When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Lindsay Lohan is currently still in rehab and as far as we can tell, is actually making strides towards eliminating the personality problems that keep getting her into trouble. Unfortunately, Dina Lohan is pretty happy with how her life is going, and instead of following in Lindsay's footsteps, she's getting sued for bailing on a $4,000 bill she racked up at a charity event. Why? Because DINA LOHAN that's why. TMZ reports ... Chakmakian says MORE
We've been pretty happy about Lindsay Lohan hunkering down and taking her rehab seriously, and not just because we've ran out of ways to say "TURN IT AROUND, BITCH!" We're honestly, genuinely happy she's taking responsibility for herself. But of course, something has to go wrong, so here come her parents of the year Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan to take a big crap all over her progress by refusing to play nice for Lindsay's family therapy MORE
It's pretty much universally agreed upon that the root of Lindsay Lohan's problems are her parents, both of whom have failed at even the most basic principles of raising a kid in the most spectacular ways possible. So of course, The Betty Ford Center is trying to bring in Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan so that they can they can all get some family therapy. Come back tomorrow when the three of them escape from Betty Ford and go on a drunken MORE
At this point, Lindsay Lohan's famewhoring parents have divulged enough dirty details about their daughter's life that we can basically pinpoint the precise moment where they ruined LiLo forever. But of course, you can never not make enough money off of destroying a human being you created, so now both Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan are getting their own tell-all book deals. This is such a crime against American literature that I'm pretty sure God MORE
What? Lindsay Lohan is living with Dina Lohan in a foreclosed-upon house? HAHA! Oh you. Those reports are all wrong, because Lindsay has actually been living in a fancy loft in NYC's Soho for only the most elegant people this whole time. And by "this whole time," I mean "as soon as she found out people were talking about she was living with her mom." Weird how that works. Via RadarOnline ... “Lindsay was absolutely mortified and humiliated MORE
Recently, Lindsay Lohan's bank account dried up because, as it turns out, spending all your money on legal fees and gin while not actually working isn't as financially sound as you would think it is. So Lindsay moved back in with her mother, Dina Lohan, who I'm sure was just thrilled to have her human ATM daughter home with her. Except it turns out, since Lindsay isn't making any money and since Dina's only method of making money is by leeching MORE
Because today is apparently "stupid soul-rotting pseudo-celebrities getting TV shows" day, here's Dina Lohan's interview with Extra, where she tells Mario Lopez how she wants to be on Dancing with the Stars, despite the fact that she can't and she isn't. Of course, this has nothing to do with the fact that Lindsay Lohan turned down a spot on the show, or the fact that Dina's only method of supporting herself is to claw through Lindsay's scraps. MORE
Over New Years, a severely broke Lindsay Lohan somehow managed to fly to London with her mother so that she could party it up with a rich Prince in exchange for $100,000. Joke all you want, but at least she's actually doing something that makes her money. So of course, Michael Lohan sniffed the air suspiciously, smelled a story about Lindsay, and immediately ran to RadarOnline to call his daughter a prostitute and Dina Lohan a pimp in exchange MORE
→ Dina thinks her daughter Lindsay Lohan is messed up because her dad is messed up! Celebitchy → Here are the thirteen worst things that can happen to you at Downton Abbey! BuzzFeed → Is there trouble in paradise for Harry Styles of One Direction + Taylor Swift? PopCrush → Need inspiration to quit smoking/drinking/drugging? These pics of LiLo should help! Yeeeah → Kim Kardashian and Kanye West rejected a big paycheck MORE
So remember how Lindsay Lohan said she was just going to stay in and not party on New Year's Eve? Well, funny story... She actually meant to say, "I will do the complete opposite of that, and get paid $100,000 for it from some random, rich Prince. And also my mother Dina Lohan will be there too for some reason, because that doesn't add an entirely new, layer of creepy frosting onto this moist delicious cake of WTF?" From Confidenti@l ... She MORE
So remember how Lindsay Lohan swore up and down that she was going to stay in on New Year's Eve? Guess how long it took before pictures of LiLo out at night with her mother Dina Lohan in tow looking like a hot boo-boo mess? NOT VERY. So here comes Michael Lohan, to simultaneously be the voice of reason and also a complete a-hole, via RadarOnline ... "Can you believe this?" the outspoken show business parent told us exclusively of images of MORE
Some of you might remember a couple years ago when Paris Hilton's storage locker was auctioned off, and a bunch of incriminating stuff ended up exposed for everyone to see. Well, now it's happening to Lindsay Lohan, and you know your career has gone straight to hell when you start accidentally emulating Paris. Actually, purposely emulating Paris is probably even worse, so let's just cut our losses here and say that Paris is the origin of all MORE
I'm not sure if you heard this, but last week, Lindsay Lohan found out that she had a half-sister named Ashley Horn after Father of the Year Michael Lohan took a paternity test on a daytime talk show because that's how he rolls. You would figure that having a blood relative who is at this point more-or-less sane and stable would be a good thing for LiLo, except it turns out she's adamant about no wanting anything to do with the only non-crackhead MORE
Despite the fact that no one asked her, Dina Lohan sat down with Entertainment Tonight to tell everyone how much she absolutely hates cocaine. Just detests the stuff, really. I mean, could you imagine a member of the Lohan family partaking in cocaine? Don't answer that. Did Lindsay Lohan lie about her mother having an alleged cocaine problem? Dina Lohan sets the record straight for ET's Christina McLarty. "Absolutely lied. We were having an MORE
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