Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber split up yet again!

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber

If you haven't been following them because, unlike me, you're not contractually obligated to care if Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are doing it, allow me to recap for you: They started dating a couple years back, and then they broke up, and then got back together, then broke up, then ... actually, just repeat that pattern about a billion times and you'll have a general idea. Anyway, it's been all of a week since they got back together, so here's MORE

Justin Bieber and the case of the stolen memory card!

Justin Bieber

It's been almost two weeks since Justin Bieber acted like a petulant teenager with no concept of reality or how his actions affect people around him, so according to TMZ, Justin decided to remind everyone of how hard he'll inevitably crash and burn by allegedly stealing a memory card from a photographer. Yes, how dare someone take pictures of a famous person while they're out in public! That's never happened before, right? The incident MORE

Justin Bieber might be going to space

Justin Bieber and Scooter Braun

Justin Bieber is quickly burning through whatever goodwill he and his stupid hair built up during the early days of his fame, so it only makes sense that he might want to get away from it all for a while. Well, according to NBC News, Justin may be leaving for space soon with his manager Scooter Braun. Hopefully, it's a one-way trip kinda deal like that one episode of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror where they fire all the annoying celebrities MORE

Tyler, The Creator tried to cover for Justin Bieber’s speeding

Justin Bieber and Tyler, The Creator

Ever since Justin Bieber was allegedly caught speeding and then almost squashed like a bug by Keyshawn Johnson, Bieber's defense was that Tyler, The Creator was actually the one driving, and Justin somehow managed to switch seats in the middle of it all so that Justin could park the car, which makes COMPLETE sense. Well, not really. Tyler tried to go on Twitter and admit to speeding, except according to TMZ, the Sheriff's department isn't buying MORE

Justin Bieber’s neighbors hate him

Justin Bieber

Last week, Justin Bieber was allegedly caught speeding around his gated community neighborhood and nearly had a fresh new a-hole stomped through his face by Keyshawn Johnson. Apparently, this isn't the first time this has happened, and Justin has been something of a neighbor from hell, so now TMZ is reporting that his neighbors are banding together to force the Home Owners Association to take action against Bieber ... Neighborhood sources tell MORE

Justin Bieber claims he wasn’t speeding

Justin Bieber

Yesterday, Justin Bieber was allegedly speeding around the streets of his gated community when Keyshawn Johnson decided to chase him down in his Prius and let him have it. Cut to today, where the cops are not only investigating Bieber's last speeding allegation (where he allegedly also spat at his neighbor) but are now investigating Bieber over his latest speeding accusation. Except now Justin is claiming that he wasn't speeding, it was someone MORE

Justin Bieber vs. Keyshawn Johnson

Justin Bieber vs. Keyshawn Johnson

I don't know much about fighting, but I do know enough to understand that Keyshawn Johnson, a former NFL wide-receiver who stands at 6'4 and weighs 212 lbs., would probably destroy Justin Bieber, the little bitch who sang "Baby" and clocks in at 5'7 and 110 lbs. Not just beat him, but outright destroy him. Which is almost what happened when Justin decided to go joy-riding down their shared residential street and Johnson, worried for his kids, MORE

Justin Bieber will sue you if you talk about his parties!

Justin Bieber

Because he's an artist and he wants you all to talk about his craft and to never again mention all that other bull, TMZ is reporting that Justin Bieber makes guests at his house parties sign a waiver that states that if any guest talks about what goes on at one of Bieber's parties, he can sue them for $5 Million. Because nothing says "welcome to my house!" like hanging a $5 Million sword of Damocles over your guests' head so that they don't MORE

Jon Bon Jovi called out Justin Bieber

Jon Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi has been playing for thirty years with his own band, and had to slowly but surely work his way up from playing small clubs to playing sold-out theatres around the world, all while remaining generally down to earth and humble. Justin Bieber was plucked from Youtube when he was a tween, has released only three LPs, and is now acting like someone who actually worked to earn his career. So of course, friggin' Bon Jovi has taken it upon MORE

Justin Bieber: Booed at the Billboard Music Awards!

Justin Bieber

The 2013 Billboard Music Awards were this weekend, which is kinda like the Grammys if the Grammys gave awards based on who was way too overexposed. Anyway, Justin Bieber won the first ever Milestone Award, which I guess means milestones are coming a lot sooner than they used to. The audience wasn't all that thrilled about his win either and proceeded to boo him while Justin tried to convince everyone that he's an artist. Oh, nurse. A real artist MORE

Justin Bieber may be prosecuted for spitting!

Justin Bieber

Fun story time! When I was a younger, my older brother had a friend who used to joy ride down residential streets, get into fights at the local bar, and basically acted like an entitled douche every opportunity he got. Why? Because his parents totally allowed it, and they were rich enough to bail him out every time. One day, the cops caught him driving drunk and threw the book at him. And you know what happened? He stopped acting like an asshole, MORE

A fan tried to hug Justin Bieber during a concert …

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber was performing in Dubai last night when a crazy fan decided to run on stage and tried to attack him with a hug. Cue the bodyguard, who tackled the Bieleber immediately and knocked over Justin's piano in the process. The weirdest part of it all? The music barely changes even while all hell breaks loose. Seriously, they flipped a friggin' piano and yet somehow the music remains almost completely unchanged. But no, that's totally how MORE

Justin Bieber’s Tour Bus: Busted for possession!

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber's very special train wreck tour of 2013 decided to make a pit stop in Stockholm, Sweden, where cops immediately swarmed Justin's tour bus and found narcotics (marijuana) and a taser. Oh, if only we had known that the vast majority of child stars grow up to be severely damaged adults with no grasp of reality or sense of responsibility for their actions! TMZ reports... We're told cops searched the bus in the parking garage of the MORE

Links: Justin Bieber abandoned yet another pet!

Justin Bieber's Pet Monkey Mally

→ Oh no! Justin Bieber has totally abandoned his poor pet monkey Mally over in Germany! Rickey → BeyoncĂ© banned photogs from her tour so no one will take an unflattering pic of her! Celebitchy → Is Kristen Stewart having a rendezvous with Rupert Sanders (again) in these photos? BuzzFeed → Rob Kardashian is crying all the time because his penis looks so small now? The Blemish → Rihanna is addicted to posting racy MORE