Speidi tried to get divorced just for money!

Because it is entirely possible to be both morally AND financially bankrupt at the same time, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt revealed in an interview that their divorce over the past summer was entirely real, but they were only doing it for the money that comes with reality TV shows and interviews, but then they realized that no one actually gave a shit about them so they canceled it. I actually think my soul just threw up.

“The divorce was real – just the idea behind it was different than most people’s,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “Divorcing was the only way to keep Heidi’s career going because everyone hated me so much. Look at Sandra Bullock – her divorce from Jesse James was the best thing to happen to her image.” Now, they worry how they’ll ever get themselves out of the cash crisis. “I can’t make regular money because I was playing such an unlikeable character on TV to keep my checks coming. Who wants to hire the jerk from The Hills?” SOURCE

There are so many things wrong with this quote that I don’t even know where to start. First off, you didn’t “play” an unlikeable character; you’re just flat out unlikeable. Second, I doubt Sandra Bullock really appreciated the attention that comes with having your husband cheat on you with Hitler’s pocket pussy. And third … Well, I just don’t want to live in a world where two straight assholes can get married/divorced for money, but a gay couple getting married defies the sanctity of marriage. What I’m trying to say is, either Speidi goes or I do.

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