Another Day, Another Plea Deal for Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Mugshot

Oh Justin Bieber, I'm slightly amazed that you're still a thing. Don't get me wrong, I get that pop music in general is mostly a garbage soup with the occasional cracker of excellence rising to the top. I love those crackers. But even by those standards, most of your musical output has been underwhelming compared to your personal life. Anyway, it looks like you have a second plea deal, this one stemming from your DUI arrest earlier this year. So MORE

Justin Bieber: Blaming his drunk walk on a broken foot!

Justin Bieber

So despite the fact that Justin Bieber's post-arrest toxicology report tested positive for weed and Xanax (which he apparently doesn't have a prescription for) and the fact that Justin blew a .04 in his breathalyzer test, which is double the legal limit for someone under the legal drinking age, Justin is trying to defend himself by saying that he wasn't drunk! He just had a broken foot. Sure. Sure bitch. Page Six reports ... The police summary MORE

Justin Bieber’s DUI trial has been set for May 5th

Justin Bieber

Remember that time Justin Bieber got arrested for driving around, allegedly under the influence? Of course you do, because literally one out of every three gossip stories is at the very least tangentially related to the incident. Anyway, it looks like his trial has been set for May 5th, and thus far he's looking at a whole slew of charges, which I'm sure he'll get community service for. Via THR ... Justin Bieber's Miami Beach trial date has MORE

Watch the first clip of Justin Bieber’s jail video

Justin Bieber

Remember that video footage of Justin Bieber in police custody we were talking about a few weeks ago? Well look at that, it's here! I'm sure bits and pieces will leak over the next few days, but for now, here's the first clip (via TMZ) featuring Justin trying and failing to walk a straight line during his sobriety test. In all fairness, he might not actually be high; it might be a matter of him wearing those big stupid Ronald McDonald clown MORE

Justin Bieber is going to stand trial for his DUI

Justin Bieber Mugshot

So apparently, Justin Bieber was offered a plea deal in his DUI case, which any sensible person would have taken because ... well, have you seen his mugshot? Those eyes are as red and glazed as a red velvet doughnut. Except that would entail Justin being on probation and submitting to random drug tests, and no one in Justin's camp wants to actually make him act like a responsible adult, so Justin's turning down the plea deal and going to court to MORE

Let’s talk: Justin Bieber’s mugshot

Justin Bieber Mugshot

Well, you know the drill: Justin Bieber got arrested early this morning in Miami Beach for drag racing while inebriated (a combo of drugs and alcohol), so here comes the inevitable mugshot, via Gawker. Now, this next part is about to get ranty, but I'm just going to go through everyone's reactions to Justin Bieber's arrest and point out the flaws in those arguments ... Reaction #1: Justin Bieber's just a kid, we should be going easy on MORE

Justin Bieber: Arrested for DUI in Miami Beach!

Justin Bieber

Oh this was so bound to happen sooner or later ... Justin Bieber was arrested (after getting his party on at a club, pictured above) early this morning down in Miami Beach for DUI (drugs and alcohol use were suspected). At first Justin resisted arrest (of course he did) and cursed out the cops (of course he did), after they pulled him over for speeding when they realized he was drunk and high. Oh good times for Justin, whose passenger in his MORE

Lamar Odom got arrested for a DUI

Lamar Odom

Remember how Lamar Odom went missing after every found out he had an alleged drug problem? Well, somehow the whole messy situation is getting worse before it gets any better, because now Lamar has been arrested for a DUI. TMZ reports ... Lamar Odom was arrested for "driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs" early Friday morning ... TMZ has learned. The bust occurred in the San Fernando Valley at 3:54 AM. Lamar -- who was driving a MORE

Reese Witherspoon talks about her arrest!

Reese Witherspoon

It's been a little over a week since Reese Witherspoon and her husband Jim Toth got arrested for getting stupid drunk and then driving, so here she is trying to smooth the whole thing over, except she kinda just makes the whole thing worse when she says that she told the officer who arrested her that she was pregnant. Turns out, (A) she wasn't pregnant, and (B) I'm pretty sure driving drunk while pregnant is bad on SO MANY LEVELS. Honestly, maybe MORE

Reese Witherspoon: You’re about to find out who I am!

Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth

As much as I loved Legally Blonde, I kinda lost a lot of respect for Reese Witherspoon when she decided to start slut-shaming Kim Kardashian at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards, despite the fact that she was at an awards show best known for that one time Sacha Baron Cohen sat his ass in Eminem's face. So in a bit of ironic retribution, Reese and her husband got SMASHED last night, drove drunk into oncoming traffic, and when they eventually got pulled MORE

Amanda Bynes needs Obama’s help with her DUI

Amanda Bynes

After months of seeing how much alcohol someone needs to drink before the roads of West Hollywood begin to look like Mario Kart, Amanda Bynes has officially been charged with DUI (she's pleading not guilty), which carries a maximum sentence of six months. Although realistically, she'll probably only be in there for a couple minutes before she's back out again because this is California we're talking about. Anyway, showing the kind of judgement MORE

Jenna Jameson got arrested for a DUI

Jenna Jameson

Earlier in the morning today, Jenna Jameson sucked a few too many down (1) rammed herself head-first into a pole (2) and was then taken down by men in uniform. (THREE! Three sexual innuendos in one opening sentence! Ah! Ah! Ah!) Anyway, TMZ released the tape from the 911 call, and it's all kinds of messy and depressing. TMZ reports: TMZ obtained the 911 call made by a woman who claims she witnessed the porn legend driving like a drunk person MORE

Amanda Bynes’ dad thinks she doesn’t drink?

Amanda Bynes

So last Friday, Amanda Bynes got super drunk and side-swiped a cop car, while trying to avoid it, because I'm guessing she wanted her DUI to be as ironic as it was hilarious (her lovely mugshot is below). Unfortunately, it happened on Good Friday, so everyone kind of just swept it into the 'To Mock' pile while we gorged ourselves on candy brought to us by a giant rabbit demon dressed as a pedophile. Anyway, Amanda's dad has stepped into proclaim MORE

Xtina got arrested for getting duh-RUNK!

Christina Aguilera and Matt Rutler

You know, it took a while but I do believe this is the first celebrity DUI of the year. Which is kind of a shocker since I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen's blood is 80% heroin at this point, but I digress. Anyway, Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, were both arrested last night! He was found to be driving under the influence while Xtina was thrown in the drunk tank. Aguilera was arrested at 2:45 AM and booked at the West MORE