When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Fun Fact: it's been almost ten years since Mean Girls was released and cemented Lindsay Lohan as a promising, up-and-coming leading actress. And then she just bombed. Just imploded. Which is what happens when you're instilled with the belief that being a celebrity means you can do whatever you want with no repercussions. Lindsay's Mean Girls boyfriend, Jonathan Bennett, was recently spotted wearing a "Go to jail, Lindsay" shirt, so don't expect MORE
So last week, shortly after Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in lockdown rehab, TMZ broke the story that there are no actual lockdown rehabs in New York. So of course, LiLo screwed herself again, except now it's gotten even worse: According to TMZ, there's no such thing as lockdown rehab. At all. As in lawyer Mark Heller could have scored Lindsay a plea deal where she spent 90 days driving around on Rainbow Road and it would be about as MORE
Earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to ninety days of lockdown rehab for lying to the police, because hey, it didn't work the first two times but surely the third time's the charm! Except according to TMZ, Lindsay's registered as living in New York, where lockdown rehabs don't exist and now she might end up going to jail instead ... We've done some digging, contacting numerous rehab facilities in NY, and we're getting the same story MORE
So remember how Lindsay Lohan's upcoming court case was supposed to be presided over by a judge who prefers buying her defendants a Starbucks gift card instead of sending them to jail? Well, at the last minute, Lindsay's case will be heard by judge Stephanie Sautner, who you may remember was responsible for giving Lindsay her probation and basically told her that she never wanted to see her in court ever again. So yeah, Lindsay might be MORE
Yesterday, I said that despite the eight months of jail hanging over Lindsay Lohan's head, there was a pretty good chance she'd get off scot-free because come on, how can you stay mad at that bloated, botoxed face? Well it turns out the prosecutors are not effing around here, and are demanding that her probation be revoked ASAP. TMZ reports: According to the L.A. City Attorney's office, prosecutors want Lindsay's probation revoked because of MORE
In the past year, Lindsay Lohan lied to police over wreckless driving, punched a woman in the face (allegedly), and was the central suspect in a theft case that was dropped after the guy who got robbed conveniently refused to press charges. In a logical universe, LiLo would actually be forced to serve the eight months of jail time after her probation is revoked tomorrow, but this is reality, so Lindsay will probably be forced to watch an episode MORE
You have to love how we as a society have gotten to the point where Lindsay Lohan can go to jail and almost no one notices. Probably because she's always going to jail, or being threatened with jail, or avoiding jail by going to rehab and punching nurses in the face. It's always one of those three options. Anyway, Us Weekly reports that our lady of perpetual screwing-up checked herself into jail last night at 8:50 PM, where she dutifully MORE
So as it becomes ever clearer that no matter how hard she screws up, Lindsay Lohan will never go to jail because the California legal system has a serious case of derp-brain, Michael Lohan is picking up the Lohan jail time slack by being locked up in solitary confinement and making collect calls to Real Housewives. Yup, that just happened. From RadarOnline: Michael Lohan is locked up in jail in Florida in solitary confinement but RadarOnline MORE
Yesterday, I tweeted a joke about how Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to jail for 30 days, but since she's Lindsay, it'll only be six days, and since this is California, it'll only be five minutes. And I laughed and laughed because there's no way the California penal system is that completely broken, right? Well, it turns out my joke was actually the truth, because it looks like thanks to a bait-and-switch from the sheriff, Lindsay's jail sentence MORE
All right, so Lindsay Lohan will officially start her 30 days of jail time sometime within the week, and has another 270 days ready and willing to screw her into oblivion if she violates her parole. These are the details as gleaned from the live-feed of the trial from TMZ: The prosecution starts off by reminding everyone about all the ways Lindsay completely blew off her community service, and then Shawn Chapman Holley tries to bargain them MORE
This just in from TMZ ... Lindsay Lohan actually got sentenced to jail for 120 days (stemming from that whole stolen necklace caper, while on probation) I totally thought she was going to skate out of this drama too (as did Jeremy this morning) but it sounds like Judge Stephanie Sautner was just completely fed up with all of her drama and decided to throw the book at her, in addition to jail she was sentenced to 480 hours of community service MORE
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