It feels like it’s been forever since Courtney Stodden made a stupid underage whore of herself on this blog, but I guess that’s because time flies when you’re not being forced to look at teenage famewhores. Anyway, it’s Valentine’s Day, so of course Courtney called up the paparazzi to come take pictures of her sucking on her 51-year-old husband’s noodle (my, that was poorly worded) because what good is having a private, intimate moment if you can’t turn it into widely distributed child porn? Via the Daily Mail:

The couple ordered spaghetti and garlic bread and decided to make the most of their romantic evening together by pretending they were in a Disney movie. They shared a strand of spaghetti, each eating from one end just as Lady and the Tramp did when they visited an Italian eatery in the cartoon film. But the pair’s recreation of the scene was far more X-rated than its Disney counterpart. SEE THE PICTURES

Awww, it’s cute, they’re just like Lady and the Tramp! You know, because Doug is the Lady and Courtney is a filthy fucking Tramp, just look at the nasty pictures! Although they did deviate from the script a little bit, in that the original Disney movie didn’t end with the two of them dying of syphilis.

Look, as much as I hate to give Courtney Stodden credit for anything other than giving pedophiles credibility here by acting like a hypersexualized minor, I’ll give her this: Now that Tila Tequila and Speidi have faded into obscurity, she’s really giving me some a-material with the whole “ridiculous staged impromptu photo shoot” thing, even if I am staring at pictures of a teenager who looks like dying cat in heat trying to present itself. Anyway, Courtney decided to stage an impromptu shoot at a book store on New Year’s Eve, probably because she wants us to believe she can actually read. RadarOnline enables:

She reads! Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison hit up The Mystic Journey Book Store in L.A.’s Venice district on Saturday, and RadarOnline has the pictures to prove it. Courtney, 17, was dressed for the unseasonably warm L.A. weather in the tiniest of tank tops and miniskirts, and her 51-year-old husband seemed to be enjoying the attention she received from photogs and passersby.

You have to love how even RadarOnline, pretty much the only gossip blog willing to humor Courtney in exchange for details on her every move, can’t believe this bitch can read. I kind of figured her Twitter account was clue #1 as to her illiteracy. I’m sorry, but no one who has ever picked up an actual book can look at Courtney’s weird, whorish, alliterative cries for attention and say “yes, that’s what the English language is supposed to look like.” No seriously, the bitch writes like Dr. Seuss, if Dr. Seuss was a serial date rapist with the bodies of twelve dead hookers stuffed in his crawl space.