When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Remember how I said that Justin Bieber has pretty much gone from adorable baby lesbian to white trash suburban teenager? Well, it turns out Justin is actually a big Chris Brown fan, and thinks people should just ignore the fact that he nearly beat his girlfriend to death and focus on his bland-ass music. So I was completely right: Justin is a white trash suburban teenager. RadarOnline reports ... After revealing that he will not be in MORE
Hey, remember when Chris Brown nearly beat Rihanna to death? And then everyone shrugged it off, even though he nearly beat his girlfriend to death? Well, it turns out that allowing someone like that to completely dodge any sort of culpability for their actions accomplishes jack-squat, because last night he allegedly got into a fight with Frank Ocean, then left the scene before the cops arrived. Via TMZ ... UPDATE 10:45 PM PT: Police have MORE
If you don't know what swatting is, it's basically when bored suburban teens decide to call the cops and send a SWAT team to a famous person's house. What does this accomplish? Not much, other than wasting police force time and slightly inconveniencing the rich and famous. It's like when you send a pizza to someone's house, only, you know, it's illegal. And that's bad. Except when you do it to Chris Brown, because Chris Brown is terrible. MORE
Since Chris Brown started dating Rihanna again (Ugh. Ugh. A thousand times UGH!) he's already been spotted with his ex-girlfriend Karreuche Tran, and seriously, how do so many find this violent, girlfriend-beating douche irresistible? Does he poop Pinterest crafts? Whatever. Point is, Hollywood Life reports that he's been spotted with a third girl now named Sommer Gargan. Who would have known Chris would be such a terrible MORE
How bad is Rihanna at decision making? Let me put it this way: If you gave her a multiple choice question of what her own name was, and gave her a choice between Rihanna, and then three blank answers, Rihanna would choose one of the blank answers before trying to fire a bottle rocket out of her nose because the dumbass is a dumbass. So of course, Chris Brown and RiRi made their first public appearance together yesterday since that time Chris MORE
You would expect that Rihanna's reunion with the man who viciously beat her and left her for dead would be going better for her, except as HuffPo reports, Chris Brown and Rihanna are already fighting again after Chris was spotted partying with his ex(?)-girlfriend, Karrueche Tran. Here's a thought girl: maybe don't get back together with the guy who abused you. DON'T. DO. THAT. EVER. Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship may have been on the MORE
Because everything that comes out of Chris Brown's mouth is a shining gold nugget of non-self-awareness, here he is comparing himself to Tupac Shakur. You know, because one was gunned-down in a senseless east coast/west coast feud, and the other tore off his shirt and threw a chair at a window because the mean lady at Good Morning America asked him a hard question. I'm just going to let this one speak for itself because I have a head cold and the MORE
If you don't know who Jenny Johnson is, it's probably only because you've never been on Twitter. Jenny is one of the single funniest people on Twitter, and has made a name for herself for calling out terrible, morally-devoid celebrities for being terrible and morally-devoid. Anyway, Chris Brown has been a good target for her, since he's virulently misogynistic, homophobic, and violent in general. Last night, the two of them got into it on MORE
At every Halloween party, there's always one person there who decides to show up in an offensively racist costume. The excuses are usually somewhere between "Oh, but it's ironic!" or "It's Halloween, it's not that serious!" No, you're just a tool. Anyway, Chris Brown decided to be that guy yesterday, by dressing up as stereotypical Arab terrorists at Rihanna's Halloween party. Because HAHA! Inaccurate racial stereotypes! Oh man, this guy is just MORE
Because apparently they couldn't figure out a better way to prove that Susan B. Anthony wasted her life for nought, Karrueche Tran is telling anyone who will listen that she thinks she and Chris Brown will get back together even though Rihanna took him back for reasons incomprehensible to the human mind. Woo! Feminism! TMZ reports: Sources close to Karrueche tell TMZ, she was hurt when Brown gave her the axe a few weeks ago ... but she never MORE
Because Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship is totally, 100% healthy and mature and all those haters are just jealous, RiRi is reportedly considering getting breast implants after Chris made a comment about the size of her knockers. Once again: no sign of a clearly unhealthy relationship here! Just a woman surgically altering her body in order to please the man that abused her. (WHAT THE HELL.) National Enquirer reports ... Now, the MORE
Ever wondered why Rihanna continually goes back to Chris Brown, even though he physically abused her and still shows numerous warning signs of horrifically abusive tendencies? Well, here is her dad Ronald Fenty telling Life & Style magazine that he hopes his daughter marries Chris, so right there should tell you everything you need to know about RiRi's impressions on men. “Whatever makes her happy,” Rihanna’s dad, Ronald Fenty, tells MORE
Pop quiz! Let's say you very publicly broke up with your girlfriend in order to be with an ex whom you physically abused in a horrific way and whom you've been seeing in secret for the past few months. What do you do? If you said "get drunk and make an artsy video to post on the internet," congrats moron! You're Chris Brown. After dumping Karrueche Tran so that he could be with Rihanna, Chris went into damage control by putting together a MORE
Earlier this morning, pictures circulated of Chris Brown hanging out with Rihanna in a New York City bar, which everyone assumed meant that they were getting back together. But that couldn't be right, could it? It's not like we live in a society that enables abuse, do we? But then I remembered last night's episode of South Park and realized that yes, we are terrible and that's why Chris dumped his girlfriend to get back together with Rihanna. MORE
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