When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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I've been trying to hold off on the Chris Brown stories as of late, mostly because you can only beat the "Chris Brown is a terrible human being" horse so many times before you're just smacking a puddle of glue. That being said, it's been the slowest week ever, so I'll just slip in this one last Chris Brown post about how there's a warrant out for his arrest in Florida after the dumbass stole a woman's iPhone for trying to take a picture of him. MORE
And just like that, the Chris Brown situation gets impossibly worse. It turns out, Rihanna has either forgiven Chris for beating her to near death and then not learning anything from it, or she wants to win back Chris' pro-woman beating audience, because the two are collaborating on remixes of each others' songs, because it's not like Chris still shows signs of a potential abuser and the cycle of abuse won't repeat itself again. Because that MORE
So after Miranda Lambert fired a round of justified criticism at him on Twitter, Chris Brown decided to respond to her on Twitter exactly the way you thought he would ... well, actually he didn't trap her in a car and repeatedly punch and bite her face then leave her for dead, so I guess it wasn't exactly the way you thought he would. @ChrisBrown: Using my name to get publicity? I love it! Perform your heart out! @ChrisBrown: Go buy MORE
Because every part of this whole Chris Brown thing has taught me that domestic abuse has become a justifiable offence as long as the beater in question is a hot, rich singer who can just dance his way out of his troubles, Chris was apparently at Rihanna's birthday party the other night and tried to make everyone there sign non-disclosure agreements so that no one would know that he and Rihanna are apparently back together now because he was MORE
In case you needed any more proof that Chris Brown learned absolutely nothing from nearly beating Rihanna to death by doing the bare minimum of his court-appointed work, I have to pieces of evidence for you. The first is pulled straight from Chris' Twitter, where he is once again blaming others for his own terrible actions by telling the media that our crusade to somehow make him be the stupid shithead he is isn't working and that we're all MORE
Yesterday, I took the stance that while Chris Brown hasn't really redeemed himself in any real way for his domestic abuse against Rihanna, I wasn't ruling out the possibility of redemption if he ever actually took responsibility for his actions. But this is Chris we're talking about, so of course he responded to all his critics by calling them "haters" (how original!) and saying that he won a Grammy which apparently erases the fact that he nearly MORE
I don't listen to lots of country music, but I'll admit to a fondness for Miranda Lambert. What can I say? She's badass. Anyway, in light of the Grammys willingness to forgive Chris Brown and let him back onstage while acting like they were the real victims all along of when he nearly beat Rihanna to death, Miranda has gone on record to question why Chris even has a career in the first place while saying that if he ever laid a hand on her, he'd MORE
Hey, remember how Chris Brown was allowed to perform at the Grammys, and even got to pick up an award for his at-best mediocre album? And then a bunch poorly-raised teenagers went on Twitter and Facebook to talk about how they would totally let Chris beat them because he's hot and famous? Well, here's the police report from when he beat Rihanna to near death, via MTV. Happy Valentine's Day! "Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the MORE
Yesterday, direct messages on Twitter between Chris Brown and an unsigned artist named Martyn leaked onto the web, and by the looks of it, it turns out that Chris might be having sex with dudes. And he might be the bottom. Soooooo ... this may or may not be happening. The Examiner reports: Chris Brown’s recent Twitter messages are shocking as they suggest that he had a gay affair with a little known musician named Martyn. The messages are MORE
And now, the absolute saddest story I think I will ever post on PopBytes - at least until the next thing I write about Lindsay Lohan. It seems our fair Lilo was enthralled by Chris Brown's flying dancey circus (unlike Jay-Z) and apparently had such a raging lady boner that she messaged him on Twitter asking if he wanted to 'meet' with her. Which I'm guessing means that Lilo is back on the all-cock diet again. Or she likes having her head slammed MORE
Good news woman beaters! It turns out if you can dance really well and you can make ho-hum hip-hop-pop music, everyone will forgive you for punching women. At the MTV VMAs, Chris Brown came out and did the whole song/dance/fly for no discernible reason routine, and in all honesty, he killed it. Actually, he didn't just kill it - he bit its face and then slammed its head into a car door repeatedly before leaving it out on the sidewalk for dead. MORE
Remember how Chris Brown tried to rehabilitate his image so that he wasn't an angry, petulant little child, only to end up going on angry homophobic rants again and again? Well, slap my tits and call me Sally, he's done it again. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Chris decided to join a pick-up basketball game at his gym, and when things didn't go his way, he started screaming about gay everything was, how everyone was a faggot and then had his MORE
Yay! Another music awards show. What's this? Like, the fifth one in the past month? Yeah, that sounds about right. Anyway, the BET Awards were last night, and I wish I could say this was an exception and for once a summer music awards show actually rewarded talented singers and artists. I said I WISH. Chris Brown actually ended up taking home the most awards for the night, because apparently voters like mediocre singers who make albums where they MORE
In case you're wondering, today's theme is "Stupid fuck-up coddled celebrities who will never learn from their mistakes". Anyway, despite flashing his cutesy little diploma on Twitter saying he's not a self-centered angry douche, Chris Brown got in trouble again yesterday after he nearly got a parking ticket, and then blamed it on the paparazzi and called them all gay, because somehow being attracted to people of the same sex = snitch. Before MORE
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