Happy 90th Birthday to Betty White!

So for those of you who don’t know, today is the 90th birthday of America’s real sweetheart Betty White (suck it, Julia Roberts)! NBC even threw together a little television special in her honor, that included appearances by Mary Tyler Moore and other women in comedy. From Us Weekly:

Said Amy Poehler: “Betty, you’re going to hear a lot of jokes tonight about your age. But take comfort in the fact that come tomorrow, you won’t remember any of them.”

Quipped Mama’s Family costar Carol Burnett: “Like many of you, I first heard about Betty from the wonderful stories told to me by my grandmother.”

Chuck hunk Zachary Levi even proposed to White with a diamond ring — sealing the deal with a kiss on the lips! “I would like to be the mother of your children, he cracked.

Other stars paying tribute to White in the 90-minute special included Hot in Cleveland costars Wendie Malick, Valerie Bertinelli and Jane Leeves, President Barack Obama (presenting a birth certificate!) Ellen DeGeneres, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, Morgan Freeman, Hugh Jackman, Jay Leno and Ray Romano with Brad Garrett.

“I’ve been the luckiest old broad on two feet to have all the jobs that I’ve had,” White gushed.

So Happy Birthday, Betty! Hopefully, you live for another ninety years, because you’re just that badass. But worst case scenario, we’ll just have you frozen, cryogenic style. Nothing can go wrong with that.

Betty White

LeAnn Rimes celebrated her birthday in bikinis!

I swear to God, LeAnn Rimes parents must be Bloody Mary and Beetlejuice, because every time anybody so much as mentions her name, she shows up in a bikini. Well, it happened again, because Skeletor took the opportunity to come out wearing a red bikini for her 29th birthday. Oh, wait, did I say her 29th? I mean her 89th birthday. Thanks to Us Weekly for making me barf in my soul.

LeAnn Rimes turned 29 on Sunday, and the singer-actress hit the beach in Malibu, Calif. the day before with hubby Eddie Cibrian and stepson, Mason. Wearing her typically tiny two-piece swimsuit, Rimes playfully posed for the camera as she showed off her toned physique. But Rimes didn’t just don one bikini Saturday. She showed off her taut figure in three different skimpy suits throughout the day!

No, seriously, have you seen that fucking girl in a bikini? It’s revolting. If you put her on the other side of a pitch-black room, I’d still be able to see every bone in her body, as well as the serial code on the bolt-ons she’s sporting. Seriously, there’s a difference between being naturally slender and “Holy shit, I could literally grate a block of cheese on your sternum, then play La Cucaracha on your rib cage, you crazy bitch.”

LeAnn Rimes

Cutie Darren Criss celebrates turning 24!

Here’s the super talented and totally cute (and straight) Darren Criss celebrating his 24th birthday this past weekend in Las Vegas! I still can’t get enough of his adorable character Blaine on Glee (I’m dying for him to finally make out with Kurt played by Chris Colfer), Darren has totally helped the show kick things up to another level of wow, he’s seriously that amazing!

Darren Criss

Glee Star Darren Criss celebrates his birthday at Lavo Nightclub at the Palazzo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada on February 26th, 2011.

Darren CrissDarren CrissDarren CrissDarren CrissDarren CrissDarren Criss

PHOTOS | FAME PICTURES

Someone stole Paris Hilton’s cake!

I’m not really sure who this Paz person is, other than he lives in Hollywood (I think) and he has an acoustic guitar and a hoodie in his pic, so he’s probably either a huge hipster or Justin Bieber from the future. Actually, throw out that last theory because unlike Biebs, this guy actually has balls: He crashed Paris Hilton‘s 30th birthday party, stole her cake, and then bragged about it on the Internet!

“Hey man,” I say to him with an air of I-know-what-I’m-doing. “The cake is in that room, right?” ”Yes, sir,” he acknowledges with a slight bow toward the rear of the house. I take my cue and make a bullet for cake city. In one fluid motion, I sidestep a confused waiter, seize the prize, and about face to the door. I pass the security chief again on the way out. I nod purposefully … he nods in return. 40 seconds later I’m in the front seat of a Nissan Maxima with 70 lbs. of awesome in my lap. Success. As the sun rises, I crash hard. In the morning, I’ll awake to an interesting surprise in the den. It’s red. It’s delicious. And I don’t know WTF I’m going to do with it. SOURCE

As awesome as this story is, a lot of it sort of confuses me. I mean, who would make a 70 lb. cake for Paris Hilton? It’s not like she would eat anything with carbs in it, and God knows she wouldn’t deign to give food to the “peasants”. Also, Paris Hilton is only thirty? THIRTY? Why does it feel like her time on this Earth has been so much fucking longer?

Paris Hilton

Is Zsa Zsa Gabor made of steel? Go her at age 94!

Last week it sounded like Zsa Zsa Gabor was at death’s door (she was rushed to the emergency room after vomiting blood) but lo and behold she’s out of the hospital and just celebrated her 94th birthday this past weekend with (kooky TMZ lovin’) hubby Prince von Anhalt by her side. Plus she had a few friends over to her Bel Air mansion and Engelbert Humperdinck was on hand to serenade the legendary actress of stage, film and television! Her health hasn’t been the best over the past few months (she recently lost part of her leg) but I’m glad to see she’s still hanging in there, what a trooper!

Zsa Zsa GaborPHOTO | TMZ

Zsa Zsa Gabor celebrated her 94th birthday this weekend with a big giant chocolate cake … and a SMILE — super-impressive considering all she’s been through in the past few months. Gabor — who was released from the hospital hours before these photos were taken — is still bed-ridden … but doctors say her infection is gone and her blood pressure has stabilized. Zsa Zsa’s hubby — Prince von Anhalt — tells us Gabor is finally acting like her old self again … and he’s optimistic about her future health. SOURCE

Zsa Zsa Gabor

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