When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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It's Halloween today, which means that it is your duty to take a normal, every day costume and make it sluttier. Which isn't that hard because when it comes to couture, "sluttier" is synonymous with "a couple inches shorter with a deeper neckline". Ta-da! Costume solved. Anyway, Courtney Stodden I guess decided to dress as a slutty version of herself, because she doesn't know what the word "redundant" means. Oh, and Doug Hutchison did the same MORE
Super fun pop quiz time! If you've been on the Internet in the past few hours you've probably heard this one, but for those who haven't, here's your quiz: Patton Oswalt went to a pumpkin patch recently with his family, and a certain skanky famewhore was there posing for the paparazzi she paid to tag along with her because that's the only reason people care about her. Patton tweeted the whole thing and completely destroyed her, because that's just MORE
It's hilarious to see all these new items pop up about Courtney Stodden's past, all touting the long-ago time when Courtney was but a comely lass of 15, and then you realize that oh yeah, THAT WAS LAST YEAR. Anyway, here she is competing in the Miss Washington Teen 2010 pageant (Donald Trump needs to start his hoes off young, ya hurrrrrrd?) while RadarOnline refers to her fifteen-year-old body as sexy because ... wait, WHAT?! Just one year MORE
Ever since she first inexplicably shot to fame by marrying a fifty-one-year-old character actor, Courtney Stodden has been vocally defending her realness. Oh, I'm sorry, her "rillness". As in, her "rill" hair, her "rill" lips, her "rill" unmoving forehead, and her "rill" beachball-sized boobs. You know, because all seventeen-year-old girls rilly look like third-degree burnt showgirls. Anyway, turns out that there are actually a shitload of MORE
I think both Jeremy Feist and I are slightly fascinated (and freaked out) by teen bride / famewhore Courtney Stodden (is she really just seventeen-years-old?!), and she just sat down with her hubby Doug Hutchison (51) to discuss the recent incident of getting kicked out of a Los Angeles pumpkin patch for lewd behavior with Dr. Drew Pinksy, watch the clip below. I really hope Courtney gets her own reality show, I could listen to her talk for hours MORE
So today, my perfectly pleasant peach Anderson Cooper and his luscious white locks of love fired back those haters of the voluptuous va-va-voom goddess, Courtney Stodden, after they had the nerve to kick her (and hubby Doug Hutchison) out of a pumpkin patch, even though Mark 4:20 says that he who is without sin must bang a teenager or something. I don't know, thinking like Courtney just makes me hearing the mocking laughter of forgotten demons. MORE
UPDATE: Hear what Courtney and Doug have to say about getting kicked out of the pumpkin patch! Because Jeremy Feist can't have all the fun ... even though I don't live in California, I'm very familiar with the pumpkin patches in Los Angeles that open up around this time of year. It's the place where "famous" people on the D-list and lower take their kids for a seasonal photo op. Not one to pass up a chance to act like a giant whore in public MORE
Remember when 17-year-old child bride / famewhore Courtney Stodden announced that she was getting her own reality TV show, because apparently publicly having sex with older men when you're a teen opens a lot of doors these days? Well, in case you were wondering who would be dumb enough to stick a child prostitute on television, we finally have our answer: VH1. RadarOnline (of course) reports: “I had so much fun at the meeting with VH1 and I MORE
Have I ever mentioned I love RuPaul? Because I totally do. I love her. And just when I thought my love for her couldn't grow any stronger, she went ahead and trolled Courtney Stodden on Twitter, and of course, the teenage prostitard totally bought it. HA! Classic. @Rupaul: Dear @CourtneyStodden, I ask that U guide my thoughts, my feelings & my perceptions AMEN @CourtneyStodden: @RuPaul Mmm... I understand you - & YOU are Beautiful! MORE
In the one and only intelligent decision Facebook has ever made, teen bride famewhore Courtney Stodden was permanently banned from Facebook for "inappropriate sexual content", which is fancy legalese code for "stop posting your weird, sick, child porn all over the site, you teenage prostitute." So of course, Courtney thinks they're just kicking her off because they're just jealous of her beauty. The beauty she paid thousands of dollars for. From MORE
Because you just can't keep a good girl (read: teenage prostitute) down, Courtney Stodden somehow made her way to Los Angeles after saving up enough back alley handjob money to get her and her creepy 51-year-old husband, actor Doug Hutchison, bus tickets down to the city. Once she arrived in Hollywood, Courtney took time out of her busy, busy schedule of ... I don't know. Old people dick? Yeah that sounds right. She took time out of her busy, MORE
Here's a fun game! Seventeen-year-old famewhore bride Courtney Stodden spoke to RadarOnline yesterday about her wedding night with 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison, and they went ahead and posted the transcript online because they're just begging to be investigated for peddling child porn now. Anyway, here's the game: read through this shit and see how far you can get before you lose any and all faith in humanity. I got to three sentences. See if MORE
Courtney Stodden, WHO IS SEVENTEEN-YEARS-OLD, somehow managed to talk her 51-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND Doug Hutchison, into taking her to Hollywood for Labour Day Weekend, which I apparently missed because I generally try not to follow the actions of a child prostitute because I'm pretty sure that counts as pedophilia. Anyway, here's some of Courtney's hilarious tweets, where her complete lack of self-awareness is matched only by her desire to make MORE
Guess who turned seventeen yesterday? Yes, it's America's favorite burn-victim-turned-child-prostitute, Courtney Stodden! According to RadarOnline, everyone's favorite 51-year-old-banging, lizard faced whore celebrated her big one-seven, which makes her still a child, by going out shopping with her husband Doug Hutchison, who is in his fifties and is sticking his dick in an underage teenager, for lingerie. This has to be a felony. It just HAS to MORE
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