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SXSW won’t let Lady Gaga perform in a giant Doritos machine

SXSW won’t let Lady Gaga perform in a giant Doritos machine
February 27, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Lady Gaga

Well, that’s officially the dumbest headline I’ve ever typed. But yeah, Lady Gaga. Doritos machine. That’s a thing that came out of her brain. NME! Explain yourself!

The City of Austin has refused Lady Gaga a permit to play in a giant Doritos vending machine at this year’s SXSW. The singer had been set to perform at the Texas festival’s Doritos Stage, which is mocked up to look like a huge, snack-dispensing machine, but according to Stereogum the performance has been scrapped due to concerns over public safety. Don Pitts of Austin’s Music And Entertainment division said: “Our conclusion was based primarily on public safety concerns … We look at the size and capacity of the location covered by the permit being sought and how it fits with the anticipated attendance, based on event capacity and promotion. At the end of the day, it’s a parking lot.”

Oh, wow. Not to stifle her creativity or anything, but at some point someone on her team is going to have to sit her down and explain to her that just because something is “random”, that doesn’t mean it’s “clever” or “good”. Although I’m sure somewhere out there, Coco Montrese is putting on her sharpest Lee Press-On Nails. “Bitch, Doritos are MY turf. I didn’t weather a million f*cking jokes about my tang highlights to get ripped off by Lady Gaga.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.