When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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It's been something like two months since Courtney Stodden has graced our blog with her "rillness", and to be honest, I just kind of assumed she was dead. That sounds super bad, I know, but ... have you seen her? She is the reason why we have to remind people not to eat the little packets of silica gel you find in boxes of electrical equipment. Anyway, it looks like Courtney has finally found her way to that hallowed respite for the brainless, MORE
Today is the start of a long weekend up here in Canada because of Victoria Day! Although it's not really a holiday, but we get an extra day to do nothing, so we just take it plus there's fireworks) so while we go get ready to celebrate practically nothing, I'm just going to go ahead and leave you with this new video of teen bride and famewhore extraordinaire Courtney Stodden pretending to be Hello Kitty, as interpreted by someone who has no idea MORE
Episode 1 in the continuous YouTube series of Courtney Stodden's Countdown to her 18th birthday -- Watch her as she deals with a sprained foot injury. 135 days and counting ... 0:00 - Just so you all know, everyone who laughs at my pain? Dead to me. You hear me? DEAD LIKE LINCOLN!!! 0:10 - So the whole premise of the show is that it's a countdown to the moment Courtney Stodden is legally doable, which adds a whole new layer of creepy MORE
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Because there's really nothing funnier than stupid, no-talent famewhores being made fun of in front of millions of people, Gossip Girl decided to take a shot at Courtney Stodden during the show, basically saying that no one actually knows who she is, and the people who do find her about as sexy and likeable as a landmine. But of course, Courtney is dumb as hell and starved for attention, so all she heard was "blah blah blah Courtney Stodden MORE
All of a sudden, I get the feeling Khloé Kardashian may have been onto something ... anyway, for the newest spot, PETA has fallen back on that oh-so classic tactic of hiring the day's idiot flavor of the week to talk about things they have absolutely no understanding of. So here's Courtney Stodden talking about animal cruelty while holding a dog who looks like he'd rather kill himself than spend another minute with her. Because seriously, if I MORE
That's weird, I didn't know syphilis could roll. Anyway, because it's been, like, days since she payed the paparazzi to follow her around and take pictures of her while she staged (her words here, not mine) "sexy" photo-ops, Courtney Stodden decided to call up some photographers to watch her try and rollerskate through sand. Yeah, I know that's stupid, but it makes more sense when you realize her IQ is the same as her age. Which is 17. Courtney MORE
Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure it's illegal to post child pornography on the internet, Courtney Stodden has launched her own website in order to promote all the nothing she does. Oh, and did we mention she's selling autographed posters of herself in a bikini for $39.99? Yeah, you thought I was kidding about the child endangerment thing before, didn't you? Not so much, it turns out ... E! Online reports: That's right. Everybody's MORE
Because we will never get tired of watching Courtney Stodden try, and subsequently fail harder than anyone has ever failed, to be sexy, here's a story about how Courtney invited photographers to take pictures of her closet, which is full of clothes that would make the most tired, over-the-hill stripper shake her head and go "trashy fucking bitch". Oh, and she apparently thinks it's sexy to try and eat a shoe while giving her best "I died inside MORE
Because there's something about Marilyn Monroe that stupid blonde whores just love -- they realize she died of a drug overdose, right? -- here's Courtney Stodden dressed as Marilyn, because if there was one thing the world was missing, it was a famewhore trying to emulate Monroe. The Daily Mail reports: Since entering the spotlight, she has become something of a blonde bombshell in her own right. So Courtney Stodden decided to channel her MORE
It feels like it's been forever since Courtney Stodden made a stupid underage whore of herself on this blog, but I guess that's because time flies when you're not being forced to look at teenage famewhores. Anyway, it's Valentine's Day, so of course Courtney called up the paparazzi to come take pictures of her sucking on her 51-year-old husband's noodle (my, that was poorly worded) because what good is having a private, intimate moment if you MORE
I should warn you right now: If you get a boner reading this post, you are a bad person. Anyway, Courtney Stodden, the world's prettiest chemical accident victim, got booked to do an ad for freecreditscore.com in which she plays a "sexy" mermaid. Hey, pedophiles need to check their credit scores too, okay? So let them go. RadarOnline reports: The ad starts with two buddies fishing for dinner and after catching one bite-size fish, they finally MORE
Once again, humanity fails to realize that just because you're really good at one thing (i.e. riding 51-year-old dick into infamy despite being a teenager) doesn't mean you'd be good at something completely different (i.e. singing). Anyway, logic has never stopped Courtney Stodden before, so why now? So now she's decided she's going to try and be a singer again, because what pop music was missing was a blonde, untalented whore filtering banal MORE
Because PETA is stupid (there's no other reason for the words I'm about to type), someone from the group apparently looked at Courtney Stodden and thought "Yes, let's make that teenage famewhore the moral voice of animal rights." Which, if I have to guess, is the reason why people club baby seals. Anyway, cut to Courtney doing a photo shoot for the organization, because sixteen-year-old girls who marry washed-up 51-year-old actors for reality TV MORE
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