine use MORE
Ever since Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up, Justin has done everything he could to burn down the bridge and salt the earth underneath it so that nothing could grow from that desecrated land. So of course, now he's apparently pining hard for Selena on Instagram, which is ever so romantic. Like if Lloyd Dobler took a huge dump all over Diane Court's doorstep and rolled around in it before he whipped out the boombox. I mean points for MORE
Remember that video footage of Justin Bieber in police custody we were talking about a few weeks ago? Well look at that, it's here! I'm sure bits and pieces will leak over the next few days, but for now, here's the first clip (via TMZ) featuring Justin trying and failing to walk a straight line during his sobriety test. In all fairness, he might not actually be high; it might be a matter of him wearing those big stupid Ronald McDonald clown MORE
Justin Bieber's only been in Atlanta for about five seconds, but of course he's already having run-ins with the law, because have you seen the people around him? They'd tell Justin he could fly as long as they could get enough yes-men to act as his crash pad. Anyway, apparently Justin's bodyguards have been arrested for felony theft after stealing a photographer's camera, which ... yeah. Didn't take them terribly long, did it? TMZ reports MORE
So apparently, Justin Bieber was offered a plea deal in his DUI case, which any sensible person would have taken because ... well, have you seen his mugshot? Those eyes are as red and glazed as a red velvet doughnut. Except that would entail Justin being on probation and submitting to random drug tests, and no one in Justin's camp wants to actually make him act like a responsible adult, so Justin's turning down the plea deal and going to court to MORE
After making himself a persona non-grata in Los Angeles, Justin Bieber decided that he was going to move to Atlanta to connect to his hip-hop roots. Yes, the little white twink from Stratford, Ontario thinks he has hip-hop roots. Awwww, isn't he precious? Except his soon-to-be neighbors are fully aware of the kind of f*ckery he brings with him, and have banded together to try and stop the eventual swag-ification of their neighborhood. Via HuffPo MORE
A couple weeks back, we reported that Justin Bieber had another video of him taking a leak floating around out there, and it could be released because of Florida's open records law. Except now a judge is closely reviewing it to make sure it's appropriate for release. Billboard reports ... "The right of privacy cannot trump the right of access to public records," said Deanna Shullman, the attorney for the AP and several other media outlets. "My MORE
So apparently, after having one hell of a bad month and turning himself into a social pariah, Justin Bieber has decided to move to Atlanta. As in, the hip-hop capital of the US. It's adorable how he thinks he's hip-hop, ain't it? Anyway, TMZ immediately jumped on the opportunity to burst Justin's bubble, pointing out that even a small of weed will get you sent to jail for a decade while sizzurp lands you up to fifteen years. Oh, and Georgia also MORE
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