Art hits to close to home for Doug Hutchison!

Doug Hutchison, who you might remember as the 51-year-old man who is currently banging 17-year-old Courtney Stodden and absolutely nothing else, was recently offered a role in a movie where he would be play a 51-year-old man who bangs a sixteen-year-old popstar. I know, a total stretch. Give this man all the Oscars! Well, Doug apparently dropped out of the only acting job he could ever hope to have now that everyone knows he's a pedophile because MORE

Courtney Stodden went to church!

So in case you couldn't tell from the completely out of place Bible verses littering Courtney Stodden's Twitter feed, in between her alliterated child porn missives, Courtney is apparently some sort of Christian. I'm not exactly sure which kind she is, but I'm guessing it's whichever branch of Christianity says it's okay to lovelessly ride a 51-year-old cock into infamy. Sooooooo ... one that doesn't exist. Anyway, Courtney decided to pretend MORE

Courtney Stodden: One of VH1’s ‘Winners of 2011′

I'm guessing Courtney Stodden really did get that reality television deal with VH1, because the cable network decided to choose her as one of their 40 Winners of 2011. I'm not sure what the contest was, but if I had to venture a guess? Either "51-year-old dick eating competition" or "most illegal fake titties in pop culture." Or it could have been "Twitter account that sounds most like Dr. Seuss trying his hand at dirty talk." Anyone of those MORE

Courtney Stodden’s boobs are probably fake!

Courtney Stodden

As I mentioned just yesterday, teen bride Courtney Stodden made an appearance on Dr. Drew Pinsky's new show Lifechangers, because ... ummmmm, underage gold-digging whores will change your life somehow? Anyway, step one in Dr. Drew's ploy for those pedophile viewers was to get an ultrasound of Courtney's big fake underage boobs. Of course, this being a television show where people bend over backwards for attention whores, the fake famewhore doctor MORE

Dr. Drew investigated Courtney Stodden’s boobs!

Courtney Stodden

I'm not sure how much of a draw seventeen-year-old fake boobs are, but someone on Dr. Drew Pinsky's new show must think they're ratings magnets or something because Us Weekly reports that the good famewhoring doctor decided to invite Courtney Stodden and her creepy plastic-pedo husband Doug Hutchison onto the show so that Dr. Drew could touch her big fake child jugs and get an ultrasound of them. You know, just in case you were wondering what was MORE

Courtney Stodden has the best mom ever!

Behind every great famewhore is a terrible mom who really wanted to be famous when she was younger, but could never quite reach it because they have no discernible talent whatsoever and ended up getting impregnated on prom night. So the next best thing is to turn they're children into little fame sponges they can squeeze the nectar out of. Case in point: Courtney Stodden's mom, Krista Keller, managed to worm her way into an interview with The MORE

Courtney Stodden goes ‘natural’

When you think of Courtney Stodden, what do you think of? Chances are, you just thought of a wall of make-up trying to devour itself, right? Well Courtney decided to show everyone that she's more than just a pretty, poorly painted-on face by going out without make-up! By which we mean she went out in make-up, but she just wore enough to make her face look approximately human. Either that or her face is naturally about three shades lighter than MORE

Courtney Stodden’s Halloween jailbait costume!

It's Halloween today, which means that it is your duty to take a normal, every day costume and make it sluttier. Which isn't that hard because when it comes to couture, "sluttier" is synonymous with "a couple inches shorter with a deeper neckline". Ta-da! Costume solved. Anyway, Courtney Stodden I guess decided to dress as a slutty version of herself, because she doesn't know what the word "redundant" means. Oh, and Doug Hutchison did the same MORE

Guess which pumpkin slut Patton Oswalt ran into?

Patton Oswalt/Pheobe Price

Super fun pop quiz time! If you've been on the Internet in the past few hours you've probably heard this one, but for those who haven't, here's your quiz: Patton Oswalt went to a pumpkin patch recently with his family, and a certain skanky famewhore was there posing for the paparazzi she paid to tag along with her because that's the only reason people care about her. Patton tweeted the whole thing and completely destroyed her, because that's just MORE

Courtney Stodden competed in Miss Washington Teen ’10

Courtney Stodden

It's hilarious to see all these new items pop up about Courtney Stodden's past, all touting the long-ago time when Courtney was but a comely lass of 15, and then you realize that oh yeah, THAT WAS LAST YEAR. Anyway, here she is competing in the Miss Washington Teen 2010 pageant (Donald Trump needs to start his hoes off young, ya hurrrrrrd?) while RadarOnline refers to her fifteen-year-old body as sexy because ... wait, WHAT?! Just one year MORE

Say hello to the old Courtney Stodden!

Courtney Stodden

Ever since she first inexplicably shot to fame by marrying a fifty-one-year-old character actor, Courtney Stodden has been vocally defending her realness. Oh, I'm sorry, her "rillness". As in, her "rill" hair, her "rill" lips, her "rill" unmoving forehead, and her "rill" beachball-sized boobs. You know, because all seventeen-year-old girls rilly look like third-degree burnt showgirls. Anyway, turns out that there are actually a shitload of MORE

Courtney Stodden talks about the pumpkin patch!

Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison

I think both Jeremy Feist and I are slightly fascinated (and freaked out) by teen bride / famewhore Courtney Stodden (is she really just seventeen-years-old?!), and she just sat down with her hubby Doug Hutchison (51) to discuss the recent incident of getting kicked out of a Los Angeles pumpkin patch for lewd behavior with Dr. Drew Pinksy, watch the clip below. I really hope Courtney gets her own reality show, I could listen to her talk for hours MORE

Anderson Cooper takes on Courtney Stodden!

So today, my perfectly pleasant peach Anderson Cooper and his luscious white locks of love fired back those haters of the voluptuous va-va-voom goddess, Courtney Stodden, after they had the nerve to kick her (and hubby Doug Hutchison) out of a pumpkin patch, even though Mark 4:20 says that he who is without sin must bang a teenager or something. I don't know, thinking like Courtney just makes me hearing the mocking laughter of forgotten demons. MORE

Courtney Stodden got kicked out of the pumpkin patch!

UPDATE: Hear what Courtney and Doug have to say about getting kicked out of the pumpkin patch! Because Jeremy Feist can't have all the fun ... even though I don't live in California, I'm very familiar with the pumpkin patches in Los Angeles that open up around this time of year. It's the place where "famous" people on the D-list and lower take their kids for a seasonal photo op. Not one to pass up a chance to act like a giant whore in public MORE