So the Super Bowl was last night …

Beyoncé

Men threw an egg-shaped ball up and down a field a bunch of times until time was up and then someone got shiny metal. AMERICA! Here are all the the little parts that mattered, because like hell am I going to spend energy on this above the bare minimum required: The Baltimore Ravens won 34-31 over the San Francisco 49ers. If that means anything to you, it's probably because you either won or lost a lot of money on it. Although I do have a MORE