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Steven Tyler is leaving ‘American Idol’

Steven Tyler is leaving ‘American Idol’
July 12, 2012 JEREMY FEIST
Steven Tyler

Remember back when American Idol was this huge star-making machine that managed to turn small-town girls like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood into massive stars? And now I can’t even remember the name of the last person who won, even though it was only a couple months ago and I’m pretty sure he had the same first and last name. John Johnson? Whatever. Anyway, Steven Tyler has decided to ditch the show and return to Aerosmith, because why make new terrible music when you can make old terrible music? Entertainment Weekly reports:

Steven Tyler? Yup, after weeks of rumors that Jennifer Lopez might exit the hit talent show, Fox just announced that the Aerosmith frontman will not return to Idol as a judge for the show’s 12th season. “After some long … hard … thoughts … I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistressAmerican Idol before she boils my rabbit,” said Tyler in a statement. “I strayed from my first love, Aerosmith, and I’m back – but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band.” Tyler then promoted his upcoming album, and added, “Idol was over-the-top fun, and I loved every minute of it…Now it’s time to bring rock back.”

I joke and all, but honestly, you really have to give Idol credit for lasting this long. The show’s been around since 2000 or something, and is still on the air despite there being twenty shows with almost the exact same premise jumping on the bandwagon. I think we should just get it over with and conglomerate them into one big talent competition: Coming next summer, it’s America’s Idol-Factor Voice-Off Got Talent, hosted by Ryan Seacrest‘s head stapled to Nick Cannon‘s body! Only on FOXABCNBCBSWTFUBAR.

Steven Tyler