Now Playing: It’s a Brad, Brad World

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Brad GoreskiIt’s hard not to have a crush on Brad Goreski. It’s not just the fact that he’s always dressed to the nines – although the bright-colored suits, bowties, and black-rimmed glasses are certainly adorable. It’s that he has instant charisma. The kind of positive, “I wish I was your best-friend” energy that draws you to him.

But viewers who watched The Rachel Zoe Project last season are well aware that stylist Brad Goreski came off as less than favorable. After three seasons of working as Rachel’s assistant and style director, Brad up and left Zoe Inc. to start his own styling business. And while we didn’t see his exit on screen, we certainly heard about what went down. Rachel and her husband Roger painted Brad as someone who betrayed their trust, snatched their clients, and used their name (and their show) to start his own career. All under the guise of “wanting to spend more time with his family.”

There are two sides to every story, though. And Brad is ready to tell his, on his own Bravo reality show, It’s a Brad, Brad World, premiering tonight at 10pm EST.

In case you were wondering, Brad doesn’t waste any time addressing the issue on everyone’s mind.

“We don’t speak anymore,” Brad says of Rachel in the premiere episode. “I kind of have an idea why, but I feel like those reasons are unjust. I feel like I have conducted myself with honesty, with dignity, and with grace, and I will continue to do so no matter what is said about me.”

On a call with PopBytes a few weeks back, Brad was a little more honest about his real motivations. “When I left Rachel, indeed a lot of time was spent at home with my dogs and my boyfriend. But my intention was always to be a stylist and to create my own business. So, you know, I love my boyfriend and I love my dogs but a girl has to pay the bills. I broke off with the intention of becoming my own stylist. And [Rachel and Roger] were aware of that.”

Whether or not Rachel and Roger were aware of Brad’s intentions, you can imagine why they’d be nervous. After all, it’s been just over a year since Brad went on his own, and already he’s racked up a pretty serious client list (see Jessica Alba, Noomi Rapace, Rashida Jones, Abigail Spencer, Christina Ricci, Shay Mitchell and Demi Moore, for starters). All that, plus the recent news that he’s been named Kate Spade New York’s exclusive brand stylist? I’d be nervous too.

Getting there wasn’t easy, of course – and It’s a Brad Brad World explores Brad’s journey as he builds his business as an independent stylist. “It’s a lot for a celebrity to put their image in your hands,” Brad explains. “And that’s where the drama lies: whether or not I get a job, and if the client is going to be really happy and want to book me again. As opposed to an overwhelming amount of work, fittings, and missing FedEx boxes.”

For the record, Brad says he hasn’t misplaced one FedEx box. Yet.

Brad’s also learning one tough lesson: what it’s like to be the boss.  Responsibility rarely falls on the shoulders of the assistant. It falls on the boss. It falls on the stylist. So Brad is learning to delegate. Learning not to be passive aggressive. Learning not to lose his temper. “I think people will really get to see how I work and how I’ve developed and I’m still kind of developing the process in which I work,” Brad said.

As if all that business wasn’t hard enough, Brad’s also writing his first book – a memoir called Born to Be Brad: My Life and Style, So Far. We’ll see the writing process in at least one episode this season. The book is set to come out in March (best-selling author Mickey Rapkin serves as co-writer).

Life isn’t all work for Brad, and nor will his show be all about styling. Brad will also be exposing something he’s kept hidden from the cameras through three seasons of The Rachel Zoe Project: his relationship of ten years with television writer Gary Janetti. And if you’re looking for a Rachel/Roger argumentative relationship, you may want to look elsewhere. “We don’t really bicker that much with each other,” Brad assures us. “We have a really good life with a family around us that supports us. That’s an important message to send out there especially at a time like this with this increase in homophobia/bullying going on. Anyway to be visible and be out and be gay is a positive thing.”

Yet no matter how good Brad and Gary are together, audiences are still hoping Brad and Rachel find a way to reconcile their relationship. For the record, Brad seems to be on our side: “I really wanted to leave with a clean slate,” Brad told us, “just because of what had happened with Taylor [Jacobson] when she was dismissed. And I really didn’t want things to turn out that way. I didn’t want it to be that Rachel and I could never speak again. I respect Rachel very much – to work with somebody of her caliber and her talent and to be able to learn from her and watch her work is really an incredible thing. I’d like to be friends again. It’s awful silly.”

Something to look forward to for season two, I guess.

Number of times I used “Brad” in this piece: 32!

Brad Goreski

Happy Holidays from RHOBH!

It’s certainly no secret that I literally cannot get enough of Bravo‘s hit reality show The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, I could watch these ladies 24/7, one measly hour a week (on Monday) barely feeds my intense obsession! Four of the girls gathered at Kyle Richards‘ (the most stylish of the bunch who also happens to have the hottest hubby, Mauricio Umansky) house for a holiday-themed photo shoot featured in the latest issue of Life & Style magazine. Sadly Kyle’s sister, Kim Richards, couldn’t attend since she’s currently dealing with her many issues in rehab (Kim seriously breaks my heart, I think she’s a sweet girl but has a bunch of problems that have apparently come to a head) and Lisa Vanderpump dropped out at the very last minute because of a surprise trip. But Camille Grammer (who I totally have fallen in love with this season), Taylor Armstrong and Adrienne Maloof all joined in the festive fun! Although I do enjoy the other Housewives franchises (Atlanta, New York, Orange County, and New Jersey), I must say that Beverly Hills really does top all the other cities at the moment, I can’t wait to see how the rest of the explosive and gripping second season plays out, these ladies sure know how to create high drama!

Taylor Armstrong, Camille Grammer, Kyle Richards, and Adrienne Maloof

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars aren’t known for keeping the heavenly peace, but Kyle Richards, Adrienne Maloof and even warring Camille Grammer and Taylor Armstrong got into the Christmas spirit when they gathered at Kyle’s chic LA home for their exclusive Life & Style holiday-themed photo shoot, featured in the new issue – on newsstands now!

Instead of catfights, the four castmembers told Life & Style their Christmas traditions as they got into the holiday spirit. “Christmas is my favorite time of year — by Halloween, I’m already listening to Christmas music, and I had the lights up before Thanksgiving this year,” said Kyle, who also celebrates Hannukkah with husband Mauricio Umansky.

For Taylor, who’s ringing in the holidays for the first time since her estranged husband, Russell Armstrong, committed suicide, it’s all about sticking with traditions for daughter, Kennedy, 5. “We’ll get a small tree for her playroom and another for downstairs,” Taylor tells Life & Style. “Kennedy sprinkles Santa dust [glitter in a velvet pouch] around the house because it’s supposed to reflect off the moonlight and help guide Santa’s way to our house.”

Taylor Armstrong, Camille Grammer, Kyle Richards, and Adrienne Maloof

Has Bravo finally filled its ‘Project Runway’ void?

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Bravo has never really gotten over losing Project Runway.

It’s been two and half years since the breakout show started airing on Lifetime, and Bravo has still yet to find a hit fashion-focused program to fill its shoes.

But this year, Bravo launched two new shows that are major steps in the right direction: Mad Fashion, which follows the antics of over-the-top Runway alumni Chris March and his merry staff of misfits; and Fashion Hunters, which follows the staff of one of New York’s most popular consignment shops, Second Time Around. Billed in a “Fashion by Bravo” Tuesday-night block, the half-hour docudramas stood out from the pack by avoiding nonsensical conflict and showcasing the fun of fashion.

Both shows wrap up their freshmen seasons tonight, starting at 10/9c. And for the first time in a long time, it seems like Bravo might actually be getting their fashion mojo back.

Fashion, of course, has been a staple in Bravo’s mission statement ever since the network underwent a programming makeover back in 2003. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy had just premiered to huge buzz and rave reviews, so the network (which had mostly been known for airing documentaries and after-hours-Olympic coverage) shifted its view towards the five core categories represented by their Queer Eye-cast:  Food, Hair, Design, Culture, and Fashion. Project Runway was the first show developed under the new programming direction to really hit – and stayed on the top of the Bravo pyramid until leaving the network back in October 2008. But while the other brands are all represented well in Bravo’s schedule (see: Top Chef, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, Flipping Out, and The Real Housewives franchise), that fashion spot is still a little vacant.

God knows they’ve tried. Bravo first started trying to replicate the competition show. There was the mess that was The Fashion Show – a piss-poor Runway knock-off that inexplicitly lasted two seasons (one with Kelly Rowland as host, another with Iman). Everything about it felt subdued: from the forgettable contestants (I couldn’t name a single designer from the past two seasons if you put a gun to my head – and I watched every episode) to the messy judges (Isaac Mizrahi is no Michael Kors). Oh, and do you remember Launch My Line? Where “celebrities” like Patrick McDonald (who?) and Merle Ginsberg (what?) tried to launch their own fashion lines, under the robotic hosting/judging duties of Dsquared’s Dean and Dan Caten? Yeah. Painful.

But amongst those competition flops, Bravo also started airing a fashion docudrama series starring celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe. And wouldn’t you know? The Rachel Zoe Project was a mild hit. Was it pulling in Project Runway numbers? No. But was it memorable? Yes. So Rachel got a pickup. And the programming focus shifted towards finding interesting fashion personalities. They weren’t always successful (see Kell on Earth, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, and Double Exposure for proof). But it’s a way better strategy than trying to find a new way to reinvent the fashion competition show wheel.

Which brings us back to Mad Fashion and Fashion Hunters. On paper, the two shows couldn’t seem more different. But when I watched them (and talked with the two casts yesterday at the Bravo offices), I was amazed at how similar they felt.

Mad Fashion is, at its core, about showing the limitless side of fashion and creativity. Each week, Chris March and his team create a couture gown (in what we’re told to believe is a rough 72-hour turnaround) for a celebrity client. See here, his consultation with Swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen from tonight’s finale:

March’s designs are pure fantasy. A dress made entirely of spray-painted bras? Sure. Another made of high-heel shoes? Sounds about right. A 1950s housewife dress with accompanying grocery cart? Great – we’ll even throw in a wig. No idea is too much, and most of his clients want that Gaga-esque exuberance, happily going along for the ride.

Of course, Chris March wasn’t the first Runway alum to do a show for Bravo. Jay McCarroll shot an hour-special called Project Jay that was meant to act as a backdoor pilot for a series, but never took off. Bravo also announced plans for a series centered on the day-to-day life of super-mom and super-designer Laura Bennett, though nothing ever came of it. But where those people failed, Chris March succeeds simply because he has one of the warmest, most addictive personalities out there. You kind of just want to watch him.

It also helps that he has a great team by his side. Chris has known master fabricator Matt James for almost 25 years. Wig-maven Izzy Decauwert (who I totally have a friend crush on, ps) and stictcher Alex Bartlett for over five years.  Decauwert and Barlett, meanwhile, have been besties for 14+ years. And although Christine Brown and Jake Kelsey were new to the Chris March Design crew, the six of them clicked. The right amount of chemistry mixed with the right amount of humor. Plus, a crazy amount of talent and creativity that helped bring a unique perspective to an industry always ready to have its envelope pushed. All and all, a recipe for a hit.

Fashion Hunters, on the other hand, is about the appreciation of the history of fashion. Sometimes, that message gets lost when you’ve got a bunch of old rich white women buying Birkin bags at a private event. But when the core staff of Second Time Around (Tara Muscarella, Ambria Miscia, Karina Lepiner, and Wilson Payamps) are talking fashion and ogling over their latest finds, you quickly get sucked into their excitement. Like this scene from the first part of tonight’s finale, when the girls hit up Kelly Bensimon’s closet.

Where Fashion Hunters could use a little tweaking, however, is in the actual consignment/pricing portion of the episode, which often comes across dull. It’s a needed change the cast fully understands. “We never price with the consigner in front of us,” said Second Time Around manager Tara Muscarella. “They usually drop it off and we have it priced by the end of the day or tomorrow. So to really be in that position of checking quality and pricing on the spot was tricky.”

But it wasn’t just the pricing issue. The quality of the garments often came off as less than exciting. “We were definitely stonewalled,” Ambia Miscia told us. “We have people who normally give us tons of things, and then they were like ‘Oh, on camera? No.’” That left the Fashion Hunters with people who wanted to be on camera, but who didn’t necessarily have the quality or quantity of merchandise. “Normally we get garment bags and suitcases worth of things,” said Miscia. “You don’t see the vassals of clothes we get.”

Still, Fashion Hunters shows a side of the fashion industry we rarely get to see: the consumer side. It’s not all about making the garment or creating the look. What the average person sitting at home can relate to is the shopping portion of it all. The search for that perfect something. And not by a stylists or a makeover artist. By the consumer. It’s attainable fashion. And in that case, Fashion Hunters is totally unique.

Although wildly different on paper, what Mad Fashion and Fashion Hunters both have in common is that they both stay positive. “When I started in this whole process of doing this workshop-oriented show,” Chris March explained, “my whole aim from the very beginning was not to do a show with backstabbing drama. Because I didn’t want to be on it if it was going to be that way. And they [Bravo] were initially a little bit hesitant to go that way with the show. But they were convinced that the fun and frolic would be enough to get people to come by and watch.”

“We were really cautious of that too,” said Tara Muscarella.  “Definitely – no drama.”

“I think it’s been a breath of fresh air on TV,” Marsh said. “And people tell me that all day, every day. I’m happy about that.”

“We’re not curing cancer,” explained Miscia. “We’re not executive directors of any companies. It’s a dream job because it’s fashion and it’s fun.”

Fashion and fun. Two really simple concepts. But for Bravo, fashion hasn’t been nearly as fun for them as it was in the height of the Project Runway days. Hopefully, they’ve found a winning combination that works, and will give Fashion Hunters and Mad Fashion a chance to grow, while showing a commitment to positive, light-hearted shows (As of press time, neither shows have been picked up for a second season yet).

Whether or not that happens, it’s clear Bravo isn’t done trying to find the next great fashion show. In January, they’ll launch It’s a Brad, Brad World, which centers on the life of celebrity stylist and former Rachel Zoe Project star Brad Goreski. Let’s hope he picked up one thing from Rachel: how to get more than one season.

Mad Fashion and Fashion Hunters

Five reasons to tune into ‘Top Chef: Texas’ tonight!

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Bravo’s Emmy-winning hit Top Chef returns for it’s ninth (!) season tonight at 10 p.m. ET – and boy, do they have a lot on their plate. After setting up shop in cities across the country (see: San Fancisco, Los Angeles, Miami, Chicago, New York City, Las Vegas, and Washington, D.C.), the Top Chef crew is taking on the entire state of Texas. Top Chef: Texas will put the chef’testants in various challenges across three different cities in the Lone Star state: Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio. Pretty rad, huh?

Top Chef: Texas

It’s hard to believe it’s only been eight seasons, considering the impact the show has made; elevating the way everyday folks think and talk about food. I mean, there’s a whole new crop of foodies out there who’ve really learned how to experience food from watching Top Chef. And most of that, in my eyes, is due to the judges themselves. The way they educate viewers on flavors and cooking techniques through each elimination. It’s similar to the way judging is handled on So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway. Intelligent discussions create better viewers and in turn, better consumers.

But for host Padma Lakshmi and head judge Tom Colicchio, they never expected that effect when they first started the show. “I didn’t start out thinking it was going to have any effect at all,” Colicchio told me when he and Lakshmi sat down for an interview last week. “I thought maybe four people would watch this show and maybe two of them would be my family. So I was really surprised by the impact it does have.”

Does that mean Colicchio and Lakshmi think about that impact when filming? Not so much. “Personally, I just try and communicate the way I like or don’t like something to the person who made it,” Padma Lakshmi explained. “Whatever the criticism is, it has to be constructive and useful to that chef. Because it’s very frustrating when they’re working their butts off and their tired and they really love what they do so they just want to be better at it. They just want to know why. As a judge, it’s important to not only say that you don’t like something but exactly why you don’t like it and exactly why you could’ve like it or whatever the case at hand may be.”

Colicchio is much more direct: “Early on, we figured out the only way that the viewer can experience food is through our conversation. So we all decided that we have to have a real, honest conversation about food. We’re not mugging for the cameras. We’re not saying outrageous things just to sound outrageous. We’re not yelling and screaming at people. We’re having a serious conversation about the food that’s put in front of us – the good, the bad, and the different. And I think that’s what really comes through.”

It is what comes through – and certainly what keeps me watching season after season. So what can viewers expect this season on Top Chef: Texas? Well, a lot of good, new stuff! Here’s 5 reasons I think you’ll want to watch:

Everything’s bigger in Texas – especially the number of chef’testants themselves.

Rather than starting with the usual crop of 16 chef’testants, this season, Top Chef is starting things out of the gate with 29 chefs. 29! In tonight’s premiere, that crop of 29 will be whittled-down to a final 16, through a series of cooking challenges. The goal wasn’t just to make the first episode more exciting, but to make the series itself more real. Rather than casting chefs off resumes and interviews, the mass-elimination will give chefs the ability to cook themselves into the competition. That change made from some interesting twists right in the first episode – and probably saved the series from a group of bad chef’testants. “There were some people who we were lead to believe, from their resumes, would have been great contests – really strong cooks,” Colicchio explained. “And they weren’t good at all!”

Voted-off contestants will have the chance to return.

Those bad contestants that get chopped in episode one? Well, they may not be done yet. This season, Top Chef is taking a page out of Survivor and creating a “Redemption Island” of sorts. Eliminated contestants will have a chance to return to the main kitchen to compete for the Top Chef: Texas title through the Top Chef: Last Chance Kitchen webisode series. Deets of how exactly this twist will work are being kept under lock and key. We do know that each week, two eliminated chef’testants face-off for the chance to stay in the competition. And that the last person standing in the “Last Chance Kitchen” will get back into the competition. And that Tom Colicchio will serve as host and the only judge who determines who stays or goes. Oh, and that none of the contestants were ever told about the second-chance until after they were voted off. What we don’t know is just what those cooking challenges will be. Either way, Colicchio thinks the twist will really resonate with viewers. “It addresses the person whom the view thinks got a raw deal or maybe they were more talented and they were kick out too soon,” he said. I just hope this doesn’t affect the way Padma kicks people off the show. “Please pack you knives… and go to the Top Chef: Last Chance Kitchen.” Yeah – doesn’t have the same ring to it.

All of these people are way better cooks than you.

Want to know what I cooked myself for dinner last night? Peanut butter and jelly. And I burnt the damn toast! Let’s just say, cooking really isn’t my thing. But chances are, for these 29 contestants, cooking is very much their thing. And if the past seven seasons of Top Chef is any indication (not counting All-Stars, of course), the talent just keep getting better and better. So how does this year’s class rate? “On a straight cooking level, the talent is as good as any season,” said Tom Colicchio. But to Padma Lakshmi, there’s a bit of rivalry lacking between the crop this year: “These guys are very passionate, but seem to have something personal to prove to themselves or to an audience back home rather than just those of us who are standing in the kitchen.”

There are some terrible new judges, who won’t be so bad next to some awesome celebrity judges.

Don’t worry – Padma, Tom, and Gale Simmons aren’t going anywhere. But if you’re looking for Season 7’s judge Eric Ripert or Season 8’s judge Anthony Bourdain to fill that fourth slot, you’d be mistaken. Instead, superstar celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse and Top Chef: Masters contestant Hugh Acheson will be taking turns at judge’s table. Between Acheson’s unibrow and Emeril’s overuse of the term “BAM,” it’s going to be a loooong season. Luckily, there are a ton of celebrity guest judges stopping by for a visit too, including Charlize Theron, Pee-wee Herman, and Patti LaBelle (!!!). Wait, is this RuPaul’s Drag Race?

The food revolution has hit Texas too.

Padma may be eating a messy plate of ribs in the commercials for this season, but Top Chef: Texas won’t be your stereotypical view of Texas. Sure, “the portions are bigger in Texas,” as Lakshmi told me. But don’t expect to just see your traditional Tex-Mex style cooking. “I think chefs these days are doing more to spell that notion of Texas being about just meat and ribs,” Colicchio explained, pointing to restaurants like Monterey in San Antionio, Barley Swine in Austin, and his own Craft in Dallas. “There’s a whole generation of younger chefs who might be trained outside of Texas and will take some of those Tex-Mex ideas and really refine them – making them modern and going in a different direction.” For Colicchio, what’s happening in Texas is indicative of the bigger picture. “There’s a food revolution going on throughout the county,” he explained. “And it doesn’t matter if you’re down south, up north in Maine, out west in Portal or Seattle.”

Of course, Colicchio and company may want to head up north next time around, after filming in Texas. “The 110 degree temperature every day?” said Coolicchio. “It was brutal.”

Tune in to Top Chef: Texas tonight on Bravo at 10 p.m. EST.

First Look: RHOA Season 4!

OMG! I’m beyond excited about the upcoming return of Bravo‘s hit franchise The Real Housewives of Atlanta on November 6th! Watch a sneak peek of the dramatic and tension-filled fourth season below!

Bravo’s water cooler sensation, The Real Housewives of Atlanta returns Sunday, November 6 at 10 p.m. ET/PT. In a season about taking chances, the hottest Housewives in the South are embarking on new ventures and returning to their roots. Kandi, Phaedra and Cynthia are exploring their entrepreneurial prowess. Though their dreams vary drastically – sex toys, funeral homes and a modeling school – each woman has jumped into their chosen endeavor with a signature boldness and innate sense of humor that defines these Atlanta ladies.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta:

NeNe Leakes – This season, NeNe and Gregg have officially separated. Though Gregg no longer lives with NeNe and the boys, they have a complex relationship. NeNe struggles with her decision on whether or not to sign the divorce papers and truly move on from their 15-year relationship. Since her experience on Celebrity Apprentice, NeNe has realized she has a knack for business and uses one of her Trump connections to pursue an entrepreneurial endeavor.

Kim Zolciak – As her psychic predicted, Kim’s life has changed dramatically for the better. Kroy adores Kim, her daughters and is a loving father to baby KJ. Though they have established a new life together, Kroy has to return to the NFL, leaving Kim to get their new house in order and tend to three children. To add to her juggling act, Kim is pursuing a country music career without the help of Kandi.

Sheree Whitfield – Sheree has recently moved out of her home and is building a fabulous new house for her family in the same upscale neighborhood. Frustrated with her ex-husband for not paying the 4 years of child support he owes, Sheree takes action against him with legal help from her friend and fellow Housewife, lawyer Phaedra Parks.

Kandi Burruss – After a year spent recording and touring to support her solo album, Kandi has shifted her focus to a new endeavor: an intimate luxury line. She’s also switching gears with music and focusing on writing country hits for a popular artist.. While she has yet to find Mr. Right, Kandi is spending more time than ever with Mama Joyce. Ever the mediator, she remains close with the other Housewives.

Phaedra Parks – With baby Ayden growing up so quickly, Phaedra is realizing her parenting style is different than expected. Once a firm believer in “spanking” a child, she has become a doting mom who tends to annoy Apollo by babying their son. Phaedra continues to work hard at the law firm and has begun her next business venture: a family-run funeral home. Her only hurdle before becoming a certified mortician: convincing Apollo of the benefits of this new undertaking.

Cynthia Bailey – At 44 years old, Cynthia is still a working model and is using her decades of experience to help the next generation. By opening The Bailey Agency School of Fashion, Cynthia seeks to teach Atlanta’s most promising girls about the industry. Her marriage to Peter is barely one-year along, but the shadow of the marriage-certificate wedding debacle still hangs over the Bailey-Thomas household. Cynthia’s sister Malorie and Peter still haven’t addressed her attempted wedding sabotage and Cynthia finds herself in an uncomfortable position between her husband and her sister.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 4

Most Eligible Dallas? Most Eligible Kill Me!

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Bravo has long been trying to begin a franchise dedicated to the single life. Two summers ago, they premiered Miami Social – a show that chronicled the single lives of seven friends in South Beach – to dismal ratings and even worse reviews. You’d think that would have been a hint. Yet, try, try again, Bravo is taking another stab at launching a successful singles franchise in Most Eligible Dallas (Mondays, 10pm EST). Or as I call it, “Flop, by Bravo.”

Most Eligible Dallas

It’s hard to spot the differences between Miami Social and Most Eligible Dallas. Besides the obvious difference in location, there’s the same group of vapid, inane, awful people touting the single life – though this time, they have southern accents. If Miami Social is any indication, we won’t have to put up with these chumps for more than a few more weeks.

And chumps, they are. You have to wonder whether Bravo tried to find the most unlikable single people in Dallas.

Let’s see, there’s Matt Nordgren, the handsome “modern cowboy” who can’t seem to make it 5 minutes without calling up another girl to come hang out with him. Matt constantly reminds us over and over again how great it is to be single, and how he doesn’t want to be attached.  Yet he’s so desperate for attention that he fails to realize how pathetic he comes across. Also, he has a Vaio laptop. I mean, really?

Right by Matt’s side is his bestie Courtney Kerr, the girl-next-door with some of the lowest self-esteem I’ve seen on television in ages. Courtney is head over heels in love with Matt, though she’d say otherwise. She spends the first half of the first episode telling us over and over how they’re just best friends and how they could never date, but then gets fiercely jealous of every bimbos he brings around. “All I want to do is get married and have babies,” Courtney tells us, sobbing. Then she proceeds to list the qualities of her ideal man, down to the name of his dog. You have to wonder whether Courtney realizes that after this show, no man in America, let alone Dallas, is going to want to date this bag of crazy.

Courtney’s biggest foe seems to be Neill Skylar, one of Matt’s friends who’s surprisingly the most likeable of the bunch. She’s a 23-year-old single mom to a 1-year old son, and a lead singer of some band that no one cares about. Neill seems grounded and humble – sweet and smart. But that doesn’t stop crazy Courtney from treating her like total shit when they first meet at a group dinner one night.

Remember how Courtney really wants a baby? Well, Neill has that – and obviously doesn’t appreciate that because she – wait for it –is out drinking on a Tuesday night. “She should be at home with her baby,” Courtney cries. “It’s a slap in my face.” Um… are you kidding me? First of all, Courtney – let’s not pretend that you guys aren’t filming a reality show. Obviously Neill isn’t going out every night – she has to be there for filming. Second of all, there is no amount of rationalizing that you can do to justify your actions. You’re a piece of shit.

I kind of wish Courtney’s friend Tara Harper would say that to her. After all, Courtney treats Tara like crap too – telling Tara that the guy she’s seeing will never make her a priority because he has four kids. Courtney also goes on to criticize the fact that he’s been married four times before. Look, I’m not saying this guy’s a winner, but Tara seems to like him. Plus, can we talk about the hypocrisy. Tara’s been engaged four times before! Is that worse than being married four times before? I’d rather have someone who make decisions, albeit the wrong ones, than someone who can’t make a decision in the first place.

I suppose though that’s something we’re supposed to just like about Tara, who describes herself as “Blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs – I’m 100% a Dallas girl.” I do appreciate to that she rescues dogs, and seems to be pretty devoted to her charity, “Paws in the City.” But dog lover as I am, I can’t really stand by someone who has her maid cook homemade dog food and then serves it on china plates. Seriously?

Then there’s Glenn Pakulak – a 31-year-old NFL punter who’s hanging in Dallas while some sort of lockout is happening (what? I’m watching a Bravo reality show – do you really think I know jack shit about sports?). Glenn has a phenomenal body – and takes his shirt off every other scene to make sure we know it. Glenn loves women sooo much that he flirts with anything with a pair of tits and vag, and even boasts about getting boners as a kid watching Family Feud. Congratulations Glenn – you’re officially disgusting. Oh, but don’t peg him as a ladies man. Deep into episode 3, he reveals to Courtney how he’s a hopeless romantic, and spends 4-nights a week at home, wishing he had a cool girl to snuggle up to. Awww. Then he tries to sleep with Courtney, and when she’s not into it, goes back to being a total d-bag. Awww.

But the worst of them all has to be Drew Ginsburg. I’ve never seen a more vile individual on television than Drew. In between drags off his electronic cigarette (which he doesn’t even inhale, mind you), Drew tells us how he used to weigh 425 pounds, but lost most of it due to gastric bypass. His big secret for maintaining the weight-loss has been to inject daily doses of estrogen – which probably explains why he acts like a total cunt all the time.

Although Drew is the token gay of the group, he warns us that he’s not like other gay men:

I’m not your stereotypical gay man. Gasoline runs in my veins. To me there is nothing more exciting than hearing the roar of that engine. I live in one of the most expensive, prestigious addresses in uptown Dallas. I’ve got a view that’s a panty dropper. When I need something, I just press a button. People look at me and say “How the fuck are you gay? You sell cars! I don’t know. I’ve broken the mother-fucking mold all my life.

So let’s so… you’re judgmental, condescending, self-centered, and high-maintenance. You’re obsessed with your weight, constantly flaunt how much money you have, and are totally focused on material things. Oh, and you talk about how often you have one-night stands. Yeah, you sound like a stereotypical gay man to me.

Drew of course would die if he thought that. He goes above and beyond to criticize the gay community – attacks that are clearly due to deep wounds caused by childhood teasing and isolation.  It’s what we call, “Former Fat Kid Syndrome.” It’s not easy growing up a gay fat kid. It’s much easier to attack the community you so badly want to be apart of. Reject them before they reject you.

This obviously carries over to his dating life too. In episode two, we see him go on a blind date with a very handsome and sweet guy. Shockingly, Drew automatically criticizes the guy for being too short and spends the whole date rolling his eyes and pouting. Later, he complains about how hard finding true love is: “I do hope to find Mr. Right, but it’s super hard because everyone in Dallas tends to be self-centered and shallow.” Um … HELLO DREW! LOOK IN A FUCKING MIRROR!

UGHH!!!

So yeah. I hate the show. I hate all the people. But really, the biggest problem with Most Eligible Dallas is that I’m watching every week. Damn you Bravo! Damn you to hell!

Most Eligible Dallas

RHOBH: What happens when a harsh dose of reality hits a reality show?

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

It’s safe to say that no Housewives premiere had fans more excited than the upcoming season two premiere of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. After all, the first season of RHOBH was a runaway hit for Bravo, hitting 4.2 million viewers and reviving the Housewives franchise after the disaster that was The Real Housewives of D.C.. There were breakout stars (Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, and Giggy, to name a few), The glamour was over-the-top (Adrienne Maloof seriously has more money than any of the housewives from all the other cities combined). And the show already had major controversies afoot (Camille Grammer’s divorce from Kelsey has enough drama to make up it’s own show, not to mention Kim Richards’ trip to rehab and a return visit from Cedric).

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season Two

Yet in the wake of the recent suicide of Russell Armstrong, estranged husband of housewife Taylor Armstrong, I’m going to guess that we’re not going to see the second season of RHOBH anytime soon, it was supposed to premiere on September 5th. If the trailer is any indication, this season focused heavily on Russell and Taylor’s financial problems and eventual separation. No matter how long Bravo delays it, re-edits it, or re-shoots it, it’s going to be hard to erase the tragic reality from this reality show.

But should they?

The Housewives franchise is no stranger to harsh realities. Since the franchise began, we’ve seen an onslaught of housewife horrors. Nearly a dozen of the ladies have filed bankruptcy (including RHONYC’s Sonja Morgan, RHONJ’s Teresa Guidice, and RHOOC’s Alexis Bellino). Seven have divorced (see: almost every housewife from RHOOC). And in RHONJ’s Danielle Staub alone, we got a background of kidnapping, jail time, and prostitution (plus, she was engaged nineteen times!).

This also isn’t the first time the Real Housewives franchise has dealt with death. Gretchen Rossi’s fiancé, Jeff Beitzel, lost his battle with leukemia a few months before the fourth season of The Real Housewives of Orange County premiered. Kandi Burruss’ ex fiancé, Ashley Jewell (“AJ”), was killed in a knife fight while the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was still airing (but before the season 2 reunion taped – which gave Andy Cohen plenty of time to address it).

So the precedent has been set that Bravo will probably try and keep the show going. Most likely, they’ll take a strong edit to Taylor’s segments and film new interviews with her that shows more sympathy towards Russell. Maybe bulk up screen time for new “friends of the housewives”, Brandi Glanville and Dana Wilkey. Do anything they can to tone things down.

But I don’t think Bravo should try and tone things down or distract from the issue at hand. Russell Armstrong killed himself. He left behind three kids – a 13-year-old son and 11-year old son from a previous marriage, and Kennedy, he and Taylor’s 5-year-old daughter who we saw on the show. He left behind a grieving family. A financial shit-show. And a slew of unanswered questions. That’s reality.

In the case of Russell Armstrong, reality was complicated.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn’t very kind to Russell; he came off cold, insensitive, and downright creepy. He was clearly portrayed as the bad guy in his struggling marriage. You never got the sense that he cared about Taylor’s feelings – just her augmented physicality. He seemed to be totally controlling of her time, and was downright disrespectful regarding her opinions (see: the puppy that he bought for Kennedy after Taylor asked him not to). By the end of the first season, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who actually liked him at all.

Looking back on it, it’s hard not to think of Russell in a totally different matter. Maybe he was depressed? He was socially withdrawn and awkward. Exhibited cloudy judgment. He obviously knew his marriage was falling apart. Why would he want to film a reality show about glamour and catfights? He probably thought his best bet was to blend into the background – pull back and focus on his own stuff. Which is exactly he did, and what ultimately made him come off as the bad guy.

I’m not saying I wasn’t right there totally villainizing Russell either. I never felt any sympathy towards him. But was he really that awful? I mean, he wanted to leave a party early. He wanted to get his daughter a dog. He didn’t want to come to Vegas. He just wasn’t into being on reality TV.

So now you have a public persona that’s a pretty unforgiving negative. And then your estranged wife goes to People claiming she suffered physical abuse during her marriage?  And you’re having serious financial problems. And all of that’s about to be televised again in a matter of weeks? Not even taking into account the rumored secret gay lifestyle, that’s got to be hard to handle.

But are those the reasons Russell Armstrong hung himself? Probably not. Suicide is a very dark, lonely, selfish act. Who knows what really drove Russell to that point? It could have been none of these things at all. We’ll never know for sure. You can’t blame the show. You can’t blame Taylor. You can only blame Russell Armstrong; Russell made that choice. He chose to take his own life – to leave behind his family and friends.

So I’d beg Bravo to keep the show as is: Let us see all of it go down. There’s a lot we can learn from Russell’s story. There’s a lot we can learn from Taylor’s story. We haven’t really seen how a family reacts to suicide – especially when a family is already broken – and we haven’t really seen how a reality show can affect someone’s reality so drastically. Bravo could go a long way by showing it – ‘cause not every story has a happy ending.

Russell, Taylor and Kennedy Armstrong

Trailer: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills / Season Two

I seriously cannot wait for September 5th, that’s when the second season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres on Bravo, hands down one of the best channels on television! Even though Beverly Hills is the newest from the Housewife franchise, it’s one of my favorites (along with Orange County, Atlanta and New York City)! All of the cast members from last season are back (even Camille Grammer and messy Kim Richards), plus they’re adding in two new friends, Brandi Glanville (aka Eddie Cibrian‘s ex-wife) and party planner Dana Wilkey, but they aren’t considered cast members. Watch the just released trailer below, this season looks insanely juicy with lots of fights, meltdowns and high drama!

The critically acclaimed series, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, returns for a second season of glitz, glamor, and high drama. All six original over-the-top housewives are back including: Taylor Armstrong, Camille Grammer, Adrienne Maloof, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, and Lisa Vanderpump. Though not official “housewives,” this season the ladies are joined by two new friends: Brandi Glanville and Dana Wilkey, who certainly know how to spice things up in the world’s most famous zip code.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season Two

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