Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris’ wedding is back on

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Remember Crystal Harris? She was that Playboy Playmate who backed out of her wedding to Hugh Hefner at the last minute, then spent every waking hour afterwards bad-mouthing him. So of course they're getting married because this sounds like a healthy, loving relationship. LA Times reports: The 86-year-old and the 26-year-old are allegedly engaged again and aiming to say their vows on New Year's Eve, sources told TMZ over the weekend. Apparently MORE

Crystal Harris keeps on digging for gold!

Crystal Harris

After seeing Holly Madison rake in money and attention by insuring her $2 boobs for $1 Million (truly a sound investment, if you're trying to lose all your money) Crystal Harris has decided to hop onto the selling out tacky useless shit bandwagon by hawking the engagement ring Hugh Hefner gave her to let him slap his wrinkled penis against her forehead. Picture it ... aaaaaaaaand you know what hell is like. Via TMZ: A diamond isn't always MORE

Crystal Harris wants her own reality show!

Crystal Harris

Oh look, more whores being whorey! Yeah, apparently this is going to be the theme of the day. Anyway, months after she called off her own fake wedding because no amount of money is worth having 85-year-old balls in your mouth every day, Crystal Harris has decided that she's interesting enough to warrant her own TV show despite the fact that useless blonde whores are literally a dime a dozen. No, seriously, I picked up three dozen at the farmer's MORE

Crystal Harris: Hugh lasted two seconds!

Hugh Hefner and Crsytal Harris

Continuing in the long-standing tradition of gold diggers talking to the media in order to keep themselves from having to get a real job, Crystal Harris decided to go on Sirius XM's Howard Stern Show to talk about her sex life with Hugh Hefner and- HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRG! Oh God ... oh God, I'm sorry, I just ... vomited a liBLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Damn you to hell, Crystal! Talk about a low blow. After dumping Hugh Hefner just days before MORE

Crystal Harris “loves” Hugh Hefner!

Heidi Montag and Crystal Harris

Because apparently, marrying a famewhoring douchebag for the sake of a shitty reality show that got canceled makes someone an expert on romance, Heidi Montag told Ryan Seacrest that Crystal Harris still loves Hugh Hefner. Yeah, I'm sure that's why he left him days before the wedding then pawned the ring off. Nothing says "I love you!" like capitalizing off your failed wedding. “She knows what’s right for her life and it’s her life and MORE

Hugh Hefner is also gonna be just fine!

Anna Sophia Berglund and Hugh Hefner

While Crystal Harris surrounds herself with stupid blonde whores, Hugh Hefner's been off surrounding himself with stupid blonde whores, because now that I think about it, these two were meant for each other. Anyway, despite only being dumped last week, Hugh Hefner is already dating another Playboy bunny. HA! And they made fun of him when he bought a back-up skank ... well who's laughing now, suckas?! According to our sources, Hef has a new MORE

Crystal Harris is gonna be just fine!

Crystal Harris

Now that her marriage to Hugh Hefner has been canned and the date has been passed, Crystal Harris decided to put that part of herself behind and party it up with Heidi Montag, because what better way to forget about your old life spent hanging around dumb, fake, blonde whores then by OH WAIT. Hugh Hefner's runaway bride celebrated what would have been her wedding day on Saturday poolside in Las Vegas with friends, including Heidi Montag. "I MORE

Crystal Harris left Hugh Hefner over second thoughts?

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Now that the dust has more or less settled and everyone has come down from the initial shock of another blonde gold-digging whore refusing to marry an old guy because he didn't have enough money, Crystal Harris is now telling anybody who will listen that she actually just had second thoughts about marrying Hugh Hefner (money), that it was a mutual agreement (money) and that she wants some peace (money). "For a while, I'd been having second MORE

Five Things Wrong: Crystal Harris’ new Playboy cover!

Crystal Harris - Playboy Magazine

So in what is easily the worst timing ever, Crystal Harris' new Playboy magazine cover has leaked onto the Internet the day after she and Hugh Hefner announced their wedding was off. And what it lacks in foresight, is makes up for in sheer, pure, unadulterated awkwardness. Don't believe me? See for yourself. #1: Whoever the hell decided it would be hot to dress a 25-year-old woman as an 85-year-old man? You are a sex criminal now. You wouldn't MORE

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris’ wedding is off!

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Shockingly, the engagement between the 85-year-old womanizing millionaire and the 25-year-old whore fell through yesterday, after it was revealed that Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris called off their upcoming wedding, which was going to take place this upcoming weekend. If I had to guess why, it's probably because she's a dumbass gold-digger who didn't want his octogenarian balls on her chin and he thinks woman are basically all just Fleshjacks MORE

Hugh Hefner thinks he’s 20!

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

So as we edge ever closer to Hugh Hefner's signing away his entire fortune to a 25-year-old gold-digger wedding to Crystal Harris, Hef decided to open up about his relationship and how he's "consistent" because he's still banging women in their 20's just like when he was younger. The only difference is that now they're only dating him for his money while simultaneously trying not to vomit every time his tube-sock-full-of-mashed-potatoes touches MORE

You’re invited to Hugh Hefner’s pre-divorce!

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Because there's nothing more romantic than inviting people to witness the beginning of the sham wedding that will inevitably end in a messy divorce where you lose half of everything you own, Hugh Hefner's wedding invites are reportedly being sent out, because everyone needs to know the exact moment a succubus sucks a man's soul out and devours it in front of a room full of stunned on-lookers. Along with a photo of the hard-to-get card Hef, MORE

Hugh Hefner apparently hates money!

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Because let's face it, at this point Hugh Hefner is so goddamn close to death he can teabag the grim reaper, The Hef apparently decided to marry Crystal Harris without a prenup despite the fact that she's a quarter of his age and in all likelihood will smother him with a pillow for the inheritance the first chance she gets. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the- Goddammit, NO. You will wait until your honeymoon to strangle MORE

Kendra wasn’t invited to Hef’s pre-divorce!

Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris and Kendra Wilkinson

Because there isn't a minor inconvenience that Kendra Wilkinson can't milk into a full-on apocalypse, everyone's favorite alarmist tittie-flasher is now complaining about how she wasn't invited to Hugh Hefner's wedding to that blonde tramp (aka Crystal Harris) one-fourth his age that he'll eventually end up divorcing, assuming he doesn't die first of a heart attack or some other Viagra-induced medical emergency. "I haven't gotten my save the MORE