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Steve Hirsch vows to return Kris Jenner’s sex tape (if it exists)

Steve Hirsch vows to return Kris Jenner’s sex tape (if it exists)
March 31, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kris Jenner

So far, we’ve spent the better part of a week discussing Kris Jenner‘s sex tape, which by the looks of it doesn’t actually exist. For all we know, this was just another way for Kris to drum up publicity for all the nothing she does, and if that’s the case, congratulations. You made us talk about how much we dislike you for another week. Mission accomplished, honey-buns. Anyway, now Vivid Video‘s head honcho Steve Hirsch is swearing that if such a tape exists and he ever gets his hands on it, he’ll return it to Kris. The operative word here being IF. Because it doesn’t exist. RadarOnline reports …

“As of today, I have not been approached by anyone with any tape. If it exists, and I don’t think it does, bring it to me. I’ll buy it and hand it right back to Kris,” Steve Hirsch tells RadarOnline exclusively.

Which is really nice of him, and it’s good to see that he’s more than willing to help someone out, but really, I don’t think anyone would have bought it anyway. I mean really, who would pay money to see Kris devour a man’s head after sex? I mean, is anyone even into that? Oh who am I kidding, it’s the web. I’m pretty sure there’s a site devoted to watching people mash sandwiches together while making kissy noises, and it probably does boffo numbers.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.